Young Writers Society

Yeah, so, just spoke to this really special guy for the first time in like two years, so...just felt like writing this. It's short, I know, but it's just everything I feel right now, just had to let it out xD I know it sucks.

I spoke to you today, just a simple hi. I didn’t expect you to reply, but you did. What’s up? Nothing much, you? Nothing; bored at home. Just a few meaningless words, empty chatter. And as you type your reply, I know now more than ever just how much it’s over. What we had is gone, is dead, is never coming back. Those conversations till seven in the morning? Over. Us arguing over rock and rap? Over. Aren’t you done with school? Yeah. So now university? Yeah. Cool! Where? These are not the questions I want to ask you. These are not the questions that kept me awake and in tears for countless nights. All I want to know is why. Why did you let something so beautiful die? Why did you leave without a word? Do you know that thanks to you, I’ll never be the same? Do you know how much I prayed and wished for it to heal? For this distance between us to disappear? Maybe the distance shouldn’t be crossed, you said. Tears fill my eyes, again. You never gave me a reason. There’s no reply. Every piece of me knows that was the last conversation we’ll ever have.

I almost cried when I read this, because I've felt the exact same thing. Those meaningless, empty conversations with the boy I loved- like nothing at all ever existed between us. You really let me feel your pain. I can see it in your writing.

The only thing you could improve would be the formatting aspect. The chat bits could be in italics, and each new person talking should be on a new line. This would help with clarity, so I know what's going on.

Fantastic writing. I'm very sorry for your pain.

RA

Hell, I was saddened by this. Just the thought that all good things come to an end. We all know that it must happen, but we never want to see it happen. This piece was short, concise, and straight to the point. Being this is an emotional piece that you wrote, I don't want to mess it up too much. What I would say is this: Although you wrote this to yourself (I assume), there are some unclear moments.

RebelAngel mentioned seperating the conversation, to which I can agree. But the line: "Why did you let something so beautiful die?" This is probably a symbol for the relationship that the two of you had. Someone may confuse it for something actually dying though. At least that's what I thought at first. The line: "For this distance between us to disappear" is a bit confusing as well.

I must mention, I loved the numerous ways you had for saying; "It's over". Each one had a tremendous impact, almost as if you were saying it in many different languages. Good luck.

Hey! That was really beautiful Price, and it was so sad. I hope you're okay...

I can totally understand why you wrote this and don't worry it really doesn't suck, not at all. We are writers and whatever we want to express, we express through writing about it. So, well done and after all this is the best way to express our emotions. I totally loved it.

Just something- You know when I read it it was like I was reading a poem and I think you can totally transform this into a poem. Just my opinion, it's all up to you though. But if you ever decide to make this into a poem, keep me posted 'cause I would love to read it.

xxx,
rooh...

I love it. You draw everyone into it in the begining. I think everyone feels that way when they've been dissapointed by the ones they love. Keep it up, your work is beautiful.