Beginning
Stretching and carefully unwinding herself, Alan took in her surroundings, which had been shrouded in darkness when she had stumbled off of her mount early in the morning. Now she noticed that it was a sheltered spot at the base of a hill. Her horse was tethered loosely to a tree that stood sentry nearby. Smiling at the natural beauty and general silence around her, she wound her way down another small hill and towards a gurgling stream that was tripping along merrily. After washing her face and hands and scooping up a drink, Alan caught sight of her changed appearance. Her breath caught in her throat as she continued to stare and touched the rough ends of her hair. Barely above her shoulders, her black hair was still slightly wavy, but its beauty was gone. Glancing lower, she noted that her already small chest was completely flat, without a trace of binding.
Heaving a sigh as she realized that this was precisely what she needed, Alan couldn’t help but think about her hair and her lost femininity. However, she was able to dispel all discouraging thoughts by considering her loved ones for who she did all these feats. A sad smile curved her lips, but she was feeling better already and prayed a small thanks to the One who had delivered her thus far. She also prayed for her nurse back home, and that there would be no suspicion or consequences for her once it was discovered that she was gone. With that thought, Alan looked up at the sky to judge the time and realized that she would have long since been missed, for it was already late in the afternoon. Shrugging, she trudged back up the hill and collected her things, before tacking up her steed. After making their way to the top of the hill, she pulled out her map and surveyed the land before her, glancing every once in a while to confirm her position. Luckily, she was quite handy with coordination and was able to find her location and the needed direction with ease. With a gentle kick, the horse was trotting away with his mistress happily humming. She replaced the map and, realizing what she was doing, quit with the girlish habit. She would have to be careful: with some of the things she was used to doing, her cover could easily slip. Humming, stepping lightly, tossing her hair around, giggling – though she was not coquettish as like most other women, and probably her higher standards of hygiene: these things would have to be eliminated – for the time being – or reformed.
Also, she was painfully aware that eloquence was not expected or accepted among the masses of peasants – especially a young boy. As this was one of the most integral parts of her personality, Alan feared that it would become the very downfall of the mission. So, she began to think of the common jargon spoken amongst the servants and those living in her father’s lands. It was not hard for her to recall the course words that seemed so ill-fitted for her mouth: though she found it a pleasant relief from nobles and courtiers attempting to use their gift of knowledge for power or attention. Often, she would walk through the nearest village within her familial borders and simply listen to the chatter around her or even strike up a conversation with the occasional traveling merchant.
As Alan was contemplating the differences between boys and girls in general, she recalled how even when they were at a very tender age, her brother Domnall’s voice had always been deeper than her own. Sighing at having to remember yet another detail, Alan set to work deepening her voice. She practiced speaking with her altered tone, using the peasant’s lingo, and even chuckling, though at first she felt rather foolish talking to herself. She soon pushed such thoughts from her mind and positioned it as her talking to her horse, just in case she came across anyone on the road – for she had indeed returned to the well-worn stretch of hard-packed dirt. Surprisingly, Alan had yet to meet anyone over the course of her journey to that point. She reasoned that it was due to the war in the area, and few people would be inclined to venture farther than needed, which meant their own town in most cases.
She was not sure whether to be grateful that there would be no suspicious or nosy individuals, or if she ought to be concerned about reaching the castle and its surrounding town by herself. Though she had to admit that it was more freeing to be a male, since there would be much fewer questions than if she were recognized as a lone female. Earlier, while she had been hashing out what was acceptable as a boy and what characteristics and habits must be refrained from, it had crossed her mind that whistling would make an excellent alternative to humming. That thought having crossed her mind again after she successfully squashed the desire to hum, Alan began to whistle a hymn she had heard during a church service. It was her, Cara, the twins, and her nurse’s favorite song of praise.
As she began to think about faith, which was evident in the lives of herself and her younger siblings and their nanny and especially Cara, she realized how completely devoid of a faith walk her parents’ lives were. They took their family to church every weekend, even during the war, and gave money and seemed to follow the rules, but it was purely based on a sense of obligation. The only reason the younger generation had not fallen into the depravity of their predecessors, was because of the faithful and patient nurse. She had instructed them since early childhood in the way they ought to go, and as they got older they had come to respect and love her for it – more so than they respected and loved their own parents. However, the more she thought about the familial state of salvation, she realized that her older brother had never really seemed whole-hearted in his worship of their Savior. She noted that especially as time went by and Domnall gave his infrequent and short visits home, he seemed to grown more and more distant and bitter towards God, though he did not usually display his views on the subject openly. Alan was glad to discover that Domnall’s feelings towards his family were not at all diminished.
