Young Writers Society

Ok guys, here'a rough sketch. Sponson, Bobo, I need you guys here; what should I do before I ink this thing?

You're amazing. I just wanted to put that in writing.

Oooh... the mask and just general drawing looks like a character that I tried to draw once... Personally, I failed with my attempt, but this drawing is just amazing. Not sure if I can help though.. um.. the sword in the back looks a bit odd but that may just be me; I'm just looking for anything that might help you..

How do you start? Do you do the whole stick/line-drawing first, or do you just start drawing the main body?

Sponson will probably be able to pick things out better than I can, but here we go. First off, I don't think that's a mask--so you'll need to draw a face. If it is a mask, then designs are in order. Either way, I'm sure you had that planned already.

Now, to the real stuff. The pose is wicked, but it's thrown some of your anatomy off. I gotta give you HUGE props though, because I would have butchered that pose beyond recognition. Anyway, starting top down, the first thing wrong is the angle or her right hand (our left). you need to rotate it a bit so that the fingers are facing forward more, and the handle is just a smidgeon crooked upwards.

The shoulders look like the're rotated perpendicular to her torso somehow--I think it's with the way the clothes fold. Make sure that closer folds clearly overlap the folds in the back. Maybe Sponson can pick this out better... Also, her left shoulder (our right) looks like it's out of its socket. This is once again a problem with the hood, I think--make sure we can see the shape of her shoulder underneath the folds.

Going out a bit, her elbow looks... upside-down. Little less on top, little more on bottom. Unless she has a broken arm or something.

Going on down, the breasts look... odd. Her right (our left) looks bigger, and if that's a nipple I think it's too low. Of course, I'm far from an expert on this, but that's the hunch I'm getting.

Her back needs to show a hint of starting to curve back out right down where the sash covers her back. It looks like it's continuing to curve inward, when it should actually be going out again.

Getting to the bottom, her legs are sweetness personified, but I'm not so sure about her left foot (our right). I can't quite put my finger on how, but it looks disjointed.

On a final note, your clothing folds and hair makes me want to cry, they're so sweet, but somehow they seem too motionless, like she's hanging in air rather than jumping or something. There are a few spots that her clothes aren't even flowing to our left like they would be considering the way she's jumping and the way most things are flowing. The main thing I notice here are the sashes on her side, but the pants might have that problem, too--I can't quite tell.

Get this fixed up and inked, man, and you've got yourself a masterpiece!

Bobo got here first, and he did a good job critiquing. So I wont do as much because Im a lazy b*****d.

The hand furthest up, look at the angle of the hand, it seems you can only see the pinky. But the Hilt and the Sword are not drawn as the same angle as the hand. It seems like it was just drawn horizontally to the viewer.
Also the very same arm looks like it just jerked foward out of it's socket because of the angle of her body and the arm. I dont think you're suppose to see the armpit.

The motion of the person and the the way hair and clothing flow like bobo said is bleh. Try making it one direction.
From what it seems like she's "dancing to the left". Not "lunging to the right".
A pose like that can only be achieved if you're jumping from a higher area and itll only last a few seconds, so dont bring the legs so up high or so "exaggerated".

What Im saying is her left leg (our right) seems like its just flowing behind, no support for a kick or brace or anything. So its just there, much like how we run, we dont give a care about where our leg is behind us, but the leg in front finds the ground, so its more rigid and structured. And thats why she looks like she's runnin foward.

Of course, instead of fixing all those, you could just angle the torso towards the viewer a bit and not have it tilted so far.

As far as details go, Im sure you could add more. Chains and designs on the Hilt Guards, designs on the bra... etc.

Ah, yes, that's it--you need to see the armpit on her left arm, but not her right. Well, not so much need to see it on the left, but yeah. That's what the problem was. lol

I know what the problem with the pose is; The characteris the flying from our left to our right, whle the model was flying from our right to our left. Easily fixed.

Thanks guys, I'll work on it some more later.

The shoes look a little odd...

Nice, I like it a lot and it reminds me of belly dancers.

Going on down, the breasts look... odd. Her right (our left) looks bigger, and if that's a nipple I think it's too low. Of course, I'm far from an expert on this, but that's the hunch I'm getting.

Nah... the nipple isn't too low. The bigger the breasts, the lower your nipple tends to be. In fact, it's at the right spot because she's stretching out. If she were just standing there, I would suggest that you move the nipple a little bit lower.

But still... unless she has a bra that brings it out, she's probably not going to be showing any nipple at all. She moving and doing all this activity. She's warm. Therefore, she is not going to have a very prominant nipple at all.

Forgive me for sounding like a pervert, lol.

Anyway, the drawing's really sweet.

no face?!
the shoes look modern-not in flow with the rest of the dress
otherwise good.
she can't dance with2 swords!

Amazing work there. =]
Honestly, I wish I could say something else, but everything has really been said.
I would just say the feet look kind of awkward, but I can't talk... feet are the hardest to draw, along with the hands.
I love her outfit though, beautiful, and you're amazing with with the folds.
=]

Dude! it's been forever... you should draw more and I should too... I super suck and totally need the practice. And you're great, and should show off more, 'cause my walls are bare and my refrigerator is dull

You're amazing. I just wanted to put that in writing

tatally!
but, I think that the feet are a bit large...
so are the breasts, but that's my view on things...

She can dance with as many swords as she wants. I like it... so... yeah. I cant really see anything wrong.... everybody has complained about that already

Wow! That is really cool looking. I like how she's wearing a mask.

I think the hair should go up at the end, to mirror the two scarves around her leg. It looks like she's leaping downward, so it makes sence that the things trailing off her should go up. Or something. Sorry, I'm not doing a great job of this.

Her bra thing looks like it's made of a really hard, thick material, and yet you can see her nipple through it. If it's cloth, maybe you could add some wrinkles, and make it thinner on the edges?

The left shoe looks thicker than the right shoe.

I really like the chain on her hips, that looks really real. I also love her right hand, and her outfit. The way her pants are split is original.

Nice job, I bet this will look really awesome inked.