Young Writers Society

2: “Stop! Turn! Blinker! Red Light!” Sammy, Terri’s friend that was a sophomore had just gotten her license, and she was still a little shaky behind the wheel.
“I’m trying! I’m trying! Don’t be backseat drivers!” she yelled at the four sitting behind. It was Jamie, Rickie, Terri, and Brain who sat holding on for dear life all from the same grade level except Brian. The one who had it the worst was Kendra who sat in the front staring wordlessly.
“Kendra isn’t saying anything! You guys should follow.” She called, looking over at another car that honked curtly.
“Oh fuck you!” she yelled. Sammy wasn’t good at driving but she sure had a good vocabulary. Terri figured that was why she was in Advance Placement English, year twelve. She shared her piece of knowledge with Jamie and they both giggled. Terri looked up to see Sammy’s dark eyes peering up at the mirror to watch the two.
“Hey, Sam I’m a leader not a follower.” Rickie assumed in his rough gravely voice.
“Is that why we lost at the beach volleyball game? I mean, that Sarah Winters sure knew what she was doing but you had to go and screw everything up with that so called “plan” of yours.” Jamie baited. She and Rickie were in a constant state of bickering about that volleyball game, mostly because Jamie was on the losing team and knew the plan Rickie had conjured up wouldn’t work. “That plan so could have worked. You just didn’t get that ball, I mean the team was like giving the point away with that serve.”
“You said you had it!” She turned to see his face. Like a little boy he had two dimples in his cheeks, wavy sandy blonde hair to his ears, and sparkling blue eyes.
“I did? I seemed to have missed that part,” he said as if clueless of the whole thing.
“Your left brain too.” she whispered moving her short red hair out of her green eyes. Terri couldn’t help but laugh; when she did she got an annoyed look from Rickie and shut up. He was just as bad as Brian. She slipped her hand to Jamie and got a quick high-five.
“Hey guys…did you bring your bathing suits?” Kendra finally spoke up from the front while fooling with her digital camera.
“Yeah,” they all mumbled in unison.
“Good…there’s some water guns in the back…” she shared with the five.
“Alright Ken!” Rickie reached up and slapped Kendra a high-five, apparently living from Jamie’s cruel sting of words.

3: “Alright, guys file out.” Sammy barked as she unlocked the doors to the van.
“Don’t forget your things in the back!” she yelled as they shut the sliding door. Terri walked up to the front, resting her hands on the open windowpane.
“Hey, Sam I wanted to thank you for tonight. You’re a good friend.”
“Yeah…you’re welcome. Too bad those guys over there are too self-absorbed to say the same thing.”
Terri turned and saw Kendra run and tackle Rickie to the beach’s sand and laughed.
“So you guys have fun, you hear?” Sam asked giving her friend a smile as she turned back.
“You could come. You know we aren’t going to be drinking too many beers and partying all night.”
Sammy checked her watch and laughed seeing the time,
“No can do. Curfew is twelve. Twelve fifteen right now. I’m already late.”
“Well I don’t want to keep you waiting,” Terri reached up through the open window and gave Sam a quick hug.
“Hey, wait, Terri!” Sam turned and dug around the floor to the van. “Aha,” she cried out as she soon appeared,
“The guys may have the water guns, but you have these.” She handed Terri a jumbo pack of water balloons and two canisters of shaving cream.
“You are so immature,” Terri said looking at the shaving cream.
“You know it.”
“Thanks, Sammy this is really great. I really wish you could stay.”
“Ah, I’ll be fine. Just have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“See you, Sam!” Terri yelled as she walked off.
Sammy almost wished she had stayed. Almost.

Your dialogue is good, and it is really the only thing that moves the story along smoothly.

I don't have a problem with the story, but there are some grammatical/English mistakes that I'd like to correct for you.

Sammy, Terri’s friend that was a sophomore had just gotten her license, and she was still a little shaky behind the wheel.

It should be "Terri's friend WHO was a sophomore..." However, I think the whole sentence would sound better if you took that part out completely. "Sammy, Terri's sophomore friend, had just..." And don't forget to put apositives inside two commas.

she yelled at the four sitting behind.

I think you mean either: "sitting behind her" or "sitting in the back."

It was Jamie, Rickie, Terri, and Brain who sat holding on for dear life all from the same grade level except Brian. The one who had it the worst was Kendra who sat in the front staring wordlessly.

This entire part sounds really, really awkward. It really needs rewording just to clear it up. "Jamie, Rickie, and Terrie (who were all in the same grade), and their younger [or older] friend Brian, sat holding on for dear life. Kendra had it the worst, sitting in the front, staring wordlessly."

That wasn't even that great, but I think it's more clear. You left out a lot of commas, and phrases like "the one who" are really unnecessary.

“Oh fuck you!” she yelled. Sammy wasn’t good at driving but she sure had a good vocabulary.

Haha. I like this part, it's cute! (I know how she feels! )

called “plan” of yours.” Jamie baited.

Everytime you end a quote, and then follow it with "she said" or "he asked" or something, it should end with a COMMA not a period. I figure you know that, but you had a period in a couple of places, so I thought I'd just point that out to you.

as if clueless of the whole thing

"Cluless ABOUT the whole thing."

I think I've already told you this, but I don't like much direct description. Sometimes it fits, and sometimes it's necessary. I think you should space out your descriptions more, so that your not describing Jamie in one sentence and Kendra in the next.

Also, I felt that as you crammed several characters into a fairly short part here, you lose character development. I get the characters confused.

Anyway, I don't mean to be so negative. You really are a good writer, but it's the knit-picky things that really help us all grow as writers.

-Sarah