Young Writers Society

She dared not actually speak - the combined presence of the deranged monk and the nasty little man with his body full of dead people dried up her voice and made her tongue stick to the roof of her mouth.

Can you say "ew"? It was meant to be "cart full of dead people" -- don't even ask why.

“I missed you,” Mary said, her voice muggled in the woman’s shoulder.

I didn't realize that "muggling" was a verb...How exactly does one "muggle" in any case? Does it have anything to do with mugging, or Muggles?

Mary’s heart was beating face.

That was supposed to be "fast." Does anyone else have an image of a disembodied heart beating someone around the head?

Mary looked at him in surprise. He did not speak of Meg with anything like the contempt that most of the clergy bestowed upon her foster mother - if anything, he sounded almost respectful. He caught her lip and grinned, looking suddenly much younger and friendlier.

*giggles* Apparently Mary has detachable lips which she throws at random young men. Nice to know...(seriously, what is it with this novel and the detachable body parts?)

Meg, bless her, was making as much noise as possible so that she didn't interrupt them at an awkward moment, and Mary gently disengaged herself from Tom's army.

BWAHAHAHAHA...I know Mary has a big heart and all, but I didn't know she was hugging an entire army. Also, where the hell did Tom get an army? Was he promoted to general while I wasn't looking? Last I checked he was supposed to be a blacksmith...

“Arek.” I said hesitantly, walking his face closely to see his reaction. He appeared to be completely normal, almost pleased.

O_o

So the guy's pleased that my MC just 'walked his face'...?

"No matter what, we have to shave her from Akshay."

Ohdear.

Then she bowed her head as a greatment and I did the same. We were at peace.

I just invented a new word...

“Wow I have a bother in law! That’s so awesome!” Cried Leah

A very bothersome bother in law.


EDIT:

Heres a new one that got me cracking:

“Your Mother was a good lad” Said my father, not unkindly.

I sure hope not...

"I kicked him underneath the table and sent him a soft glare. I glanced over at Jessica and she was pretty much in tears like a baby that was ripped away from it’s mother because it’s mother was a crack whore that just murdered the father brutally and unforgiving with something blunt but easily traceable."

After this I literally stopped writing and went to my friends looking for help because I knew I was over the edge.

I tried to calm down after getting reminded of my anger towards Raito (which, in some way, made me even angrier at him for making me angry at someone that I didn’t want to be angry at but I did at the same time.)

I was like.. "what am I even saying?"
I got confused. =/

I wish I could see what she was writing – write my own little account in it, so that she would know what we actually were thinking while she was writing what she thought we were thinking.

I should stop confusing myself in the form of Adrian's inner thoughts. Although that one made a little bit of sense, in a way, if you know what I'm talking about.
I think.

Coralie wrote:"I kicked him underneath the table and sent him a soft glare. I glanced over at Jessica and she was pretty much in tears like a baby that was ripped away from it’s mother because it’s mother was a crack whore that just murdered the father brutally and unforgiving with something blunt but easily traceable."

After this I literally stopped writing and went to my friends looking for help because I knew I was over the edge.

Haha that's brilliant =D