Young Writers Society

Seventeen-year-old Dorian is attractive, athletic, and extremely intelligent, but he suffers from chronic depression and is obsessed with thoughts of his own death. A masochist, he is driven by an almost involuntary compulsion to sacrifice himself for others. In this scene, he is standing on a rooftop overlooking the city.


DORIAN: It's cold up here. (Beat.) No, no; keep the jacket. You need it more than I do. Besides, it--it doesn't feel so bad. I mean, things never hurt quite as much when you know you're suffering for someone else, right? In fact, it feels . . . good.

I know what you're thinking. Poor little emo kid, sulking around on the rooftop all alone. Maybe he'll watch the sun rise and then cry himself to sleep. Well, I am here to watch the sun rise. Even now I think I can see a bit of light, right down there at the rim of the horizon. Only there are so many buildings here, and they're so tall . . . it's like they prolong the darkness. . . . But yeah, I came up here to think, I guess. I like being alone, sometimes. Not always. Sometimes I just want to be around people. Because they're so full of warmth, and life, and--they're so--so--vulnerable. Like children. Something about them, I just feel like I have to--to protect them, you know? Oh, what am I saying. . . . of course you don't know. Can't know. Like right now, you're probably listening to me and thinking, wow, this guy is crazy. And maybe I am. But then, they say you're only insane if you don't think you are. And I know I am. So I guess . . . in the end . . . I'm not.

Careful. You don't want to get too close to the edge. Here, let me walk on this side, just in case. I've actually wondered what it would be like to fall from such a great height. It'd be a rush, that's for sure. Imagine how fast you'd be going by the time you hit the pavement. No, I--I don't mean that. People seem to think I have some sort of death wish. Even my parents, they want me to get suicide counseling, or whatever it is. But it's not like that. I'm not afraid of death, like everyone else is. And I can see the beauty in it, when everyone else just sees darkness and decay. But it's not dying in itself, you see; it's the reason for dying. Because if I have one goal, one purpose, it's to give someone--whoever that person may be--the greatest gift I can give. My life. To die for someone. What better way is there to die? People live and die and never change anything, never do anything for anyone; but I won't be like that. My life means nothing by itself, but if I can give it in exchange for someone else's . . . then I won't have lived in vain.

That's what no one understands. Everyone is just so caught up in living and dying for themselves, they say I'm suicidal just because I see my death as something that can be used for the greater good. But you understand. I know you do, just by looking in your eyes. There are some people, not many, but a few, who have that look, who are different. There--there's nothing more beautiful in the whole world. And . . . truthfully . . . if I had to choose who I could die for, it would be someone who had that. It would be you.

Aw! I can't believe I'm the first one to review this! I admire your monolougue's, I really do Warrior Princess. My only issue with this is how Marie never speaks. Sure, this is a monolougue but if some guy was talking to me about suicide and trying not to fall off the roof. I'd at least mutter something, wouldn't you? Also, near the beggining when Dorian starts talking, it seems that he is just muttering to himself. If I were you, I'd give Marie a few lines. It's a very nice story and I like it a lot which sadly means I can find no other corrections. So, yeah.

~Crafty~

Hey Princess, love the piece!

It's definitely a very strong and powerful selection, and I enjoyed every moment of it. I kind of partly agree with the other review on here in saying that you should maybe give Marie a line or two, but I just wanted to maybe point out another possibility? Since this is a monologue, I think it would be a really good idea to remove the idea of Marie in general, and make it so he is talking to the audience, as if they were the ones on the roof listening to his thoughts.

Just an idea! Great piece though, definitely not suggesting that it needs change, I am merely showing a possibility.

>>>Ryan<<<

Thanks for pointing out the Marie problem. I've fixed it somewhat, so now Dorian is talking to an unspecified person, who may or may not really exist.

I like it. I don't know much about monologues, but I like your writing in general. It's interesting.

Such an original view upon suicide! I would have never thought of it as being a gift for someone dear, as being something completely un-selfish. And with this concept, you've built an interesting character. I would very much like to see this turned into a play/story/whatever, something big, because I think it would be interesting. You've fascinated me with this fragment. Should you ever continue this, let me know! I am sure it has potential to become a more complex work.