Key: if a word is underlined…it means emphasise
if there is a / symbol it means the next character should start speaking (so there over the top of each other)
To the left of stage, is a table with a couple on each end of the table
to the back stage raised is an ironing board with a sofa infront of it …lots of ironing around and a man sat on the sofa whilst a woman irons
to the right of stage is a bed with a cabinet at either side, in the bed is two men having sex both facing away from the audience.
Front of stage , right near the audience, is a small block with mark sat right in the middle.
mark: [ speaking directly to the audience as though he was telling a story]
there are billions of people in this world, all unique in there own way, individual looks, individual personality, individual style.
so logically this would mean that every relationship between two people would be completely unique….. yet there always seems to be something linking them all together….
my first proper relationship was with a girl called…. Infact names aren’t important all you need to know is that she was my first love.
We started out as a cute couple… infact it took us around amonth to admit we liked each other [smiling] things were amazing, for a while anyway, but then arguments started to happen and instead of sorting the problem out we would break up. But we would get back together again because the love was still there.
our love was really strong…. But we still argued…
[ freezes]
[goes to couple backstage]
[girl 1 is doing the ironing behind the sofa , next to a rather large pile she has already done. Man 1 sits looking straight forward as though he was watching tv, whilst drinking a beer.
man 1: GO ON LAD! GET IN !
girl 1: we winning love?
man 1: [constantly looking forward trying to dismiss her silly question]
yea we are 2-1 and only 10 minutes to go !
girl 1: good good gives you a few minutes to put tea on then doesn’t it
Man 1: what? No..theres only 10 minutes left of the game anything could happen
Girl 1: you said so your self , were winning, now ive been in to town today and bought a couple of nice chunky steak pies, yano the ones we had last week what we liked?
[ man1 ignores her looking moody from her telling him to make the dinner]
YOU LISTINING? I said ive got some pies that need cooking!
man1: look ive been at work all day , I get one chance in a blue moon to watch telly and once in a life time to see a game like this. Tea can wait
Girl 1: oh and I haven’t been working? Is that it? Ive bought dinner, ive cleaned the house, washed the fucking shit stain off the toilet that YOU made and then finished my day with ironing so don’t you give me that “ive been working” bullshit
man 1: [winding her up] ironing is hardly a job is it love?
girl 1: [annoyed] well you do it next time then …[ both freeze]
mark: our relationship all together lasted around 2 years. I say all together because we split up every other week to due to some stupidly pathetic argument, but I made sure I put the effort in to make things work again, make sure my friends didn’t blame her for the break up, make sure she was happy.
I was the one always going to see her, meet her parents, talk to her friends, and if I asked the same of her….she would say no and give some immature excuse which me of course soaked up….because I loved her.[getting a bit upset]
this in turn started to eat away at me. How can she love me and not put the effort in to make the relationship work?
because we all know that you need effort to work a relationship……love alone wont work…..[freeze]
[man 2 and girl 2 are sat opposite each other on a long table which is full of food (Sunday lunch), girl 2 constantly tries to keep a conversation with man 2 but fails.
there is always an awkward feel between them both]
[ long pause whilst each other eat all you can hear is the scrapes of forks and knifes on the plates, girl 2 looks up every so often after each bite to try catch man 2s eye]
girl 2: have a nice day at work?
man 2: [looks up from his dinner slowly and says in a depressed monotone way] yes dear [ goes back to his dinner]
[pause]
girl 2: [trying to make conversation] ooh ya never guess what , yano sarah?
man2: ……
girl 2: sarah from down the road [ man nods] she won the lottery other day…a whole £45,000, she says she’s gonna buy that extensions she’s always wanted then if there’s any left go on a holiday
man 2: that’s nice
girl 2: would be nice to get away for a while wouldn’t it? Have a few weeks away just the two of us
[ fails to get an answer but is persistent]
I said it would be nice to get away wouldn’t it
man 2: [ said with a fork full of food in his mouth] yes, that would be nice [ coughs on the food so not to choke]
Girl 2: [gets up] im going to get a drink do you want one?
man 2: no thank you dear
Girl 2: it will help you swallow your food..stop you from coughing [ man shakes head and girl walks off stage]
ARE YOU SURE DEAR!?
[gets no answer from man. She comes back in with 2 glasses and a jug of water, places an empty glass infront of him then 1 at her end of the table and pours her self a glass of water before placing the water jug in the middle of the table, all in a stepford wives sort of way.] [freeze]
mark: I think we both realised what other people were thinking… this relationship was not going to work despite our feeling for each other.
at the time we both realised this, we were both going through a rough time…god knows what a break up would of done [ starts to get upset gradually getting worse]
things were so bad that she resorted to [pause] self harm…
I couldn’t leave her even if I wanted to , she needed me more then ever…
but the self harm just gave her an excuse to push me away [ really upset] I…i…I even cut my self just the once.. so I could try feel what she was feeling, try understand, so I could help her….[forced laugh] funny what love can do to a person… [ tearful] I went through hell just to make her happy , and when I needed her she said she couldn’t help because it reminded her too much of her own problems.. [crying] those few words killed me inside and she knew it. [pause mark rubs his eyes n has a moment to himself] she broke up with me the following week, by text, saying “ sorry but were better off apart because all I do is hurt you”.
