Young Writers Society

Chapter-1

Here I remember


I looked outside the window, the Sun was playing with the sky, sometimes showing up, and sometimes not, or it was scared as it was thundering outside, maybe the poor baby is afraid of thunder like I used to be in childhood It was evening time the birds went flying, their destiny was calling them back like my called me twenty five years ago. I smiled and looked at myself through the plane glass, my haunted brown eyes held the thought my dark past, I wish someone could read them.

My eyes went to my blue locket, it was from my grandmother; her last belonging, and the only dark memory from my past.

All of a sudden I was outclassed by Mrs. Hacker’s son , a entered crashing through the house door. I could hear her mother yelling at him for coming late. II ignored and
tapped my feet on the kitchen floor,

“Good Work, Eva” I muttered to myself.

I had already cleaned the kitchen and the tedious work had taken two hours; my cousins were here and when they will come through, I would have to do it all again.

The refrigerator was clean, I peeped into the dish washer, clean as ever. Next I went to the coffee machine, my cousin Larry left brown spots on it. He said it was not intentionally I knew him since the day that little devil was born and all he could do for me was just create a mess.

I went to the machine and took out the new coffee filter from the packet, but they were not there, then I remembered where Kisha kept the coffee grounds in the right closet.

“I don’t know why she doesn’t keep the grounds where I keep them” I murmured to myself.

I poured the ground and hit the on button. I started to hear vibration

“Who is there?” I shouted and then I realized it was only me cell phone buzzing.

I quickly flipped open my phone, it was one of my best friends Kisha
“Hello Kisha, yea be here in ten minutes and is Ryan coming?(Ryan, mo other friend from school)” I asked.

“Yes” she replied her voice on the phone sounded peeped on the cell phone.

“Okay then”. I ended the call.
The coffee was also ready I poured the coffee into my mug took my favourite green blanket and sat near the window. I dazed through the window, it was raining now. I tied my blondish-red hair in a pony and took a sip of the hot mind freshening coffee.

The coffee tasted just like my moms. I always try to follow her recipe but never seem to get it right. “Almost the same,” I whispered as I curled into my blanket.

“Eva!” I heard Kisha’ s voice. I ran to the door and saw Kisha and Ryan standing outside.
Why isn’t your door bell ringing?” Ryan asked scratching his brown hair.

“I don’t know may be this happened because to the rain” I replied.

Kisha ran fingers in her hair snf peeked at the coffee maker “Is my coffee ready?”
“Yea it’s there” I replied
“Aoo! I forgot to tell you how is my new hairstyle?” she asked

Kisha has curly black hair, I like it and it always makes me wish to have them but she hates them and now she got them straight,
“Good” I lied.

Kisha squeezed her eyes twisted her lips. She does that when she want to cook something
“I should cook muffins” Kisha went to the closets.
“Is Alain coming?”. Ryan looked through the window and asked
“Yea I called him, he said there’s a problem in the train he will be there in a few moments” and the door bell rang. Ryan’s cheek went red with the smile on his face

“This should be him” Ryan dragged his feet and went to the door and saw the same old lady wearing the same blue dress and the same white necklace.

“Mrs. Heckers!” Ryan enacted in happy tone
“Oh my dear Ryan how are you? Sorry I am in a hurry, IS Eva around? She asked in her slow voce
“Don’t worry I know why your are here, for Aces right” he grinned.

“Yes thanks” she blushed and handed Ryan a black dull kitten; Aces to him.

“Why this woman always hands you Aces and of course her blue dress, how can she wearing it daily??” Ryan made that weird irritating, struggling expression on his face..
“Yes I guess leave Aces down”. I smiled
“Eva!” a deep voice called. “I will get it Ryan” Kisha replied, gulping down the last drop of the coffee
“Me too” Ryan went after her
“Alain!” Ryan tightly hugged him.
“Hi bro!” Alain hugged him he was a inch taller than Ryan, he was from France, he and Ryan always have a similar voce, I always get confused specially on the phone

