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Young Writers Society


The Proper Decision



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28 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 798
Reviews: 28
Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:40 am
AdventurerDaniel says...



Robert: How many people did I kill officer? Twenty? (sighs and gives a bemused grin) Not bad. I guess you'll want an explanation an alibi would be a waste of both of our times as you witnessed the crime in question well I'll put as simply as I can so your simple mind can understand. I did it because they were oh what's the term (looks off as though trying to grasp for the word) oh yeah mourning. I recall the events of that evening as such officer I was sitting in the graveyard reading as I have a habit of doing when I want a change of scenery when I noticed a tent set up nearby. I thought to myself well maybe just maybe the funeral had already occurred and the caretaker had forgotten to remove the tent after the preceding. I had no such luck as out of the corner I saw a hearse heading toward the tent and a line of cars following after. I thought well they should be quiet enough but just in case I put in some head phones in an attempt to block out the possibility of noise. I sat quite content no noise seemed to be quite capable of reaching me but then they started saying words over the corpse it wasn't that bad I could barely hear them but then their infernal crying started and it was to my ears like having the loudest rock and roll band in the world playing an inch from my face. I believe it was roughly ten minutes of this I tolerated before I lost my resolve I closed my book but just before I could calm myself I saw the book go flying out of my hands and into the skull of one of the mourners I could see the man hit the ground I walked over to the tent and one of the other mourners pulled a gun his hands were shaking and I could hear his breath coming out shakily I walked towards the man and grabbed his gun and pointed it towards the ground in shock he pulled the trigger and I heard as the bullet ricocheted off of the leg of a chair and into his eye it was all a red blur after that all I could hear at first were their screams of terror but then I heard the sirens of your men ariving officer and well you know the rest. Officer my actions may seem drastic but let me explain I did it because I was sick and tired of seeing people cry over an empty corpse. I see it as this officer wether you believe in a geat upper being that controls us all or not I know and you know that when we die we're in a much better state that's why you took this job isn't it the risk the chance that everytime you leave you could be shot dead just walking down the street you know as well as I do that everyone in this town despises the cops and trust the gangs more than you people to keep the streets cleans. You didn't join the "force" for justice or a sense of nobility but rather because you thought it was the easiest way to go. I peobably seem like a terrible monster to you but the problem is you understand me so well I see you as having three options here officer. Option one you shoot me no one will stop you I already confessed I'm going to the chair so either way I die, Option two you can shoot yourself you finally get out and I still die, Or option three you shoot the stupid chief of police I know he's listening through that glass and you know it's not nearly as bullet proof as they think and you can let me free. One thing though about option three if you do kill him and let me free us two will be the only two to survive in this building and then I swear I'll track down every last member of that funeral party and I swear I'll kill them. So decide officer pull the trigger make the desicion pull the trigger decide now.
(gun fire)
So much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
Red Wheel Barrow by- William Carlos Williams
  





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28 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 1586
Reviews: 28
Fri Feb 18, 2011 6:36 pm
92nida says...



I believe you must be a very convincing person when it comes to reality! I think it is pretty impressive though you must understand that when you write with zero breaks there is a chance that boredom might strike and people find it a little hard to keep up! You have a unique way of narration.. You ought to utilize it a lot better! I love the way the scene goes.. M sure it would be a great entertainment when enacted.. Beautiful convincing power.. Stick on to your way of writing.. Cuz it is unique.. Cut down the minor flaws and your true talent is gonna shine!
  








Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.
— Corrie Ten Boom