Journal Entry Two
10/5/01
Aulani
My hands are shaking, the sweat is pouring down my face. I lay in the middle of the class room staring off into the endless white. I hear them whispering things about me, I see the teacher on the phone calling for help. I am helpless though. A crowd begins to form around me; the door to the classroom opens as the school nurse comes rushing in with a wheelchair. My vision becomes blurred as their voices start to fade away. Nothing is registering….nothing. I know I am not in a dream, my body feels pain coming from my stomach. I feel the strong urge to vomit my insides out. What would the guys think if I did? I’d be the laughingstock of the whole school. The pain coming from my stomach continues to get worse; to my side the nurse lifts me up and places me on the wheelchair making sure I will not fall out as she pushes me out of the class, down the corridor.
I am scared, again just as in my dreams I’ve become paralyzed. My brain is sending signals to my body to move but nothing will register. I try to speak but nothing comes out. My eyes become heavy and my heart beat starts to slow down enormously. I can feel the reddish liquid called blood flow through my veins like water through a tube. Is this the end for me? Am I about to die? I’ve never felt this way before in my life. The pain is too much to bear. I am frightened like a little girl having a nightmare about the monster in her closet. I feel tears stream down from my eyes, my body starts to convulse. I am crying mentally, trying to get out of this horror that controls my body. I am no longer able to hear anybody speaking. My eyes continue to grow heavier, finally shutting on me as I black out….
I’ve seen him before, from a distance he looks athletic, the boy from my dreams. His jet black hair reflects off of the sun. I try to approach him, slowly taking steps toward him. He faces the opposite direction toward the everlasting body of water in front of him. The sand from the beach cuddles between my toes every time I lift my feet off the ground to take another step. I am finally close enough to reach out toward him. With one motion my right hand extends toward his shoulders as I grasp hold of him. A minute passes before anything happens; he says not a single word. Not a single movement comes out of him. Before I am able to move up and get a closer look at him, I am pulled away by an unknown entity…
I awake to the pain of the nurse slapping my cheeks causing me to bite against my tongue. She yells my name as my eyes open and my body is free to move. Surrounding me is my parents and school faculty. The nurse shines her flash light into my eyes, she checks my temperature, checks my blood pressure. Almost everything comes out good. “How are you feeling dear? I am sorry I had to slap you but it seemed that it worked because here you are!” I raise my hand up to feel my cheek; it burns from the slap mark. “Its….it’s okay. How long was I out for?” The nurse walks away from the bedside as my mother approaches me; I can tell she has been crying. My father stands behind her with a clam but nervous look on his face. “You were out of it for almost 12 minutes angel. EMS will be here soon to take you to the hospital.”
Although I know it probably isn’t necessary for me to go to the hospital I have no choice. While I wait I think about him, who is he and what significant meaning is he? I know in all my heart that I must find him.
~~~Aulani~~~~
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