funny how with love someone always gets hurt at some point….[freeze]
[ back from were we left off with the first couple]
man 1: [laughing] naaaa ironing is a woman’s job
girl 1 :[shouting] so it’s a job now is it?! Well heres your fucking work load!! [ throws his ironed clothes on him making him spill beer all over]
man 1: [ stands up angry, girl 1 comes to front of couch to confront him]
what the fuck you P M S ING about? I only asked for 10 mins so I could watch my fucking programme
[both shouting at each other now
girl 1: and I asked you to do a 2 minute job!
man 1: [ raises his arms in anger then grabs her shirt whilst getting in her face…pauses then realises what hes doing and lets go] fine…..fine im gonna cook the fucking pie
girl 1: what was you doing then?! You gonna hit me? You gonna hit me big man? [pushing him]
you was gonna hit me, so come on!!! FUCKING HIT ME!! [ slaps him]
HIT ME [ slaps him again but before she has the chance to say hit me again he slaps her] [pause for 2 seconds whilst she looks up at him in disgust, and he realises what hes done]
man 1: oh my god sorry, im so / sorry
girl 1 : [ goes mental] YOU BASTARD !! [ starts slapping him hard then grabs the iron swings at his head, he gets knocked to the couch, she lifts the iron high as though shes going to hit him again] [freeze]
mark : the next girl I was with , I didn’t have any love for at all.
we met randomly in a bar , talked for a while online afterwards then we actually met up in a park to talk person to person……she was beautiful and I mean she was stunning, the kind of girl any guy would look at wishing she was theres….
[jokily] in the words of my dad she was a bonnie lass….and no im not Scottish.
once we met up we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend and that was around a week before valentines day….i didn’t have a clue what to get her I mean wede only been going out a week, so I cooked her a candle lit dinner , we watched a movie and spent the rest of the night cuddled up under a cover. From there she instantly fell in love with me . but unfortunately I felt nothing back .
I tried to re act the love from my first relationship , but it just didn’t work, from then on when ever we saw each other we had sex…and things for me just became physical [freeze]
[ 2 men facing away from the audience in a bed, in the doggy style position, the covers are up but just enough to cover the bottom half , the audience can still see there topless. Man 3 finishes reaches to the side cabinet (left) and picks up a cloth to wipe his cock , both lay under covers together. Man 4 reaches to cabinet (right) gets a pack of cigs and a lighter lights both of them a cigarette and passes man 3 one]
man 4: if we carry on like this were gonna break the bed soon
man 3: I think that sounds like a challenge, [ leans over as though he’s gonna get back on top of him]
man 4: [laughs but pushes him away] not for another 5 minutes its not, give me chance to have a rest first….god your like a machine when you start going..
man 3: yea well I never see you for long, I like to make the most of my time.
man 4: yea you don’t see me for long [ said in a bitchy way to make him feel guilty]
man 3: look I wish things could be different, you know that. But if my wife found out that when I say im going to the pub for a couple of hour , that im actually with you , ide lose her and my kids.
Man 4: I know , I know, it would be nice to have you a bit longer though, its hard enough seeing you leave knowing that your going back to some one else, never mind the only seeing you once a week .
man 3: [kisses him (normal kiss not tongues)] yano I love you though ….[cheekily] Now are we going to complete this challenge or not ?
man 4: [ bit upset] no im too tired [ like the girls I cant have sex I have a head ache excuse]
man 3: oh come on, ive only got an hour left, at least suck my dick…… ill promise next time we will spend the afternoon together [lifts his chin so there lookin at each other]
man 4: oh ok [ goes under cover] [ freeze]
mark : after a short while I couldn’t bare to see her. It got to the point were I couldn’t finish in bed, we would be there for hours , literally, and I wouldn’t cum. Infact most of the time I just pulled out from exhaustion or from going limp….the reason? [ slightly angry] the reason is simply, I was disgusted with myself. How could I have sex with someone I don’t love?
knowing that I meant the world to her…… ya see sex to me is meaningful, its something shared between two people who LOVE each other, LOVE being one of the strongest emotions a person can or will ever feel. Yet I could have SEX with her, whilst she MADE LOVE to me…..[ angry/peed off] it disgusts me how the words ‘ I love you’ are used by people just for sex….infact the words are used in every day use, like saying goodbye to someone or there said as a joke. The words ‘I love you’ are empty, meaningless, pointless. I hate people who can use the word love effortlessly with no emotion involved…..[calming down] yet that’s who I had become through my relationship….
I couldn’t bare to break her heart by saying things were meaningless so I became ca coward and ignored her texts, calls and emails for a few days. When I came to talk to her again, we argued….then I said things cant work between us if were arguing after 3 week of going out….. so we split.
later on she tried to take me home for a one night stand, knowing I didn’t want to see her, but she didn’t care because she just wanted to see me. Try make things work between us
[back to couple 2]
[carry on silence for few seconds whilst they eat]
girl 2: could you pass the salt please? [ no answer] dear…the salt?
