FADE IN
INT. KIM’S HOUSE – KIM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Kim is lying in bed, asleep.
TED (O.S.):
This is turning out to be easier than I thought.
CAT (O.S.)
Three dreams in two days. It’s not bad, but you do realize that, at that rate, it’s going to take you years to get rid of all of these dreams.
Ted is sitting on Kim’s BEDSIDE TABLE, one knee drawn up to his chest with his chin resting on his knee, watching Kim sleep. The cat is sitting on the edge of Kim’s bed.
TED:
I’m not trying to get rid of all of them. Just the ones I don’t like. The rest can rot out here for all I care.
CAT:
At least Kim hasn’t left you behind anywhere yet or taken you to the police.
TED:
What can I say? It’s my powers of persuasion.
CAT:
Don't act like you're not manipulating her. And what’s up with the kissing? It’s kind of gross and that isn’t doing anything.
Ted smirks against his knee.
TED:
There’s gotta be some benefit for me somewhere.
He is silent for a moment, pondering something.
TED:
So are you sure this will work?
CAT:
Mostly.
TED:
How do I get back out?
CAT:
That’s the part I’m not entirely sure about.
Ted grabs the cat and shoves him through the circle of his thumb and forefinger into Kim’s forehead.
TED:
Figure it out and get back to me.
Kim stirs a little and Ted draws back cautiously, but then she settles. There is a long moment of silence as Ted waits. Abruptly, the cat tumbles out, gasping as if it had been underwater.
CAT:
(sarcastically)
Thanks. I really wanted to do that. Because I’m really the one who wants in and out of her head.
TED:
Aren’t you, though? So what’s the skinny?
CAT:
(still gasping)
The exit’s still there. It’s just not quite as forceful anymore.
TED:
…Right.
He stands up and leans over Kim, leaning his weight on one arm near her head. He gently lays the circle on her forehead again and bends down until their faces are nearly touching. He looks down at her and smirks.
TED:
Too bad you’re not awake right now, eh baby?
He touches his forehead to the circle and is pulled in. The cat is left alone with the sleeping Kim.
CAT:
This wasn’t my idea, you know. None of it was. He made me do it. He made me-
Ted rolls out onto the bed next to Kim, drawing in one shuddering gasp of air.
TED:
Breathing. Geez, what moron thought that one up?
He breathes quietly for a moment, then rolls over and looks at Kim, his head resting on her pillow.
TED:
That was fun, huh?
Kim stirs then and rolls over so that she is facing Ted, who is still lying on the bed. The cat bristles in alarm. Kim’s eyes flutter open gently. Ted grins at her.
TED:
Hey, beautiful.
Kim screams and falls out of bed. She lands on the cat, who yelps and bolts into the bathroom. Ted lays on the bed, dissolved in helpless laughter.
TED:
I love my job.
ACT 1
INT. KIM’S CAR – DAY
Ted is looking at himself in his mirror, inspecting a black eye.
TED:
You hit pretty hard for a girl.
Kim is driving, looking ahead stoically. She has a splint on a finger of her right hand.
KIM:
Thanks. You have a thick head. Do that again and you’ll be dead.
TED:
Ooh, kitty’s got claws. I’m a nightmare. Scaring people is what I do, toots. Turn left here.
She does.
TED:
So, this particular dream is actually just about doughnuts.
KIM:
What?
TED:
I’m not even kidding. Well, it’s got a little more to it, but overall, we’re looking for a dream about doughnuts.
KIM:
I didn’t even know I dreamed about doughnuts.
TED:
Funny stuff, no?
KIM:
So, wait, I’ve helped you put dreams about my boss, falling and dinosaurs back in my head and now we’re worried about doughnuts?
The cat, sitting in the backseat, looks from the window to Ted. Ted returns the look, his face hard. However, his expression softens when he looks at Kim.
TED:
Seems that way.
KIM:
Shouldn’t, you know, more dangerous dreams be a higher priority?
TED:
Have you ever actually met a doughnut? Vicious little buggers.
Kim looks over at him incredulously.
TED:
Okay, okay, just kidding. Geez, but you’re no fun. Seriously, though, you don’t want nothing but nightmares in there, do you?
He reaches over and pats her head.
TED:
I know we’re debonair devils, but-
KIM:
Stop touching me.
TED:
Ooh, someone woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning…
KIM:
No thanks to you.
Ted just grins.
TED:
Just up there, on the right.
KIM:
I don’t believe this.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – PARKING LOT - DAY
She pulls up in front of a small convenience store and parks.
TED:
Righto. Come on, let’s go.
He exits the car and heads into the store. Kim and the cat look at each other, then they exit as well. Kim picks up the cat and walks into the store.
