Young Writers Society

She hates me. She always has. I guess I should have known. I guess everybody was right. I was just too stubborn to see her for who she really was. Seven months, for seven months I carried this weight on my shoulders. I had wrestled with my emotions and driven myself almost to the brink of insanity. All I wanted was forgiveness. All I wanted was a second chance. All I wanted was honesty. All I wanted was to be understood and have my side of the story made clear to her. And all I got was rejection. I did not want her hand, I wanted her trust. Unfortunately, the trust she had in me had died the day I sent her that stupid facebook question.

I thought she had forgiven me, but apparently it was all bullshit. I wasn't surprised. She was a little overly sensitive and was a tad paranoid. I wasn't surprised that she hadn't really forgiven me. I was however, confused about how she found me "uncomfortable" ever since we met. Did she say that out of anger, or did she really find me as such? If so, that's a bitchy move on her part. She didn't even know me then, and she doesn't know me now, and she never will. She was playing with my head and my emotions all along. It makes me furious just to think about it. "Who the fuck does she think she is"! I almost wish I had the heart to expose the things that I bet she doesn't even think I know about her. To completely destroy her personally, but I don't.

I feel betrayed, but at the same time, I feel like I am finally at peace. It may not have been the answer I wanted, but like the old saying goes, sometimes the truth hurts. In the end, I really did do a majority of this to myself. However, I had hoped that she would have been a little more understanding and had not come across so coldly. I wonder what she meant when she said, "What are the offenses I hold against you? Mostly small ones, but irksome all the same." I guess I will never know. It would be interesting to know what creeps her out about me though. It may even be beneficial.

So, I guess I have gone a little mad. I still think of Samantha often. The only difference this time is that it no longer bothers me. I can walk away from this with a smile on my face. I now know the truth and the truth has set me free. As for Samantha, she'll have to live with what she said, just as I will have to live with what I did to her. Hopefully, one day she will finally come around and see that she can trust me. If not, then it was never meant to be. Sometimes conflicts don't fix themselves with time. It only gets easier.