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The Liberal-Fascist Party Manifesto

Sureal · 2006-09-08T18:47:51Z

Manifesto of the Liberal-Fascist Party ‘Make love, then war.’ Should we be elected the leader of the United Kingdom, we promise to make the following changes: 1) Everyone will be given far more social and political freedoms. Anyone who disagrees with this position will be shot. 2) Every man and woman will be given the freedom to vote for, or become a member of, any political party. They will, however, also be shot. 3) We aim to end one of the most disgusting crimes of our time - racism - by deporting anyone who is not white. 4) We will end the pension crisis by making retirement illegal. 5) Any man engaging in homosexual behaviour will be shot. 6) It will be required by law that all women engage in homosexual behaviour. 7) We will decreases taxes. Then increases them. Then decrease them again. Anyone who is confused by this will be shot. 8) The teaching of the theories of Creationism or Intelligent Design in Science classes will be punished with death. 9) Sex with anyone - and anything - will be made legal. Loving sex between two consenting men will still be illegal. 10) We believe in freedom of religion (but only if your religion happens to be Atheism). 11) The porn industry shall be censored. 12) Children’s television will not be censored in any form. 13) Any woman who seeks an abortion will be shot. 14) Anyone who is not patriotic will be shot. 15) Patriotism will be redefined as being ‘supporters of the Liberal-Fascist Party’. 16) We will build less prisons. Criminals will instead be shot. 17) We reserve the right to shot anyone for any reason. 18) And finally - and perhaps most importantly - we will increase the production of bullets. Vote for the Liberal-Fascist Party - the party of tomorrow!

ibelieve_inme

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Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:29 pm

ibelieve_inme says... · Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:29 pm

Humorous...yet expressive
nice

I open my mouth to sing, and you can see right through me.
I open my eyes to see, And I’m invisible
I look around me to take in my surroundings
And I disappear - And then the words begin...

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Luxor

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Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:34 am

Luxor says... · Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:34 am

Good stuff, Sureal, good stuff indeed.

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seeminglymeaningless

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Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:03 am

seeminglymeaningless says... · Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:03 am

loved everything but the racism one. . . . ^^

Vote Sureal, as he is So Real about our wants and need of our nation! Hoo-ha!

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MadHatter

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Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:34 pm

MadHatter says... · Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:34 pm

This made me crack up. Then I finished laughing. Then I read it again just to laugh some more.

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I’d heard he had started a fistfight in one of the seedier local taverns because someone had insisted on saying the word “utilize” instead of “use".
— Patrick Rothfuss, A Wise Man's Fear

The Liberal-Fascist Party Manifesto

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