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Young Writers Society


Day In, Day Out



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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 3
Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:36 am
SilverQuill says...



This is just a short short story (a mini story, really), that just sort of popped into my head. I don't have much practice with sci-fi, so I hope it's okay.


The hot suns glared down at the foreign ambassador. William Chandler of Terra was unused to the intensity of three stars in the sky, and was sweating through his suit. His helmet chafed his neck and the recycled oxygen inside was hard to breathe. He rushed to the embassy building in the city of Juil. Removing his helmet, he relished the fresh air of the simulated atmosphere as he met his fellow dignitaries.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. “Sorry I’m late. Traffic was killer.”

Reis of Saturn greeted him with a smile and a wave; those from the same solar system had to stick together. She announced, “Now that we’re all here, we can get down to business. Hilqui, I believe you said you wanted to start this meeting?”

The ambassador from the Cygnus Arm of the Milky Way stood and shuffled his papers briefly. “Thank you Miss Reis. I would like to discuss the Trifidians treatment of our refugees. When they offered to help control the violence by sheltering our evacuees we assumed they would actually be sheltered, rather than beaten and starved.”

The Trifidian representative shouted, “This claim is ridiculous! We treat them as we have treated your people for millennia.”

Hilqui frowned and accused, “Then clearly there’s something wrong with that as well.”

William sighed; another issue that he had nothing to do with. The United Galaxies had been a good idea on paper, but was essentially useless in practice. He dozed, imagining the vacation he was taking to Venus in a few weeks. Nothing but beautiful skies and even more beautiful women.

A bell rang, startling him out of his reverie. It was time for break already. He joined Reis at a table and said, “Do you ever feel like we’re nothing more than a blip in the universal radar? That there’s something more out there?”

She laughed and said, “You humans have been asking that question as long as you’ve been around. On Saturn we have a little saying: ‘Quit daydreaming and get back to work.’”

“They sound like wonderful people, I’m sure,” he said sarcastically.

Reis laughed and playfully twined a tentacle around his neck. “Don’t worry, I feel the same way sometimes. A little existential crisis never hurt anyone.”
Everything is ruined forever.
  





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Wed Apr 09, 2008 6:37 pm
mizz-iceberg says...



Nice. This showed creativity as I've haven't ever really read anything quite like like this before. Well written!!

I didn't really notice anything wrong with this. I like the light humor and again this was very creative. I think you can stretch this out and add a bit more to the story and make this a nice long short story!

I hope you do. If you write more, PM me.
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
--Ellen DeGeneres
  





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Thu Apr 10, 2008 5:50 pm
Prosithion says...



Often times in Sci-fi stories and novels, authors tend to use multiple stars about which planets will orbit. This is actually an impossibility. The gravity of twin suns would tear a planet apart, long before life could evolve. Likewise, the suns would be tearing each other apart, so that whole region of space would be very unstable. Three suns couldn't possibly exist. Another thing about the multiple sun theory, is that all of that heat and radiation that the suns cause naturally would bake a planet, whilst it is being shredded. So you see the dilemma of having multiple suns?

You mentioned Saturn. I assume you mean our Saturn? Not only does Saturn have a very lethal and mortiferous atmosphere, but since Saturn is such a large planet, it's gravity would crush a human. Any life that would evolve on Saturn would not be an oxygen breather, and would have to be extraordinarily light and thin.



Hope I helped,
Pros
"wub wub wub wub. Now Zoidberg is the popular one."

"Computer... Captain's musk"
  








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