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Midnight Darkness #3



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Sun Nov 04, 2007 1:44 am
BigBadBear says...



Chapter Three: My Transformation

The flight back to New Jersey was worse than the one before. Payton was sick, and had to use two bags just to clean up his stomach. The stewardess recommended that he shouldn’t eat a big meal before flying. Payton thought it was useless advice, because there was nothing that he could do about it now.

When he got home, he quickly strode to his door. When he opened it, he shut it and started transforming. The sun was now completely over the horizon, and the full moon shined bright. It wasn’t full moons that triggered the transformation, but the lack of light. Once the world was in darkness, the werewolves stalked the land. Payton had no control over it.

His body became rough and furry, and he slipped out of his clothes. He tried carefully not to step on him, but he really only had a little bit of control. Werewolves had been taught to let go of their senses and let the beast within takeover. It was normal for a werewolf to go hunting for human every couple of days, and Payton tried to ignore that fact. Payton had once been human also, and he didn’t want to ruin it for the rest of the world.

Quickly, before his werewolf side took over him, he grabbed his phone book with his furry hands that were rapidly turning into paws, and looked up Maxfield. He remembered that David Maxfield was the only one, and when he found the page, he had a long snout and sharp fangs.

“Hurry!” he thought. He knew that once he became a full werewolf, he could do almost nothing humanly.

Payton ripped out the page and put it on the counter. He dragged a chair over to the counter and jumped on it. He now was walking on all fours. Black hair blurred his vision, so he huffed and angrily shook his head to the side so his hair would flip. He looked at Maxfield, David and Carol. The werewolf tried to memorize the address, and when he felt comfortable enough, he jumped off of the chair and scurried over to the door, now completely transformed.

“Celeste, get off the phone now! Bradley is coming in a half an hour to pick out up anyway, and you can talk all you want with him! I need the phone!” Mom cried. My sister looked at her with an empty expression and quickly said all of the, “I love you’s,” and, “goodbye’s.”

When at last, Celeste hung up, she gasped. “Oh no! I still need to do my makeup!” She gave the phone to Mom and then ran up the stairs as fast as she could. My mom looked at the numbers on the phone, and then dialed her number.

I was at the wooden dinner table, finishing up dinner. I had never been a really fast eater. The fried chicken sat on my plate, and I looked at it, probably looking like I was going to barf.

“Do you have homework?” I looked over to the couch to see my dad watching football.

“No.”

“Did you have a good day at school.”

What? Other than the weird look that Mr. Doug gave me? Of course not!

“Yeah.”

“What did you do today?”

“Nothing,” Why do parents have to interrogate their kids on what happened at school?

My dad resumed watching football, and suddenly shouted, “Oh come on! That was such a foul! What are you smoking, ref?”

I rolled my eyes.

I was glad that Celeste was on a date. That meant that I could actually go to sleep in peace, at least for now. I turned the lights off and cuddled in bed. The fabric was made out of something that was supposed to keep you warm; it said it on the bag. It really did keep me warm, or it might just be me, because I am always hot.

I sighed. Today had been a really stupid day. Courtney continued to ignore me –big surprise there! I am still failing Geometry, and Mr. Doug still thinks that I cheat off of everything. Oh, my life couldn’t get any better than that!

I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

A shadow slowly glided across the street. It moved so swift, that anyone would have been surprised to know that the shadow was one of a woman. Ronda let her feet sway with the wind, and remained perfectly hidden from prying eyes. Her black hair was tied behind her back, and her fangs dug into her lips. It was time to finish the job.

She stopped at my house. Ronda examined it from every aspect. She memorized the escape routes; the windows, and located my bedroom. Yes, it was time. After much debate, this was her moment. This is where she would save the entire Vampire world. In one move, she would become the leader.

Yes. She had thought about it time and time again. Now this is the time. This is the hour where the werewolves’ fate would change forever.

If only she could transform into a bat. Ha! She laughed at her own thought. Yeah right. Those stupid Vampire movies were all fake. Vampires can’t transform into a bat, much less a bird!

Ronda looked up at my window. It was locked, just like it was every night since my ‘werewolf’ incident.

She slowly glided across the grass and stopped. She looked up once more, and Ronda began to climb to get to the top window; my window.

The Vampire unlocked the barrier that prevented her from meeting me with her mind. The window lock clicked open, and when she finally got to the top of my large house, she pushed up, and the window went up.