She was musing over all of these things, and was cast so deeply in her heavy thoughts that she was completely unaware of the first people she had come into contact with on her journey. Slowly, a mix of people had begun to trickle onto the road and converged into quite a large mass, all pushing forward and trudging along persistently. She remained oblivious to her situation until she was suddenly reprimanded by a harsh, deep voice. “Eh you! On the horse! Watch where you’re goin’ you lousy good for nothing.” So startled that she could not even reply, Alan simply pulled up her horse and froze. A short but stocky man was standing just in front of her and scowling like he could not even stand the sight of her. Behind him stood a group of other men, equally fearsome and intimidating. When she had finally gathered her wits enough to reply, and that did not take long, a new, equally deep but easy voice broke the staring match that Alan had unknowingly engaged with the cranky man.
“Now then, what’s the trouble here?” Alan turned towards the voice though she could still feel the eyes of the entire group trained on her. A tall, wiry figure stood just to the side of her black mount. She was surprised to see the bold features of a young man, and a handsome one at that. His lightly browned skin showed he had recently been in the sun – though Alan suspected that if he were to spend more time in doors his skin would be paler, and the way his mouth quirked attested to his love of laughter. Dark, soft brown hair framed his smooth, beardless face, and brought out the light yellowish green color of his eyes. Though slightly mesmerized and intrigued by the unique shade of the stranger’s eye color, she quickly finished her once over before turning back around and shifting nervously on her horse. Though the men themselves did not truly scare her, Alan was concerned that she had not had enough time to practice her boy voice or her peasant lingo. She could slip up with ease and then her mission would be over and done with. She would either be attacked by the surrounding individuals, sent to Lord Lachlann, or forced to return home – the latter option she considered to be much more dreadful than the rest. However, she realized that the man could not wait for an answer and she opened her mouth to reply. Unfortunately, the other man answered first.
“This piece ‘o trash thinks he’s so fancy on his horse that he nearly run me an’ my companions over. I’m only going to rough ‘im up a wee bit for not being sorry.” Giving a slightly gap-toothed and maniacal grin, he reached up as if to unseat Alan.
Once again the stranger spoke up. “One moment please, I am sure that our little friend here has his own explanation.” He trained his gaze on Alan, green orbs boring into dark blue as he gave a nod. “Go on then.”
Raising her head and trying to refrain from tossing her non-existent long locks over her shoulder, Alan lowered her voice as much as she could without sounding utterly fake. “Well, I be deep in thought, ya see, and jus’ riding along. There was no one about when I started, and I let me mind stray on an’ on. All ‘o the sudden, this man was yellin’ at me an’ giving me what for. I swear, sir, I did not see ‘im or anyone else on the road! Truly am I sorry!” Alan changed her voice to have a deep but pleading and innocent tone, and kept her facial expressions consistent with what she had been saying. She told the truth, but in a story-like way that would catch attention and help a person to get involved and to empathize and see the teller’s point of view. Though the rest of her family was aware of Alan’s talented silver tongue, she herself had no idea that she could manipulate an individual so well. She simply thought that all people eventually saw reason and conceded to such a course of action.
Still, though the harsh group of men had softened somewhat, the head speaker – and obvious leader – still seemed defiant. When she looked over to see the stranger’s reaction, she noticed him studying her with thick, dark brow’s raised. Suddenly feeling conscientious and paranoid, Alan looked down and leaned slightly away from everybody in their three-point triangle. His gaze was still fixed. All the while that this was taking place, those involved in the rather ridiculous controversy had remained where they had been in the middle of the road. Only when they began to hear the grumbling and complaints did the tall stranger look away from Alan. In a brisk and light voice, he turned back to the band of men, saying: “There you have it! The boy has apologized and admitted his absent-minded wrongdoing. All is well, and we ought to remove ourselves from our current position, do you not agree? Now why not shake hands and part in civility.” Giving both parties what Alan considered to be a warm and handsome smile, the young man backed from his place in-between the horsed rider and the gruff man on foot. However, it seemed that the man did not want to leave in goodwill and instead made again as if to unseat Alan.
She had her knife whipped out and ready just as he lunged. Before he could lay a hand on her though, a strong fist was launched into his jaw. Shocked at the help that had seemed to come from thin air, Alan turned to look at who had knocked the man off his feet. The tall stranger was now standing right by her foot, which was still placed in the stirrup. With a ferocious scowl and the rest of his features bent in a stony expression, he motioned for the other men to take hold of their leader. As they stood him up, he was cursing and cupping the wounded side of his face, glaring at Alan as if it were her fault. She worked hard to hold in her scoff, while her rescuer addressed the attacker and his men in a clipped, hard voice. “It would be best if you simply disappeared from my sight.”
Shortly thereafter, the men had dragged the instigator from the scene. Alan studied her mysterious savior closely as he was turned away and was focusing, once again, on her – it was a stiff and incredible green stare that unnerved her and brought her fears of discovery once again to the forefront of her mind. However, instead of calling her out, he seemed to be trying to understand just what to do with her. Finally he spoke, and his voice was softer, his smile had returned, and he was looking at her in a more relaxed manner. “I guess I ought to introduce myself. I am Faolan.” He stuck out his hand for her to shake. “And you are?”