END OF ACT 1
ACT 2
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE – DAY
Kim enters the convenience store with the cat on her shoulder. She looks around for Ted, but doesn’t see him. However, she hears voices coming from a back room. Cautiously, she goes towards it. Through a slightly open DOOR, she sees Ted leaning over a MAN (50s), who is rather short and pudgy. Kim pushes the door open. The man is talking.
MAN:
Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m going to have to ask you –
He sees Kim.
MAN:
Get that cat out of here! Can’t you read the sign? No animals! I am so severely… allergic…
He blinks and looks at her a little more closely.
MAN:
Holy smokes.
TED:
Yeah. She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?
KIM:
Shut up.
MAN:
No. I mean yes, but… That’s really her?
He turns back to Ted.
MAN:
That’s really her! So you really are a dream…
He eyes Ted.
MAN:
You do a very good job of masking it.
(to Kim)
I’m sorry, my name is Gilbert Cruller.
KIM:
Cruller? As in the pastry?
She looks at Tim. He rolls his eyes. He points at Gilbert as he speaks to Kim.
TED:
Cruller. Pastry. Doughnut.
He groans and rubs his forehead.
TED:
I don’t believe this.
Kim ignores him and extends her hand to Gilbert.
KIM:
Hi. I’m Kim.
Gilbert takes it and shakes it warmly.
GILBERT:
Yes, I know.
(to cat)
I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what you were. I get so flustered.
CAT:
It’s fine. Ted has that effect on people.
GILBERT:
Ted? That’s an odd name for a dream.
TED:
At least it’s not glaringly obvious. I mean, seriously, I’ve had to put up with Phil Gigolo, Bob Diver, and Rex Lizard…
Gilbert narrows his eyes.
GILBERT:
What did you have to do with them? They sound like nightmares to me.
Kim glances at Ted as she answers.
KIM:
Yeah… They were.
GILBERT:
Pretty nasty people to get mixed up with.
TED:
Yeah, we know. Kim, can you leave now?
KIM:
But –
GILBERT:
Why? She just got here.
TED:
Kim. Now.
GILBERT:
But… Wait, you’re not -
Abruptly TED slams the circle onto Gilbert’s forehead, draws him through and chokes him down. Kim stares for a moment, frozen in shock, then drops the cat and bolts for the door.
TED:
Great.
CAT:
That could have been handled better.
TED:
Right. I could have let the fat dude spill the beans, or figure out who I am and tell, or let Kim-kim get attached or –
He is out the door by then. The cat surveys the scene, then follows.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – PARKING LOT - DAY
Kim is holding her cell phone, waiting frantically to be connected.
OPERATOR (over phone):
911 dispatch.
KIM:
Yes, I –
Ted’s hand reaches over her shoulder and snatches the phone from her hand.
TED:
Kim-kim, don’t bother the nice police.
He puts the phone to his head. The cat approaches.
TED:
Hello? Yes, I am so sorry about that. No, there’s no emergency. My sister’s just a bit unbalanced and she’s working into a new medication now. Yes… Oh really? Yes, I know what you mean. Well, I’m sorry about that. No. It’ll work out just fine though, believe me…
While he talks, Kim holds her head in her hands, staring at the ground and rocking a little on her feet. Abruptly she leans forward and vomits.
TED:
Aww, Kim…
(to phone)
I’m sorry again. I have to go. My sister just threw up. Yes. Thank you.
He presses the button to hang up.
TED:
I thought I could trust you with your phone now, Kim. I guess I was wrong.
He flips the phone shut and pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
TED:
You are so lucky that woman had an autistic son and understood my plight. Otherwise, we’d been up to our ears in police in few minutes.
KIM:
You ate him.
TED:
(not listening to her)
And what were you planning on telling them anyway? “Officer, the tall, dark and handsome nightmare ate the short, fat and ugly dream! Ask the talking cat! He saw it all!” They’d lock you up.
KIM:
Better than being stuck with you. You ate him!
She coughs and begins a series of dry heaves. Ted watches with his head tilted curiously.
TED:
I’ve never seen anyone throw up before. It’s oddly fascinating.
Kim just spits on the ground and sighs. She wipes at her eyes with a sleeve.
TED:
Not with the crying. Please.
KIM:
You ate him!
Ted makes an exasperated face.
TED:
Kim, that’s what I’ve been doing with all the dreams. I told you that. That’s why I have you leave. I gotta collect them up, but it’s messy. It’s better than you doing it, though. Speaking of which… Better put him back where he belongs.
He grabs the back of her head with a hand and kisses her on the mouth. But he pulls back almost immediately and makes a face.
TED:
Ugh. You taste awful.
Kim just pulls away and dry heaves again. The cat comes and sits down next to her, leaning comfortingly on her leg.
CAT:
(to Ted)
Bastard.
END OF ACT 2
Gender:
Points: 42011
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