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Zeige



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Gender: Male
Points: 990
Reviews: 4
Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:07 pm
Zeige says...



One of the characters in my story not me



http://aolpictures.aol.co.uk/galleries/robpain/

okay hope that works now
-The Alpha-
  





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Gender: Female
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Fri Jan 05, 2007 12:43 am
Jennafina says...



I like your shading a lot.

I'm unsure about a lot of things though. There's a line that looks like stitches on the front of his chest. Is that supposed to be a scar, or is it to indicate muscles? (If it's for muscles, it's too high up, and too sharp.)

At first I thought his puffy sleeves were muscles, haha.) I like the wrinkle by his elbow on his right arm.

The excess of detail on his outfit and hair makes his face look simple, and cartoon-y. This is not because it's manga. I've seen manga with a range of detail. You just have to make everything match, or it looks incomplete. I'd give him some shading on his face, behind his nose, around his jaw, and his lips, and give him eyelashes, and a wrinkles in-between his eyes because he's frowning. Also, I'd add detail to the earring, because it's cool.

I think his ear is too small.

I like the eyebrows. The cross on his jacket needs to be thicker, I think, or it looks like it might be just a really strange stitch.

I really like his hair. That's the balance of manga with detail that I was trying to talk about. It's shaded, has depth and form, but it's still stylized.

Oh yes. Welcome to YWS. I hope to see more of your work sometime. :)
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Gender: Male
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Fri Jan 05, 2007 1:19 am
Zeige says...



Thanks for the crit i apriciate it my folks jus say 'yea thats great' and not tell me what i need to improve and yea i agree with what you said about the face the first couple of drafts of it the head was way too big for his body so i focused more on the body.

the cross on his jacket is a marker for a logo i didn't put in so i'll redraw it over the next couple days and post it again see if i can improve on him.

Thanks
-The Alpha-
  





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Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:33 am
Swires says...



There needs to be more facial detail, at the moment the face is a little apart from the body.

Apart from that, good sketch.
Previously known as "Phorcys"
Witherwings Harry Potter RPG
  





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Thu Jan 11, 2007 12:04 am
Zeige says...



okay i've shaded in his face and added more detail i also darkened the image with photoshop to bring out the lines and shading more tell me what you think of the new image

i've also added another picture i drew a while back so any comments on how to improve or any advice on technique much appreciated.

http://aolpictures.aol.co.uk/galleries/robpain/
-The Alpha-
  





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Thu Jan 11, 2007 4:27 am
Alteran says...



Done nicely. Better than anything i could have done. Good job and it's nice to know you can see and express your characters in more ways than one.
"Maybe Senpai ate Yuka-tan's last bon-bon?"
----Stupei, Ace Defective
  





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Gender: Male
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Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:32 pm
Zeige says...



thanks i have trouble drawing female characters usually, that is my only decent one, they always come like blokes
-The Alpha-
  








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