Okay first things first. I've never written a script before so the format may be way off. That being said, i want help with that and grammar, but my real focus is "is this funny? How could it be better? is it worth continuing?" also this is the very very beginning and i have a lot of ideas swirling around but i havent put them down in a linear way that makes sense... i just want to know if I'm on the right track.
The Ungrateful Dead
Exterior: back yard. Three nerds wearing black cloaks are gathered around a bonfire.
Nerd one: okay, do we have all the ingredients?
Nerd two: yes, all we need to do now is sacrifice something to the incantation
Nerd three pulls out a dead squirrel from his backpack and sets it on a garden table. On the table sits a knife and a book entitled “sacrifice for dummies”
Nerd two: That’s already dead
Nerd three: Well yeah… I couldn’t catch a live one…
Nerd one: What the frack! It doesn’t count if it’s already dead
Nerd two: is that the same one that was on the side of the road on Sycamore Street?
Nerd three: It totally counts!
Nerd two: ‘Cause it looks like the one from Sycamore Street
Nerd three: Okay, I’ll bet you my level 100 mewtwo…
Everyone stops for a second to look at nerd three
Nerd one: with a masterball attached?
Nerd three sniffles a bit shakes his head and says:
With a masterball attached.
Nerd Two: okay, let’s get this x-wing into deep space, so we can get our wish for awakening that demon… you stab the squirrel and I’ll read.
Nerd two opens to chapter four, resurrection of demons. He begins to read
Nerd two: Mali a mati! Mali a manta! Coo Coo Cachoo! Coo Coo Cachoo!
Thunder starts to rumble. Close up of squirrels’ eye opening. The squirrel shrieks and struggles pined under the knife.
Nerd Three: Good Goodness! You read from the wrong page! No! Now our World of Warcraft Barbarians will never have plus fifteen dexterity!
He Breaks down and starts to cry. Camera pans away from the house and the crying grows soft as the camera turns to a grave yard. Close up on the grave and banging starts and then grows louder until it stops, and a hand pops out of the ground. As this happens the title fades in “The ungrateful dead” with a zombie screaming fade to black.
Interior: fade in zombie is still screaming but now coming out of a TV screen. Two boys are playing X-Box in a boy’s room. The room’s walls are covered in posters and the floor is scattered with random clothing and books. On TV screen characters die and a game over screen pops up. The boy who owns the houses says.
Rick: Dude you suck at this game… in a real zombie invasion you’d be the first to die I swear…
James: I know right? Well thank god that’s never gonna happen. Well, it’s almost 8. I should start walking to Victors’ house
Rick: What! Why are you going to POTHEADS house?
James: It’s pronounced Poth heed, and I have to stay there while my parents are gone. He IS my cousin. You can come with me if you want.
James gets up and opens the door and yells down stairs
James: Hey Mrs. Ketch! Can James sleep over my house?
A drunken voice replies: Yeeeeaah.
Rick: alright, but that’s like 20 minutes away. Let me check when it’s supposed to rain.
Rick turns off the game system and turns it to cable. He flips through the channels for a little while until he finds the news.
Weather Forecaster: So it shouldn’t start to rain for about another hour or so. You can see the cold front…
His voice trails off as the boys as the boys grab their coats and back packs when another voice radiates from the TV
Anchor woman: Breaking news! Three local nerds have gone missing. A copy of “sacrifice for dummies” was found out back which leads detectives to believe that they were trying to summon a demon to help level up their characters in a video game. It is impossible to determine what game at this time but our sources say they are on a good track. And now for the exclusive channel nine footage, an interview with the last person to see them alive. John.
A news style shot of a close up on another reporter standing next to the impaled squirrel. The squirrel is still grunting and struggling under the knife.
Male Reporter: So when was the last time you saw the boys?
Squirrel: RRRRREEAAHHH RARR RARA
Male Reporter: Can you be more specific?
Squirrel: REEE REE EREE ROAAH
Male Reporter: And did you see anyone with them?
Squirrel: RREEEEREEEREEREAH
Back to woman anchor
Woman Anchor: It seems that the witness is holding out what he saw. Could he be protecting someone? Who knows, but we have been told that detectives have taken him into custody, and are still trying to work the information out of him. In other news…
-Irish
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