Young Writers Society

Notes spilled softly from your guitar as we sat by the fireplace. The occasional pop of slowly burning wood added to the romantic essence of the music. I recognized the song you were playing and wished you'd sing too. You don't think it's true, but you really do have a good voice. However, you chose to hide anyway, like a timid child; and I found this endearing. I was sitting on the floor by your feet and as you looked down at me, I smiled. You looked perfectly angelic, love. The glow from the fireplace illuminated your face and gleamed off the old acoustic's varnished wood. We lingered in moments delicately suspended within the notes that fluttered from your guitar. I felt so lucky to have that. As I laid my head on your knee and snaked my arms around your leg, your sweet music poured over me like rain in the desert. I'd known the song ever since I could remember, but you breathed new life into it. You recomposed it, as you always do with the songs you play. I looked up at your fingers, marvelling at how perfectly they bent every string, how artistically they pulled the melody out of the intstrument. When you finished playing, I sighed and closed my eyes. "You okay?" you asked me, breaking the perfect silence that had enveloped us. I stared back up at you and nodded, high on the mixture of warmth from the fire and emotion from the music. "Yeah." I said, offering a weak smile. "I'm...Wonderful."

Notes spilled softly from your guitar as we sat by the fireplace. The occasional pop of slowly burning wood added to the romance of the music. I recognized the song you were playing and wished you'd sing too. You don't think it's true, but you really do have a good voice. However, you chose to hide anyway, like a timid child; and I found this endearing. I was sitting on the floor by your feet and as you looked down at me, I smiled. You looked perfectly angelic, love. The glow from the fireplace illuminated your face and gleamed off the old acoustic's varnished wood. We lingered in moments delicately suspended within the notes that fluttered from your guitar. I felt so lucky to have that. As I laid my head on your knee and snaked my arms around your leg, your sweet music poured over me like rain in the desert. I'd known the song ever since I could remember, but you breathed new life into it. You recomposed it, as you always do with the songs you play. I looked up at your fingers, marvelling at how perfectly they bent every string, how artistically they pulled the melody out of the intstrument. When you finished playing, I sighed and closed my eyes. "You okay?" you asked me, breaking the perfect silence that had enveloped us. I stared back up at you and nodded, high on the mixture of warmth from the fire and emotion from the music. "Yeah." I said, offering a weak smile. "I'm...Wonderful."

woah, this may have been short but it was hell of a good story ! It was damn romantic and could actually imagine that good job!

Notes spilled softly from your guitar as we sat by the fireplace. The occasional pop of slowly burning wood added to the romance of the music. I recognized the song you were playing and wished you'd sing too. You don't think it's true, but you really do have a good voice. However, you chose to hide anyway, like a timid child; and I found this endearing. I was sitting on the floor by your feet and as you looked down at me, I smiled. You looked perfectly angelic, love. The glow from the fireplace illuminated your face and gleamed off the old acoustic's varnished wood. We lingered in moments delicately suspended within the notes that fluttered from your guitar. I felt so lucky to have that. As I laid my head on your knee and snaked my arms around your leg, your sweet music poured over me like rain in the desert. I'd known the song ever since I could remember, but you breathed new life into it. You recomposed it, as you always do with the songs you play. I looked up at your fingers, marvelling at how perfectly they bent every string, how artistically they pulled the melody out of the intstrument. When you finished playing, I sighed and closed my eyes. "You okay?" you asked me, breaking the perfect silence that had enveloped us. I stared back up at you and nodded, high on the mixture of warmth from the fire and emotion from the music. "Yeah." I said, offering a weak smile. "I'm...Wonderful."

This is the best thing I've ever read. Wow!! It feels like I was there! Good job.

HHemayed wrote:The occasional pop of slowly burning wood added to the romance of the music.

"Romantic vibe" or "Romantic essence" might add a little to that section
Other than that, I also have nothing else to say in regards to critiquing this piece. As I've told you in the past, I absolutely love your work, and can't stop reading it! This is why, in my boredom as I sit in my bed fallen ill, I've decided to come and look your pieces to review them hahaha. Keep writing!