Me and SAm on this club made these up please don't take them unless you ask.
Rule #1 at the White House: If you are sensitive to your children viewing partial nudity, do not take them to the White House. The lawnmower guys usually take off their shirts in front of the fence (where the tourists are supposed to stand). I am not sure whether or not this is supposed to be a tourist attraction in itself, or what.
Rule #2 when at Williamsburg: Do not stare at the cute guys running down the street from William and Rule Mary’s. Even more important, do not feel sorry for them when they get run over by a carriage.
Rule #3 when at the capital: Do not stand directly in front of the Hawaiian statue. You will understand this better when you're in a coma 5 floors below after crashing through the floor.
Rule #4 when at the National Air and Space Museum: When at McDonald's, you must run if you want ketchup. It is the most popular museum in America, and as such, the ketchup runs out really fast.
Rule #5 when in Antarctica: When you are traveling to frozen Tundra be sure to bring mittens and not to tease the penguins. They know how to swim in -32F water and you don't. It goes the same with Polar Bears only they will chase you around and make you wish you were in -32F water.
Rule #6 in an airport It may be possible to take drastic measures to get through security quickly, smoothly, and as quietly as possible. Removal of: shirts, skirts, jeans, boots, high-heels, loafers, tennis-shoes, necklaces, earrings, nose-rings, tongue-rings and tongue, Rolex watch, flashlight, eye brows, wigs, packaged bacon, Michael Jordan, feet, eyeballs, left pinky toe, right index finger, cherry bombs, fire-crackers, salt crackers, cheese graters, President Nixon's tie, guns, knives, bibles, water guns, spray paint, spray glue, markers, frogs, French miniature poodles, rubber ducks, socks, nail polish, skin, pocket knives, any Garfield novelties, CD’s, videos, living proof that Osama Bin Laden is actually George Bush’s drinking buddy, your soul may be possible. You may keep chainsaws as take-on baggage.
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