A/N: The "Mutts" pieces don't have to be read in any particular order. They are all written in the same world, but involving different characters, POVs and situations.
4/11/09
023 - Lovers
I had come to the realization during basic training that I didn’t love Todd as much as I thought I did. And when I told him that, the way he tried to laugh me off as being silly only convinced me further of the fact that I wasn’t in love anymore.
“Todd, you can’t come here,” I told him. “If you get caught in the female barracks, you’ll be in trouble.”
“What are they going to do? Kill me? Castrate me? There are too few of us for them to do anything to me. And I had to see you.”
He moved closer to me and put his hands on my waist. It felt nice and yet I knew I that I didn’t love him any more. I didn’t know if I ever had.
“You need to go, “ I said, pulling his hands away from my hips and pushing him back towards the window he had come through.
“How can you say that? We go on patrol tomorrow. This might be our last night.”
“Todd, I mean it. Leave.”
He stuck out his lip, pouting, trying to tease me. It was one of those things that had always annoyed me, but that I thought I loved. Now it was just annoying and that was it.
“Don’t you love me?” he asked in a little cub whimper. I bit my lip. I might have been convinced of the truth, but it still hurt to have to say.
“No. I don’t think that I do.”
He paused at that, as if trying to comprehend exactly what I said.
“That’s mean, Tika, saying something like that. If you want me to go, I’ll go.”
“I’m not just saying it. I mean it, Todd.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I had a lot of time to think these past few weeks. We’re not good for each other.”
“Tika, how… How can you just suddenly make up your mind about this?”
I had missed him so much. Everywhere I looked, I had seen something that reminded me of him. And yet, I found that those things that reminded me the most of him were the things that were the things he did the most often and the things I did not like. The way he had to win every argument, like the leader of our squad, who was right because she said so and that was it. The way he laughed at me for asking questions that he thought were foolish, like the female across the hall from me in the barracks.
It hadn’t been a sudden realization at all, but a very long, drawn-out and uncomfortable one. But I was certain of it. It was still painful though.
“Tika… We were going to get married. Don’t you remember? When the war was over, we were going to get married.”
“No, Todd. I know we promised… This war is never going to be over, Todd. And even if it did end, I can’t.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
He didn’t look at me, just breathed hard through his nose for a while. Then he climbed out of the window and ran away. I watched him until I couldn’t see him anymore in the complex, then I curled up in my bed and cried.
The next morning, we went out on patrol. It was my first time. My squad leader handed me a blowgun and a mirror and pointed at where I was supposed to go and that was it. My backpack had food and
water in it and I was supposed to return when the sun was two hands above the horizon.
It didn’t occur to me that he would try to find me until he did. I almost shot him as he suddenly appeared not too far away. I had been looking and smelling for human.
“Tika,” he said, holding his palms out, exposing his belly and neck carefully in submission when he say my blowgun at the ready.
“Don’t scare me like that,” I hissed at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I just wanted to talk to you again, to see if you had changed your mind.”
“No, I haven’t. Go away, Todd. I have to keep watch and you’re not doing your job. What would happen if the humans come into your area when you weren’t there?”
“I just…”
“No. Go now.” And then I bit his hand as he reached for me. He yelped and clawed at my face, stumbling back with bleeding fingers. He looked at it as if he couldn’t believe it was his, then looked at me as if he couldn’t believe I had done that. Tears were rising in his eyes as he spat on the ground in front of me and then ran away. I watched him until he was out of sight, but this time I did not cry.
It was hot. Our colony was in the desert, where the humans’ heatseeking missiles didn’t work. Over the mountain range to the east was plains with antelope and water, but the humans always come over the deserts. Wun said it was because they have a base in the desert, but I don’t know if it’s true or, if it is, how he knows that. It didn’t matter; that was always where they came from.
It couldn’t help but worry about Todd. He always did stupid things when he was upset. Another thing about him I realized that I didn’t love.
So distracted with worry, I almost didn’t notice the flashes from a signal mirror. Nearly two kilometers in front of me, someone was running and flashing a mirror. Three quick, then one, then three. Humans, only three kilometers ahead of the signaler. I turned frantically and began signaling towards the complex, about two kilometers behind me. Three quick, two quick, three quick, two quick. Five kilometers ahead of me, so about seven kilometers from the base. We had about eight minutes, tops, if they had dragons.
As single flash came from the complex. They knew. They would evacuate. Now I had to get back. I could only hope that all the other patrols had seen the flashes. There was no time to warn them. I began to run.
Then I heard my name.
“Tika!”
I turned. It was Todd, far behind me, signaling mirror in hand. As he ran, the mirror threw out flashes all around him as his arms pumped. It was turning him into a beacon, pointing out his location to the humans.
“Todd, put your mirror away!” I yelled at him, praying that the humans weren’t close enough to hear me yet. Tod wasn’t. He didn’t put the mirror away. Hadn’t he learned anything in training?”
I wanted to stay. I wasn’t in love with him, but I still cared about him. He was going to get himself killed. But I couldn’t, not without exposing myself. I had to make it back to the complex before they collapsed the tunnels.
“Tika!” I heard him shout again. It was so teeny, so far away. But I could hear him and I could see him, so the humans probably could too.
I knew it was going to happen, but I still didn’t believe it when I saw Todd suddenly fall to the ground. I couldn’t stop. I kept running. Seconds later, I heard the report from the gun that had killed Todd. My vision went blurry with tears as I ran.
I arrived just as the last few civilians were going into the tunnels. I saw Wun at the entrance. As I went by, he pulled the battered lever by the entrance. Now we had thirty seconds before the tunnels detonated. Five minutes before the humans would arrive.
Despite containing so many bodies, all stinking with fear, the tunnels were very quiet. Everyone was trying to get as deep as possible before the explosions because as soon as the tremors stopped, we would have to be absolutely still for three days. But there was more room for error lower down.
Twenty seconds. I picked up a cub that fell and threw him onto my shoulder. Ten seconds. I was behind nearly everyone, but there were still some behind me. I put on an extra burst of speed. The cub was light, but his emergency water bottle was thumping against my back painfully. Five seconds. Four. Three. Two. One.
I was almost knocked over as the tunnels above us collapsed. I heard someone scream who had been caught in the rubble. I hefted the cub and kept running. I had to get as far as I could before the ground became still. After that, we would have to be still to avoid detection for three days. After that, we would try to make our way to the next colony at the end of the tunnel.
The cub was crying. I put my hand over his mouth to shush him and he did quiet, though tears still rolled down his face. He was a strong cub.
The quaking was stopping. I took four more steps, extending my legs as far as they would go, then stopped short. Lightly, carefully, I set the cub down. He lay down against the wall, cradling his head with his arm. Yes, a strong cub. He knew what to do in the tunnel.
I couldn’t see or hear them, but I could smell someone ahead of us by about two meters. They smelled strongly of fear. We all did.
I lay down next to the cub, my body curled around his to keep us both warm. I thought of whoever had gotten crushed and I cried silent tears. I thought of our home, destroyed up above and I cried. But I was alive and so was the cub and so was everybody ahead of us. We would come out of the tunnels filthy and hungry, but we would live. I thought of Todd, who I didn’t love and who had died knowing that, and I cried.
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A/N: Well, it's been a while since I'd written one of these, so I thought I'd try writing one the other day. It set me off on a spree of inspiration: 2 full stories so far in the "Mutts" series and a bunch of writing on other projects! Yay me!
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