“Hello Alain” Kisha looked at him and gave a wicked smile.
“Hello Kisha, good to see you, you also deserve a hug” he smiled her back
They both giggled
“Hi Eva how are you?” Alain asked.
“Good, I am good” we hugged each other.
Alain’s one of my school friends the last member of our gang form school, so here we were me, Kisha, Ryan and Alain sitting for a get toothier ‘party’
“Off! It raining too hard” Alain shivered. I heard the thundering and falling of rain drops I gazed at Aces who was playing with its toy rat.
“It’s just like the other night twenty- five years ago” Kisha smiled.
“Yea same rain, same thundering” Ryan handed the cup to Alain
“Yup! And same we” Alain smiled which made his face to have dimples.
Ryan bit his nails, like he is in tension “I wish we didn’t get that play Romeo-Juliet”
“Our lives would have been different” Kisha said while taking out the muffins from microwave.
“Come on Eva we all are here to set your mood happy, the incident was experienced by all of us, but the thing matter is to forget it” Kisha held the muffin plate

She as somewhat right, twenty five years ago my life was different now it’s different but my friends are with me instead I should appreciate and enjoy with them.

“Let’s go out and eat something the rain has stopped” Kisha changed the topic
So after a few minutes I was with my friends walking in the streets of Los Angles
“Eva are you okay?” Alain asked
“Yes” I smiled him
Kisha came running behind us, she was busy in some sort of makeup
Hey-Aoo!” she tripped and fell in water puddle
“Ryan!” she kicked him.

Ryan didn’t change at all he was still the same giggling, Mr. Prankster guy I want to be like him, looking at his face always shows innocence and no sorrow.
I looked at Alain’s steely blue eyes and the black scar which was made by Lilija the evil, his face looked also normal but I know deep in the heart, he thinks I am unprotect and worries for me.
We stepped into McDonalds, the room was chattering and filled with people like on every weekend. We sat on the table near the door , Kisha’ s favourite place so she can see people and comment on them.
“Eva look at the girl going outside, look at her hair isn’t it a really mess?” Kisha pointed to a girl who was walking on street.

“Yes ugly” I sighed
Alain steadily stared at me and nodded his head “Come on Eva speak up a little we are here for you” he cried.
“I want to but I cannot every time I look myself in a mirror, I see Lillha or that hood wearing people calling me for help.
Ryan made a disappointed face, suddenly his happy-go-lucky face, Kisha’ s gossipness and Alain decency went off.
“You are right Eva it’s hard to forget but you have to move on it was like two decades ago!” Ryan empathized with me
I lowered my eyes, I was feeling ashamed of myself my friends are trying to help me and I am just not paying attention to them

We all come here yearly to celebrate this day though our life changed a long back, we landed in a big trouble we were chosen to protect people, to fight the death to fight the evil which unfortunately didn’t end that well. We all share our thoughts but I don’t help them

“Okay I will do so, but doesn’t that gives you goose bumps Kisha you got powers, Alain and Ryan you were exactly not you and I faced death several times, it was like a second life after every experience I transferred, I myself didn’t know I would be able to survive Abadon’ s attack” I looked in everyone’s face.
No one spoke anything, everyone was quiet thinking of what that yellow paper with mysterious words in the Romeo- Juliet book did to our lives.
I was a fun little girl in my teenage but my life changed during one night, today I will tell you what exactly happened twenty five years.

Okay, you have some major issues with typos that sometimes make this hard to read. Droped words and wrong pronouns and the like. I would go back and fix those before you do anything else. Also, I couldn't pin down what age the characters were supposed to be. Supposedly they were teenagers 25 years ago, but I'm still getting a teenage vibe from them.

Now for the good stuff. I really like the sense of suspense you created. Now I really want to find out what happened. I actually think you could be even less specific to increase the sense ofmystery. Like, the first time the play is mentioned, just call it "That Play", or leaving out the bit about how they were chosen to fight evil. The implication that somerhing aweful happened at this stage is more powerful than the specifics, since the main character is about to explain anyway. There's a fine line between annoyingly mysterious and too straightforeward, and you've miraculously leaned toward the latter.

I really liked the line about the sun being a baby, hiding from the thunder. I think it sets up your rone really well, and tells us a lot about the narrator. I like her. I want to find out how her life got to this point.