wow..i remember reading the prologue in your notebook. it does seem A LOT shorter. it took me like 3 days to read it because of other people reading...or it was just a bad time in class.
ANYWAYS...I'm not quite sure what Sela Locke is actually saying. There's some imagery in there [Dark, ominous clouds covered the moon; casting a shadow over the valley as rain began to fall] dialogue and what not.
In my personal opinion...excluding everyone else...I think it's a pretty good book...er..prologue right here. It'd be awesome if you published it. that may be way out there, but oh well.
KEEP WRITING!!
[even though you finished this book..right?? yeah...haha]
________________
Life is like a diaper; good to have but sometimes stinks. AZ&MB
It was a good prologue, but it would be better with a lot more emotion. The descriptions were good, but you seemed to use the semicolon or a dash in some places where a comma would be more appropriate, and the story was a little flat because you were telling us what the characters were feeling. Otherwise, this was a good beginning- keep writing!
It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language — Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey