Young Writers Society

As Carter turned his ice cream cone upside-down, the lack of gravity seemed to cause it to fall down in slow motion as it slowly free-fell in the air towards the ground. One look around, and Carter and Hildegarde could see that everything else seemed to be going in slow motion as well. One monkey playing volleyball was coming in for a slow spike, and some other animals were slowly splashing in the ocean and running though the sand.

"Boooo!" Hawaiian-shirt-wearing K.K. said in the distance with two thumbs down. At least, they looked like thumbs down. Dogs don't really have paws.

"This round is boring. Let's spice it up, shall we?"



A vanilla cream cone suddenly appeared in one paw, and he give it a big lick. "Mmm, ice cream is a delicious doggy trick. It'd be a shame if anyone drops a nice cold cone on a hot summer day." He grinned. "And that's exactly the new rule: drop any ice cream you have, and you're forced to take a shot! And don't forget to keep talking in questions!"

Suddenly time started to speed up back to normal, and all the animals around them turned to look at Carter and Hildegarde while reaching behind their back to pull out an ice cream gun.

Right when time returned to normal and Carter's dropped ice cream was midway through the air to be dropped on the ground, all the animals around them shot their first shot to pelt them with a scoop of strawberry ice cream.

As much enjoyment as Lordy already got from watching others suffer in his place, his joy increased exponentially when a cone manifested itself in his hand as the big dog yapped away at Carter and Hildy.

Lordy raised an eyebrow at the ice cream that began to pile into the cone. He sniffed it and eyed it with great curiosity, only smiling when he realized the gem that had been delivered to him.

"Is this..." He took a small lick of the perfectly round scoop of heaven that lay atop its crunchy foundation and smiled with glee, "Rum and raisin?!"

As things seemed to move in slow motion, Carter was on his toes, trying to keep up with the new rules K.K. was telling them out of boredom. He'd have to roll with the punches, even if the new rules were explicitly made because of an action he was in the middle of doing.

As soon as things started to speed up again, he swooped his hand under the falling glob of "ice-cream" and caught it back in the cone. It started melting a little down the sides, but it didn't fall. As he leaned forward to catch it, though, a cold, sticky glob of icecream pelted his shoulder.

"The fuck?"

It was still a question. That qualified.

He used the ice cream cone in his hand and stacked the scoop that hit his shoulder on top of the other scoop. Yes, it was disgusting, and yes, it was messy, but neither of the scoops hit the ground.

He then got on the ground, and tilted the chair he was sitting in on its side to use as a shield.

"Who just changes the rules mid-game like that?" he scoffed.

Jerica was still mildly traumatized from her round.

Could she stop talking in questions now? Mel and Lordy seemed to be getting away with it, but it seemed the devil dog didn’t actually care about rules or any semblance of fairness, so she wasn’t taking any chances.

Especially now that she had yet another thing forced into her hand without her consent. She almost threw it down, but then listened to the rules, and was still entirely unsure whether the rules applied to any of the audience. She sure wasn’t going to take any chances. There was also no chance in hell she was going to eat anything the monster gave her. That reduced her options, but she had to try.

She held the ‘i scream’ out to Lordy. “Want another?”

"Is that..." Lordy looked in Jerica's direction as she held her cone out to him, "Strawberry?"

Lordy fake gagged. He shooed away the filthy excuse for a flavor and turned his attention back to his poster child of depression cravings. "Now this is what you call ice cream."

Well. It was worth a shot.

Ice cream. She wouldn’t be opposed to screaming just then, but apparently that wasn’t what this game was about.

She turned towards Mel. “How about you?”

Like all the other contestants, Mel was also given a random ice cream cone that appeared out of thin air. She'd have been surprised that things seemed to materialize out of nothing if it were not for the fact that there was a talking humanoid dog that was casually leading this gameshow.

As Lordy and Jerica bickered beside her, she stared at the ice cream cone in question, trying to decide what it was, exactly. It was beige with some kind of topping, and it was slowly melting in her hands. Was it sweet? Savory? Delicious?

Well, one way to find out!

She gave it a big lick and her eyes lit up. Just in time, Jerica leaned over and asked her what flavor she had. At least, that was what she thought she asked. She barely paid attention.

"Honey and hazelnut!" she said excitedly. This time she took a chomp out of it, leaving remnants of an ice cream trail around her lips. She chewed through the nuts, but then scrunched up her face. "Ueeeggghhhh... it's so... COLD..."

