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Young Writers Society


Figthing With The Evil-Lilaha



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Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:53 pm
Rahul says...



Chapter-2
Who is following me????

I saw a dark black sky with no stars. I couldn’t see the ground everywhere it was fogy the white fog covered the whole ground like a blanket. The rocky elevated ground was lost in the black atmosphere like they both have joined hands and never wanted to be apart, I can see the pale white moon it was never as white and gloomy like this . I don’t know why it felt like it was not moon which we see it was sad, gloomy, distressing and depressing white ball which was not happy with the dark, foggy and fallen dead branches atmosphere around it.

The tall black trees stared unwillingly at the sky, as they have been forced to do so. The trees seemed to be departed from life. In short the atmosphere was neither less than a dead second hell in this world
Next I saw a tall man wearing a hood I couldn’t see his face as it was too dark. I don’t know why I had an intention he is strong, very strong. There was another man lying down same dressed as him. He looked rather scared and was breathing hard.

“I don’t know sir” the weak man feared.
“You liar” the strong man shouted.
“You are trying to contact them specially her, Eva” he fumed with anger.
“You deserve to be punished” and then a red light came from his hand, and threw the weak man to the tree. The man tried to free his hands but they were tied with some invisible bond, the man cried, sobbed but that didn’t extinguish the strong man’s anger.

“Now good bye” the man laughed
“N- no” he cried and then the strong man with the same red light flew the branches and hit them in the weak man’s stomach. The weak man shouted, liters of blood flew through his body. His black robes were now red robes. Slowly and slowly his breath grew weaker and weaker. “Now let me remove the spell which connects you”. The strong man mumbled some words which made the man on the tree cry, as if he was being tortured by pinching hundreds of nails and then the weak man passed away.

“No!” A fifteen year old girl woke in her night dress. She struggled hard to breath, it took a few seconds for her to realize that it was a dream, and that’s me Eva Lyons. I realized I had tangled myself in the sheets,
“Oh Man!” I cried as I couldn’t get them away, finally after ten minutes I was standing in my blue shorts, checking my hair.

“Good Morning honey!” my mom wished while chopping the onions. My mom was a good old lady, she was pretty what others and I believed. Her blue eyes always fascinated me and always made me wish if I could have them.
“Mom I had that same dream again.” I told her.
“It’s okay may be this is due to the weather” She spoke while putting her overcoat.
“Seriously, what Weather?” I asked
“Now dear sorry I have to rush, dad’s already gone we both have to prepare for a meeting we will talk later” She kissed me and went running to the door.
“Like always” I muttered.
My parents were good and supportive but I still believe that I don’t get enough time to spent with them. I ignored her and went to washroom so after half-an-hour I was ready with my waiting for the bus to drive us to school
*
The sop seemed like normal, as usual I was the only girl and the person waiting for the bus on the stop. I brushed my hair and saw the sky it was clear, shining bright and happy. The clouds moved and danced in the sky, as if they were running for their life to some other place! I guess it’s going to be windy, suddenly I girl walking by me caught my attention., he twisted her lips and moved around, finally she sat on the bench next to mine’s. She squeezed her tiny little eyes as if she was thinking hard

“Here take my cell and contact him” I handed my cell to her.
“Thanks, but ho w do you know I needed it?” she asked
“Well, you seemed new in this town, sitting alone on a bench “something is going on wrong!” I thought, then I saw you looking around obviously if your cell would have been working, you wouldn’t be locking around, so I hand you this you can have a cal” I replied

“Wao! Thanks” She flapped my cell and dialed some numbers.
“Hey thanks, I am on the wrong stop, my uncle in is the nest lane thanks” and she walked away.
I sat on the bench, by the way that’s my specially I don’t why when I examine someone carefully, I get to know about his mood or his feelings, it’s just weird.
“Eva Lyons” I heard a whisper from behind.
“I turned around, and saw none, I walked in the park behind the stop
“Is someone there?” I asked
But there was only dead silence my sneakers crunched on the dead leaves as I looked around all of a sudden I started hearing footsteps near me.

