Young Writers Society

TIME TRAVEL IS PRETTY COMPLEX STUFF (loop)

speaks, and Gabriel knows what he's going to say. The chair is still there, though. So is the fly. He has been through this before. In front of him is Charlie, sweating. And the chair feels so cold, and hard, and Gabriel feels like he’s been sitting here forever. People move around the room, and Gabriel knows what they’re doing, and where they’re headed. How does he know? He thinks of saying something, but Charlie speaks. Gabriel mouths the words coming out of the guy’s mouth. The fly buzzes away.

It’s hard to explain. “This might be painful. It’s hard to explain.”

Gabriel nods; he’s heard it all before. He stares at one of the four metal poles around the chair. It’s glowing. He tries to move his arm, but he can’t. Then he remembers. He doesn’t know exactly when, but they gave him drugs. They said he wouldn’t be able to handle it without the drugs. Time travel is pretty complex stuff. Another one of the poles lights up. One of the scientists screams: “Four minutes!” but Gabe feels like it was “One minute!” four hours ago. Charlie keeps speaking, dead-pan, explaining things Gabriel has already heard.

“When you get back, we’ll have a team ready. You’ll be in that room. There’s a bunch of us there, waiting for you. They’ll give you some pills to calm you down, ease you out of the shock, and then they’ll let you out of the room in about three minutes, when you are already gone. This you, I mean.”

Gabriel has already asked this question: “So, I’m in that… I’m in that… So, I’m in that room already? Like…”

“Two minutes!”

Charlie smiles, confident. The third pole has lit up. “Maybe. I have to tell you, I’m really excited about this. You imagine the…? Oh, Jesus. I hope it’s not painful, we’ve tried our best. But remember, when you get back, we’ll take care of you. We know exactly where you’re going.”

Gabriel knows the fly comes next. It lands on his hand, and nobody notices it. Gabriel tries to move his finger, but the drugs won’t let him. It’s strange. He can move his eyes, and talk, but the rest of his body is shut down. Maybe he isn’t here at all. Charlie stands up, and nods, solemn.

“Good luck, soldier.”

The fly is still there. When Charlie walks away, it’s still on his hand. Gabriel knows something will go wrong, but he isn’t exactly sure what it will be. His head hurts. Oh, God. His head hurts. And the fourth pole lights up. And he’s sitting on the chair he’s been sitting for at least a thousand hours, and the seat is made of metal, and it’s cold. And the floor beneath him is full of wires, and pipelines, and the four poles stand ominously around him. People rush all over the place, but he can no longer hear them. He feels like he’s never heard them. And there’s white coats, and a countdown. And a light. And he feels the electricity running up and down his body.

And it is painful. But he’s felt this pain before.

Time travel is pretty complex stuff. There’s a ringing in his ear. The fly is still in his hand. And he closes his eyes, and hears Charlie again. This time, though, it feels different. He thinks there may have been a problem. And the chair is still there. And Charlie. And the fly. And Charlie

Oh god no!

I can think of no worse torture then that. I mean, it is so easy to cause physical pain but I credit you, Icaruss with coming up with the most horrible torture concept ever. And in horrible I mean your writing was fantastic and the story was brilliant (like the majority of your other work I think; *bestows lifetime achievement award*) but the thought of being in such a horrid cycle for eternity...

*shudders*

Congrats, you have connected to your reader. Now please tell me how this guy escapes!

Wow! That was REALLY good! I agree with smorgishborg.

That was really neat with the loop! And it was really well written too, I liked it a lot. =D I love reading about time traveling, it's so mind boggling, I agree with the title 100%

Hey Icaruss. ^_^

Oy, that was clever. And it makes perfect short fiction. The hint of something odd, with the way the first sentence begins keeps one interested in finding out why 'til the end.

People move around the room, and Gabriel knows what they’re doing, and where they’re headed. How does he know?

He thinks of saying something, but Charlie speaks. Gabriel mouths the words coming out of the guy’s mouth. The fly buzzes away.

It’s hard to explain. “This might be painful. It’s hard to explain.”

I might paragraph the above--as I have. The ideas are different, and there's a natural shift there of subject.

Perhaps italicise, 'it's hard to explain', yes? I mistook it for referring to 'How does he know?' Unless you mean it to refer to both. ^_^ Er, would be rathe clever again.

[ Managing the known/not known/happened before bit... ]

Ah, and these are thoughts, simply. But I wonder that if he knows it all so well, does he have to respond the same way?

And is he living the past now, as if it's present? And if he's done this before, has he got memories of what went wrong? Or has it all stopped before he quite knows what's happened, and so he ends up in the same place, same time, not quite sure how he knows?

There were points where the 'He'd heard it before' sort of interjections seemed to explain something that hadn't been described or shown. Though just the same, they seemed apt.

He had heard it before. He knows it will always be the same?

And added conflict, I think, would be whether he has that spark of hope that this time, something would go right. Yet, in light of its brevity, it may not be able to or necessary to touch on much of that. As it was, it webbed itself tight enough to be convincing, and I enjoyed it, da? It was worth the read. ^_^




IMP [ Courtesy of the Cabassi ]