Mostly this was just getting things out of my system... but I thought I'd post it anyway...
I’ve been angry with you for so long. And now that’s all beginning to clear, because I’m beginning to see things clearly. I’ve forgiven you, for everything you did, because I understand now that the motives I saw were not the motives you had. The liar and traitor I thought I saw in you were really just my emotions getting in the way. So while my tears are no longer hot and flaming, they still flow, cold and apologetic.
Because you think that I’m something I’m not. And that tears me up inside, because if I saw the girl that you see when you look my way, I’d hate her too. I can’t be angry with you, because if I was what you thought I was, then you would have every right to say you say and do what you do.
But I can’t return your attacks anymore. I’m not the girl you think I am.
I see now, how it looked, to see me with your boyfriend all the time. I saw it then, too. I tried to back away. I stopped going over to talk to him, and only spent time with him if he came to me. I see now how that looked too, when I was too blind at the time to understand. You saw me walk away, and saw him follow. You saw me draw away from you and everyone else that he talked with, and reel him in.
You see a thief when you look at me, because he’s not yours anymore. I’m the one he calls every night and leaves with an “I love you”. I’m the one he runs to, and I’m the one he has said he cares about most. You see a thief, because I took him, the thing that you loved most in this world.
To you I am manipulative, lying, back-stabbing, deceptive. But I’m not the girl you think I am.
You won’t listen to me anymore. I don’t blame you. But I’m just now beginning to see how you saw everything I’ve done. And I’m trying to apologize. But you’re not listening, and I can’t speak loud enough to get past the walls that you’ve put up against me.
I’m not a thief! I’m not a liar! I’m not the girl you think I am! Is there no way to show you that?
I know it’s too late now. I know that we can never been friends again. But must we always be enemies because we both thought the other was something they weren’t? Don’t you realize that we both hated the same lying, betraying girl? The same girl that neither one of us was…
I’m not the girl you think I am.
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