“Who is it?” I looked around but there was only air with the trees dancing in it.
These steps grew closer so I ran but the steps followed me, but I didn’t have the courage to look back, the steps were now echoing in my head too!
“Hi Eva” I heard a voice from the stop, I turned around and saw my school bus, I looked around in the park but there was no one, I guess I am thinking too much these days . I saw Kisha waving me from the bus. Kisha is my best friend since kindergarten. She is a skinny girl with a tall frame reaching almost 5''4. Her curly black hair flipped around her pretty face as she waved at me excitedly.
We both studied in same school till our High School; it was impossible for both of us to drift apart “Hey” she hugged me.
“Oh my someone has got a new hairstyle” she checked my flicks
“I made them; curly just love them!” I replied.
“Do you want to impress someone?”she winked and raised her eyebrows.
“Shut up please Alain is our friend” I defended

“Come on we all know he is the most handsome boy in our school, and you are just adorable, there ought to be going on something between both of you”. she again giggled
“Eva why don’t you throw this pendent, Kisha stared at my blue diamond pendent,
It was a locket having a diamond material stone, it was round and gave a dull blue shin it also had a ring like structure making it look uglier.
“Come it’s from my grandmother” .I hid the locket under my shirt
”The school’s here” Kisha pointed.
I held the handle and went down “I am telling you ju-”
“Hola Ladies!” we were interrupted by Ryan, my friend he is a jolly guy who loves to play pranks on others; he is very mischievous and has been suspended twice this year. He and Kisha are both the second devils on this Earth, especially Ryan he just blows you off!

“Thanks by the way how is you Aesthetic going on?” Kisha asked.
“Nothing I was just bored so I; you all know glued Ms. Geller paint brush she just couldn’t get her hand apart, finally she was taken to hospital where it got away.” He smiled.
“Ryan please tell Kisha not shout every time she sees me ’Eva!’” I walked to the stairs
“Why does that make you fell embarrass in front of Alain but he isn’t there near your stop, is he??” Ryan asked and Kisha gave a smile.

“Eva bent!” I was hit by a guy, he completely hid me under his height
“Aoo! Alain” I hit the concrete floor hard, and on me my friend Alain was lying.
“Everything’s alright” I stared in his sea-green eyes.
“Sorry Eva, you know our basketball practice we sometimes get pretty harsh” he apologized.
I stood up as Alain helped me, he was basically from France “Frenchy” look is the feature which adores everyone and he got that look.

“Meet you later guys and Ryan book the next to you” and Alan went back to the basketball court
“Hey Eva nice flicks” Alain commented.
“Ahm-Ahm, need some air” Ryan lowered his shirt.
“Ryan honey do you need a cough syrup or a punch?” I asked.
“Nothing Eva”, nothing” He hesitated.
“Come on there’s still some time for school, lets judge your power of judging the people” Kisha pulled me to the audience seat in the ground
I pulled myself from her, but Kisha is too strong finally I agreed and sat next to her and Ryan.
Ryan squeezed his lips hard as he sat, he sprained his leg last week during a basketball match so he couldn’t play for our school team.
“Come on I could play better” he shouted
“So Eva judge Zach’s mood today” she smiled
Zach is one of the player is basketball’s team Kisha want me to detect his mood, I have some kind of sixth sense which helps me to detect people’s mood
I saw Zach, he dribbled and went through the players and missed the ball, he stared hard at the net of the ball, he breathed hard and wiped off his sweat. I saw him asking something from Alain, and he nodded in yes.
“So what did you get?” Kisha asked
“Okay, as you can see Zach looks little diverted he hardly misses any chances to basket he is constantly staring at one place which means he is thinking hard, he is also talking to Alain and other players only from our class which means it has to do something with the class. Now adding all the points I see that he either didn’t get the permit to go to Paul’s birthday party or forgot to get signature of his father on Science test and is asking others to help him. Now like others he will ask Ryan for help.
Zach came running to us
“Ryan I need your help, I didn’t get the signature on the test because after seeing the test my parents wouldn’t send me to Paul’s party”
“I go a plan, good work Eva” said Ryan and went with him.
I smiled at Kisha whose mouth was wide open
“Come on I need t go to the washroom” I pulled Kisha with me.
*
Kisha’ s cell tang, she went outside leaving me alone in the washroom
I washed my hands and looked in the mirror and saw an old man warring old white clothes like priests he smiled at me
I tuned and saw
“Who-o are—you?” I vacillated.
“Eva the time has come to realize your powers. I came too you this morning but you were too scared, don’t be afraid I am only here to help you” he smiled and stared walking towards me
“ You were the one near the stop?” I asked but he only smiled.
“No-d—on-t come near me” I screamed and strolled away.
Kisha came running and ask what happened, but the old man was not there anymore..
  





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Points: 2952
Reviews: 136
Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:46 am
Leahweird says...



I was about to comment that you need to mark each section better, but then I realized that you have posted what looks to be three identical versions of chapter two, and there is no chapter one. Which is a shame, because I wanted to know more about what is happening.

The story itself is really interesting, but hard to read. You need to fix some typos and grammar issues.

For example, [“You are trying to contact them specially her, Eva” he fumed with anger." ]

Did you mean to say ["You were trying to contact her specifically, Eva" He fumed.] Or something entirly different?
  








If you don't know it's impossible it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that again, yet.
— Neil Gaiman