“Alan.” She replied in a small – but still deep – voice as she caught his hand firmly and shook it quickly before dropping it again. She was slightly surprised by his switch in moods, but when she heard his name, she could hardly help thinking that it sounded familiar. “Thank you, by the way, for helping me just now.” She had been focusing on thanking him, instead of keeping up her newly formed practice of speaking with the commoner’s words. When she made eye contact again, she was shocked to see confusion on his face, but he made his thoughts clear very quickly. “You are a noble, aren’t you.” It was a statement, not a question.
Stumbling around for what to say, Alan blurted out the first words that came to her frantic mind. “Don’t tell!” Her voice had slipped back into its normal tone, and as soon as the words left her mouth, she slapped her hand across it, blue eyes widened in horror. Inside, she was berating herself as she quickly averted her gaze and stared at the ground on the opposite side of her horse. She did not look back up until she heard a deep chuckle. Her gaze flew to Faolan’s face, which she found contorted in his meager attempt to stifle his laughter. She was caught between her feelings of confusion, relief, and annoyance at not knowing quite why he was laughing, but knowing it was because of her. Again, she shifted in her saddle as she felt her mount shifting beneath her: they were both feeling the same thing, impatience. Finally, she snapped at him, and though she was very conscientious of lowering her voice, she had once again returned to her normal way of speech due to her indignation. “Well? I do not see any reason for such a reaction as you are displaying!”
He came around slowly, shaking his head and gazing at her in what seemed to be pure amusement. When he had finally drawn quiet, Faolan raised his hands in a manner that indicated subtle surrender. “Calm down, I, Faolan McCarthy, promise that I won’t tell anyone that you are a noble.” Alan’s breath caught in her throat. He only thought she was a noble, not a maiden? She could feel the relief fully taking over and she sighed her appreciation. However, he was not finished with her. “But – I do want to know why such a youngster as yourself is traveling in disguise in these parts.”
Alan appraised him carefully before addressing him in her tone that indicated that she meant business and would not stand for child’s play. “Firstly, I am grateful for your silence. Secondly, I wish to know how you discovered my identity,” – Or part of it, she added mentally before carrying on with a slight edge of self-righteousness that she thought necessary for her ruse. “Also, I am not that young…And we ought to get out of the middle of the street.” She added the latter part as more of an after thought.
Chuckling again, Faolan grabbed the thick, leather reins of the large horse and began to lead him and his slightly fuming mistress off to the side of the dirt road. After coming to a stop, her turned back to Alan and gave her that same unnerving look that he had earlier, but this time, it held more curiosity than anything else. “Alright then.” He copied her business like tone that she had just used, which caused her to roll her eyes. “Firstly, you are most welcome. Second, you sounded very fake when using the commoner’s lingo. Then you spoke very eloquently and with good taste after allowing me to feel how soft and unaccustomed to work your hands were – traits most often held by young, foolish women, or nobles.” She tried to hide her face as she could feel the red heat of embarrassment washing over her features, but Faolan seemed to not care as he plowed ahead. “Not to mention the fact that you are using very expensive tack on a well bred and handsome charger. Also, you are, in fact, rather young in comparison to me, and your little voice changing trick back there only proved that you have yet to reach maturity.” Here he rolled his eyes.
Alan pretended to gasp furiously, but she was glad that he had simply thought it a “coming-of-age” situation. At least she knew how old she looked and could act more accordingly. She remembered when Domnall had been around her supposed age: he was very moody, his voice went all over the scale, and he ate like there was no tomorrow. Grinning inwardly, she continued to scowl outwardly at Faolan. She eventually asked a few more questions and slowly allowed herself to feel comfortable in his presence. He had a very friendly, outgoing and carefree personality that a person could not help but warm to. They both determined that they were heading to the same place for the same reason – work, and both began to walk down the road together. Walking because Alan had offered to let him ride with her, but he declined and she did not feel comfortable with the two of them being unequal. Instead, the horse trudged along patiently behind with the reins draped over Alan’s shoulder and wound around her hand.
As they were ambling along, fewer and fewer people surrounded them as they were on the stretch of road that was in-between two villages. Until they were eventually by themselves, just speaking about the war. They found that both were opposed and the same general feelings towards the two battling fiefs. However, the more the two spoke, the more that Alan took in about Faolan – such as his excellent posture, his extensive knowledge, pleasing manner, his own gift of eloquence, and also his name. The more that her thoughts dwelt on the obvious, the more Alan felt a fool until she could no longer hold in her discovery. With wide eyes, she stopped and turned on Faolan rather suddenly, causing he to look over at her and place his hands on her thin shoulders, looking concerned.
“Alan, are you alright?” She simply stared. “Alan, seriously, what’s the matter?”
Shaking slightly, she made sure her blue orbs pierced his own green gaze. “I know who you are Faolan McCarthy…” He looked at her confused at first, but then realization covered his features and his face grew into a grimace as she exclaimed. “You are a noble as well!”
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