Lordy giggled as Mel succumbed to the frost of the dairy delight. He shook his head as he pulled a small metal spoon out of his inner coat pocket.

"Ladies please, a treat like this require some class."

He dipped his spoon through the top of the ice cream and brought it to his lips, sucking up the small bit of sweetness he had allowed himself. He knew that it was best for him to take his time, lest he fall victim to greed and gluttony.

"Would you all like spoons as well?"

Jerica looked at Lordy wearily. Of course the weirdo would randomly be carrying around three spoons in his pocket instead of something useful, like a back up flask. That, or he was just gonna be like WeLl ThEn YoU sHoUlD hAvE bRoUgHt OnE if they said yes.

She sighed again and looked down at the disgusting mess that was beginning to trickle its cold nastiness down her fingers. It was so unpleasant. She contemplated, again, just throwing it down. Then eyed the devil dog and decided against it.

Instead, she leaned forward and rested her right elbow against her knee, tucking her feet backward, and did her best to angle her arm so that the vile liquid you only drip over her hand and fingers and not get on the rest of her as it melted in the cone. Then she resigned herself to her fate and looked towards the stage, pretending that the ice cream in her hands didn’t exist and certainly wasn’t upsettlingly getting all over her hand, and looked on with big ‘this is fine’ energy.

Mel watched Lordy spoon some if the ice cream as her brain started to unfreeze. Well, it made sense now why it was called ice cream. Although, she didn't realize frozen cream tasted so good. Not that she even really had access to a lot of dairy products, anyways.

"You know what I want instead?" she said, eyes staring at his cone instead. "A taste of yours. You can bite mine if I bite yours."

She wanted to ask for Jerica's too, but the pink looked weirdly unpleasant with it dripping everywhere.

Lordy scoffed, "Trade my delicacy for some of that... did you say caramel?"

His mouth began watering at the thought of chocolate's next of kin being on his dinner plate.

"Well I mean, I don't suppose a bite would hurt." He passed Mel a spoon and his cone as he swapped with her, being careful not to let any of the liquid gold go to waste.

Dipping his spoon into the now slightly melted ice cream, he allowed himself a more hefty serving so he could truly enjoy the moment. Once he allowed the ice cream to grace his lips he let out a sanctimonious mmMMM̶̨̱̝̯̌̃̓̃̕͝M̷͉̝̐̅M̵̨͉̤͇͓̋́́̔̍͝M̶̨̨̢̧̧̦̙̬̣̩̮͍̤̬͇̟̺̟̙͙̙̗͖̳̣̫͍̄̿͂̿̋̇̏̈́́͗̚M̴̨̧̨͙͈͕̤̭̟͍̦͎̤̳͕̯͚̙͓̯̻͔̬͖̫͖͕͙̑̎̽͂̿͗̉̌͐͑̅̂̈́̆́̒̈́͗͐́͗̈̈́̔͒̓̚̚̕̚͘̕͠ͅM̵̧̢̡̨͈̱͇̫̘͖̪̯̪̦̦͇̹̯̪̦̘̮̖̙̥̞̂̍̋̊͆̄͒̄̀͑̎̑̽́̔͆͑́͂͗̅͆͒̕͜͜͝.

After the demented dog announced the impromptu rule change, Hildegarde quickly noticed that the other contestants had their own "ice cream" — and several of them were eating it with apparently no ill effects. Her own "ice cream" was doing fine, though it was starting to melt and run down her arm. Maybe she should at least try it —

Whack. Something cold and wet and sweet smacked Hildegarde in the mouth, and permanently removed her choice about whether or not to try KK's "ice cream." It was like nothing Hildegarde had ever tasted before, deliciously creamy and cool, but with a strange flavor that was far too sickly sweet. If Hildegarde had had a few minutes for a round of free association, her mind may eventually have wandered to the fresh strawberries she used to pick in her neighbor's fields.

The ice cream slid off her face and almost hit the floor, but Hildegarde caught it at the last second. She glared at the audience. "Why... ?" she said, so flatly it wouldn't have counted as a question, until she remembered to upswing it at the last second.

Three more ice cream scoops soared past, one of them narrowly missing the half-knitted cardigan she had half-stuffed into one of her many pouches. Hildegarde gritted her teeth. She was sick of this. It was time to try something quite possibly stupid.