Slowly, silently, she crept into my room, and stood up. It smelled of a dirty retainer, and she almost gagged, but she couldn’t. Not right now. She was so close. So close to finally becoming the ruler of the Vampires!

My bed was pulled into the left corner of my room. I was all tangled up in my sheets when she stepped closer. I was a perfect target; my neck was clear of any sheets or anything. I was perfect.

Ronda slowly bent over my neck. She whispered something about a prophecy being fulfilled. Yes, she knew that I had to be that one. She smiled and took a deep breath. Then, she leaned closer and opened her mouth, showing large, pointed fangs.

Suddenly, there was a huge bang, and Ronda quickly turned her head towards the door. There was a scream from behind her –Blast! The boy had woken up!

Ronda gasped as she saw what had just come through the door. A werewolf was standing, facing her. His fur was black, and he had a wet snout and it looked like he had been drinking blood.

Instantly, she knew who it was. “So, Payton, here to steal the prophecy?”

The werewolf growled a really low growl. His fur was roughed up, and it looked like he had rolled over in thorns. This was not exactly how Ronda had planned this night. She expected more of a bite, and then a flight. Not a bite and then a fight with a bloodthirsty werewolf.

Ronda heard shuffling behind her, and she glanced at Landon, who was standing up on his bed, his eyes filled with fright.

“Landon,” Ronda said slowly, choosing her words carefully, “listen to me. This werewolf wants to bite you and kill you. If you do what I say, then you can survive.”

Landon made no sound, because he was still up against the wall. His eyes were glued to the black werewolf.

Payton huffed, and he buried his eyebrows in his eyes.

“Landon, listen to me. I need to you run out this door when I say go, alright –”

Suddenly, Payton jumped up in the air and with his right paw, he punched Ronda in the face. “Ah!” she screamed, as she staggered back. She felt her nose; it was gushing out blood.

“Landon! Go now!”

“What’s all of this shouting, Landon? Is your TV on?” came a voice from another room.

“Mom!” Landon cried; the first word since he woke up. “Help!”
Payton turned around and shut the door with his big body and locked the door. When he turned around, Ronda was facing Landon, telling him calmly what to do. Stupid Vampires. They always wanted to help, but never to kill. That is why they are so weak, Payton thought. Then, he lurched himself at Ronda, who turned around with amazing speed and Payton landed on her.

“Go! Landon, go!” she shouted.

Payton barked and bit Ronda in the neck, just like she would have done with Landon. He wiggled his head, tearing out vital organs in her throat.

She cried helplessly, but she could speak no more. Ronda looked up at Landon, and he looked back. The Vampire had blood gushing out of her neck, and onto the floor.

I was terrified out of my mind! My worst fear, the very monster that I had written about in my report was standing not even four feet away from me! There was nothing I could do. That Vampire was baring her fangs, I knew for the last time, and I couldn’t help but feel sad for the thing because I knew she would die.

But what about me? Was I to die? No! Never!

I looked for an escape route, but suddenly there was a knocking on my bedroom door, and I heard my mother’s voice saying, “Landon? Unlock this door!”

“Mom!” I squeaked. Whoa…was that me? That helpless word sounded like a terrified girl screaming for her life!

The werewolf looked up, his fangs showing. I opened my eyes in fear, and then he jumped. It was amazing how fast all of this took place. First he was here, then he was there, and now I have jumped off of my bed and I ran to my door.

“Mom! Mom, help!” I cried. The werewolf barked and growled at the same time. It gave me the feeling that I was going to die.

“MOM! OPEN THE DOOR!” I yelled. The werewolf was slowly closing in, and then I felt him right by my side. I jumped and put my back against the wall.

And then I noticed the open window. It was behind the werewolf, who had blood dripping down his mouth. Or was it a she? Anyhow, the window was open, and ther was a trail of dark red blood leading from my bed to the window.

The Vampire was gone!

And I was trapped in a room with a werewolf!

I’m going to die!

I heaved myself towards the window, but not fast enough for the werewolf. He caught me with his teeth on my leg, and I collapsed on the floor.

Indescribable amounts of pain were sent rushing through my leg, up my torso, and into my head. My brain throbbed like crazy! I felt dead and alive at the same time, and the excruciating pain exerted my muscles. I fell limply to the ground, withering in pain.

It was horrible. My leg felt dead and useless, and by brain was pounding in my skull. It was all that I could do not to die. I held on for my life, while the immense pain shot through my body.

Pain, pain, pain. Everywhere. My leg started to burn, as if it was on fire, but there was nothing I could do any more.

My eyes were the only things that I could move, and I saw the werewolf strike a match (from where he got it, I have no clue) and with some difficulty, set my desk on fire. There was loads of paper on my desk, and that only fed the fire more. The werewolf looked at me sadly, and then rolled me over to the window. More pain. More excruciating pain. And it was everywhere!

The werewolf was doing something to me, most likely eating my innards, and I had to watch. My eyelids seemed like they were glued to my face, and I couldn’t move. I was sure that they were bloodshot, just like everything else in my body.

Pain. Oh, I hated that feeling. The werewolf lifted me up somehow, and I felt a rushing of wind, and then more pain. This time, it was only for a second, but it still hurt, even worse than the pain before.

Pain. More pain. More deadly pain. I heard screaming and yelling. I heard sirens, and then I blacked out.

The first thing I noticed was that my head was killing me. Not just like a small headache; this one was huge! Something was causing me to feel dizzy and nauseated. Oh man, that was not a good feeling.

The next thing I noticed was that I was really warm, which surprised me because it was fall, and where I lived, it was usually chilly.

I managed to peek out just a little bit, and saw that I was near a tree. Or a branch, I couldn’t really tell which. And I was on grass. Soft, green grass. I was warm, near a tree and was on soft green grass. I could tell that so far. But where was I?

I lifted my other eyelid, and suddenly I smelled this really great smell. I couldn’t quite place it though. It seemed like it was a hot dog or something. Oh man, a hot dog sounded wonderful right now! I had just noticed my stomach growling, as if to say, “Give me food, Landon!”

I sighed and lifted myself up. I balanced myself on my arms, and wondered why my hair was in my eyes. I had just cut it last week, hadn’t I? I brushed it away, and then yelped – or more like barked.

I was stunned. Was that I? Slowly, I looked at my hand. And then I freaked out.

I was looking at a paw. A dog paw. How in the heck did I get a dog paw for a hand?

Suddenly, I was flooded with memories. I remembered the Vampire, Ronda was her name, right? And then the werewolf. I shuddered. That was not something I wanted to think about right now.

And then the pain. Oh, yeah. The pain. What did I do to get all of that pain?

I looked at my hand –paw, excuse me – and shuddered. I slowly looked down at my body, and gasped.

I was in a white dog’s body! The fur was covering everything! I had never been this hairy in all of my puberty! And then I saw my tail. Oh no, I thought.

This is all just a bad dream, right? It’s just a bad dream? There is no way that a person could turn into a dog! What was I thinking? It’s just a bad dream.

“You hungry?” a voice said behind me.

I gasped, or yelped, or even barked. I couldn’t really tell what one. I spun around, and fell down. I had to use my back feet. Oh boy, this was truly terrifying.

Everything that happened next totally surprised me.

First, I noticed that a man was cooking a hotdog over a fire. He was naked except for a little thing around his waist that looked like a big leaf.
Second, my hunger took over, and I scurried as fast as I possibly could towards the hot dog. It was gone within seconds, and that is about the time that I noticed who the man was.

I stared at him, and he stared right back at me.

“Mr. Doug?” I exclaimed, but it came out as a bark.
Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.
  





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Sun Nov 04, 2007 10:32 pm
Sachiko says...



Hmm. Wow. That was unexpected.

Not much I can really say, seeing as this is NaNo. I did notice a few little things, grammar, and such. And just one little thing, there seems to be a fairly large amount of exclamation points. Not that exclamation points are bad, mind you! But, if you use them too much, then it tends to cut down on the meaning.

Just saying!

But, overall, I think it was rather good! Keep it up,

Sachiko
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy

"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
  





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Sun Nov 04, 2007 11:11 pm
Kim says...



this one confused me,
when Ronda showed up in the picture, you used I instead of Landon, then switched to using his name.

Ex. my bed was pushed into the corner, i was perfect.
try to write it from Ronda's view. something like, she could see his bed in the corner,,,he was perfect.

other then that, this is great. i am enjoying reading this story.

kim
  





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Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:10 pm
Fire Light says...



Hmmm... very interesting, although it was kind of confusing but kind of thrilling the way you switched point of views.

A nice piece of work, all the same. This could be a best seller.
  








There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages on which you can spend your time. But I prefer to think that a book is like a life, particularly a good one, which is well to worth staying up all night to finish.
— Lemony Snicket