Young Writers Society

It was a unremarkable cup in every way. It was not unique. The same cups were sold all over San Fransisco It was not in the least inviting to the eyes. Dull. The cup was white. It was a simple coffee cup. Chipped slightly. A few words inscribed on it's side in bold block letters. It sat tauntingly on his desk. Oh, how he longed to throw it away, to smash it more than even that. He took it in his hands gingerly. He meloncholenly examined the coffee stains and hairline crack that ran through the inside. He made as if to throw it, to be rid of the wretched thing forever. But his arm faltered and he set it down. "Coward" he scolded himself. But left it all the same. Horrid thing. It was a monster sometimes other times the devil. What cruel person would bring such a monstrous piece of work into the world? Sick joker. It had ruined his content and happy life. Who knew something as simple as a coffee cup could have such a big effect? He looked at the words written on the side one last time before getting up to refill it.

The upon the cup, less a cup as much as instrument of evil words, said "WORLD'S SECOND BEST DAD" in blue letters. His once dearly beloved partner had gotten "WORLD'S BEST DAD". Envy later ruined there happy marriage. His partner, Jed had gotten there kids custody for most of the week. All because of a stupid unremarkable cup his life was ruined. Oh cruel world! Oh even crueler cup!


get it? Oh i am sorry if this offends anyone not against gay marriage. Also it OK it has sort of a story right?

Interesting, good to see people going for the writing challenge.

My main problem with this is the choppy style; pretty much all of your sentances are short and end with a full-stop. It just means that there's no flow to it, it keeps starting and stopping. My advice to you is to use more punctuation; commas, semi-colons, that sort of thing. Turn your short, simple sentances into longer ones that are broken up a bit.

It may be just my perception of things, but I didn't think that "world's second best dad" mugs were sold in large quantities, not even around San Fran. It means that the first part seems a little silly, because actually, the cup is fairly rare.

You need to get your grammar right; sort out spelling an punctuation and stuff like that, and then possibly a good tactic would be to mess around with the opening to make it more realistic. That's all

It is completly fictional. No kid would do that. I know cup aren't sold like that, it is just that San Fran wuold be the best place. Thanks for the imput! I will take your words of wisdom into acount! What did i spell wrong?

Fictional doesn't mean it should be un-realistic. If it would never happen in real life, it probably shouldn't be in a real life type story.

meloncholenly

This isn't a word.

Envy later ruined there happy marriage.

It's "their"

Well then. I see someone hasn't been takeing there pills.
Other than the fact your insane, good job.