"Don't you folks know," she said, plopping the second scoop on her cone like Carter and ignoring how gross and sticky her hands were, "just how unmannerly it is to throw your food?"

She touched spectacles around her neck. The eye etched on the left lens flashed with golden light as Hildegarde whispered a few incomprehensible words, making sure to add a few extra syllables with an upswing at the end. Would it be enough to fool the dog? She didn't know. But the glowing light coalesced into a shimmering Shield of Faith and hovered in the air in front of her, ready to intercept any ice cream missile.

Roleplay Realm magic is a finicky thing. It seems that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes it be. It comes from an mysterious origin, but some speculate that it originated from the chaos of the universe. Perhaps they were right.

But maybe it was not the Roleplay Realm magic but instead the botched spell with questions instead of commanding statements that resulted in Hiledegarde's Shield of Faith be Shield of Ice Cream.

A giant shield-shaped ice cream scoop appeared in her hands, indeed protecting her from a few ice cream pellets, but immediately melting and oozing towards the floor.

Carter looked on in confusion and disgust as Hildegarde summoned an ice-cream shield.

"Did you mean to do that?" he asked, ducking again behind his chair as another ice-cream scoop went flying.

Right when Hildegarde was about to get pelted by more ice creams and drop her goopy melted mess of an ice cream shield, the clock struck zero and the round was over.

A yellow curtain draped over the stage, hiding the ice cream beach setting, and hiding the view from the audience. Thanks to some RP Realm magic, however, the curtain then turned to a wall. A yellow wall.

Music started to blare from the speakers.





K.K. Slider said, sounding eerily like Billie Eyelashes.


He brushed himself off, giving Tom Nook the stoic guard next to him a glance before walking across the stage and gesturing across the audience.

"We finished our silly puns, we spoke in questions, and now we move on to round three. But first, our contestants for this round!"

All the contestant's chairs from the backroom started to spin out of control towards the center of the stage until it slowed to a stop under their respective neon group number signs.

GROUP ONE: Simon. Hildegarde.
GROUP TWO: Mel. Jerica.
GROUP THREE: Carter. Lordy.

K.K. spun to the front of the stage, putting his paws out as the audience cheered, and he waited for them to simmer down.

"Now, you're probably wondering what this round is about," he said. "But what if I told you that it was revealed more than three weeks ago?"

He gestured behind him as a projection then appeared, showing an image.



"Fantastic question, audience member veeren," K.K. said as he started to pace around the stage, still wearing the yellow jumper. "Why don't I show you?"

The projection disappeared and instead revealed a flickering text file.



The projection then zoomed in closer.

And closer.

And closer.

ENHANCE.




To one sentence in particular.




"SIKE. You've guessed it, folks!" K.K. said with a smirk. "Or rather, it's been predicted already. It's the --

ROAST THE MOST!

-- round!"

The audience cheered, and K.K. posed and danced to the music until they stopped.

"Each round, the contestants are expected to roast their partner to the best of their ability," he said. "The more savage the roast, the better the round -- and the more likely they'll be voted to stay in! That's right, we're bringing back losers. After each round, there will be a voting period in the OOC thread to vote for the winner (or loser, whatevs) of the round. The person who says the weakest roasts will be subjected to a HUMILIATION ROUND! And trust me, it won't be roasted pies."

K.K. grinned and stood high on the podium.

"Let's begin! But first, let me hear you say it!" K.K. chirped.

"WHO WILL SURVIVE ANOTHER ROLEPLAY REALM GAMESHOW?" everyone except the contestants said at the same time, this time more in unison. Sort of. It was a little better this time.

"Let's begin with Group One!" K.K. said, and everyone's seats except Simon and Hildegarde's zoomed back to the backstage.



The music slowly faded as the stage floor suddenly magically morphed to something new --



Simon and Hildegarde were now standing on top of a giant grill.

"Welcome to the roast stage," K.K. said on top of a high podium. "The more savage your roast, the more fires will come up on the side! And if you BURN your opponent, they'll be tickled by FLAMES!" He coughed and looked at the camera. "Thegameshowisnotresponsibleforanydeathsorinjuries." He coughed again. "Did I mention the fire is all magic and won't hurt you? Anyways, the five-minute countdown starts NOW!"

The bell rung three times, and a giant countdown appeared across the stage.