[ he gets up walkes to her end of the table and gives her the salt, as hes about to turn back she grabs his arm and points at her cheeky for a kiss]
I love you
man 2: [unenthusiastically] love you too dear [ sits back down]
girl 2: you’ve barely touched your food, were going to be late if you don’t hurry up. Weve got that charity ball to go to tonight remember.
man 2: I don’t feel too well
girl 2: [persistent] well we have to go we promised we would make an appearance [ man sighs girl 2 finishes last bite and gets up] right dear seen as your not eating you can clean the pots im off for a bath.
[ woman walks off stage left and shouts] DON’T TAKE TOO LONG I WANT TO GET THERE EARLY.
[ he sits for a while just staring at his food , wipes his face as though he was wiping away a bad idea.
gets up starts to pick up pots from the middle of table. Pauses looks off stage (were girl went) then pulls out a tube of tablets from his pocket, he crushes them with girls glass then puts them in the water, stares at the glass for a few moments then pours the rest of the tablets in his mouth n swallows them all with the water…he then goes to sit back down in his seat emotionlessly and carries on eating slowly]
mark: so now I realise no matter how much I get along with someone, how pretty they are, or how much I love them . things wont work out. Because I find it hard to commit to relationships that just aren’t ‘normal’ . you know what I mean…boy meats girl, they do anything for each other, love each other, and live happily ever after.
well ive never found that…….so ive been seeing girls who are already spoken for, just so I don’t have to commit myself to someone, so I don’t have to put much effort in….or love. Because they don’t need it, they already have it in some form from there boyfriends.
problem is knowing that we cant be together I do what im trying to avoid , and I start to fall in love… and so I put my heart on the line, asking a stupid question that I know im gonna regret. I know im going to get hurt. But I don’t care, I ask for commitment a girl cant make, love a girl cant give, knowing ill get hurt. And I do it just in case there’s a chance that we can be ….normal…..be happy
[back to couple 3]
[ man 3 groaning and moaning , pulling orgasmic faces etc as though he was enjoying himself then his phone starts to ring]
man 3: [panicking] SHIT….SHIT STOP will you sotp its the wife [ answers phone] hey hunny…..
man 4: oh ignore the bitch and come back to bed [ snatches phone and turns it off]
man 3: [ angry as hell] you idiot , you fucking idiot, what do you think your doing?
man 4: you said you wanted me , now you can have me when you want
man 3: listen you stupid fuck {grabs him by the neck and pins him to the bed board] this is my family your jeopardising. Im married, I have kids, your just abit on the side…..its just sex !
[ starts to get dressed in a rush]
man 4: [ tears in his eyes and him rubbing his throat] [quietly] get out [ man 3 ignores him and carries on getting dressed] [ shouts] GET OUT NOW
man 3: [ picks up rest of his clothes heads off stage (right) you hear a door slam (sfx) then man 4 curls up n starts to cry to himself]
man3: [from outside] here look im sorry……[no answer] I said im sorry.
[shouting] fine then you stupid prick have it your way, but if this gets out and ruins my relationship with my wife and kids ill be back, and ill fucking kill you ya hear? You fucking hear me?....
mark: there was one girl who had a boyfriend, that I had fallen deeply in love with , and she said she loved me too. And despite the problem of her having a boyfriend, things felt normal, thing felt perfect . she would always complain about her boyfriend causing arguments over nothing, and I would be there to comfort her. We never argued, we always made the effort to see each other, we always smiled…..[thinking of past] she had the most beautiful smile….
after a while her boyfriend found out and broke up with her, and instead of her coming to me she begged him! To take her back, her love for me was empty, and even though thing were perfect with us, she was happy with him , but she only realised that once she had lost him, I tried to make her happy by getting them back together, but it was too late…..[freeze]
[man 1 is on the sofa with blood coming from his head, girl 1 is by his side iron on the floor and shes crying.
man 2 is laid back in his chair with vomit/blood, coming out of his mouth, girl 2 just walks in, wearing nothing but her towel and a towel on her head.
man 4 is still curled up looking at offstage right were man 3 walked out]
man 3: [from offstage] ILL/ FUCKING KILL YOU [man 4 still crying]
girl 2: no…no / what have you done [ holds man 2s head to her chest ]
girl 1: im sorry [ whilst crying]
man 4: but…..
man 4
girl 1 I love you
girl 2
mark: ya see the problem with love is that a lot of the time you only realise its there when you’ve lost it. But then its too late, you either cant get them back or things have changed so much that the relationship isn’t the same…..from experiencing these things I realise that love comes in many forms, Ive realised that when I lose someone I feel something. But when im with them I fail to feel……like my relationship is perfect
then I look at successful couples, arguing, fighting, having sex at every chance….and there happy, happy with who there with , and with what there doing.
despite all the bad things that happen between them.
these are the perfect relationships, these are the perfect imperfections
[end]
ok… I know theres some grammar errors, problems with punctuation etc……but its only a first draft thought ide let you see it
thank you for your review
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