Young Writers Society

The Adventures of Sock-ee, the Lost Sock:

Enter a lost sock named Sock-ee, alone. Or so he thinks...

Sock-ee: I'm lost!

Drawer: The sock can talk!

Sock-ee: Who said that?

Drawer: It is I, the magnificent Drawer. I hold many things in my impressive and respectable collection.

Sock-ee: Really? It seems pretty empty here... *Looks around*

A cricket chirps.

Sock-ee: AHH! A cricket!

Drawer: Ahh, my friend Billy. Billy the cricket. Nice to see ya, Billy.

Billy: *Chirps twice*

Sock-ee: *Gasps* Did he just say...?

Drawer: Billy! Don't use that type of language when I have a guest!

Billy: *Chirps once*

Drawer: No, Billy, you may not hop inside of him. He's probably dirty, anyway.

Sock-ee: Excuse me, I'm squeaky clean! I was washed just before I got... lost!

Drawer: You're not lost. You're inside me. You know me, so therefore, you are not lost.

Sock-ee: But I am lost! Help me out of here!

Drawer: I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll do that.

Sock-ee: Why not?!?

Drawer: Because I'm tired and don't feel like opening...

Sock-ee: You...! Let me out, you meanie!

Drawer: You've offended me. Now I definitely won't help you. Goodnight.

Sock-ee: But... bu... but... I need help!

Awkward silence for a minute or two

Billy: *Chirps thrice*

Sock-ee: Shut it, Billy.

Sock-ee sits around for a few hours in silence, contemplating and scheming ways to get out of Drawer.

Footsteps vibrate the wooden Drawer. They are nearing it.

Sock-ee: Huh? Is someone... Is someone there?

Drawer opens. A little girl peers inside.

Little girl: Mommy and Daddy's dwa-wew!

Sock-ee hops out of Drawer.

Little girl: *Screams* A moving sock!

The little girl's father runs in.

Father: What's going on? Honey, are you okay? Holy Flapjacks, you opened the drawer!

Little girl: But, Daddy, the sock moved!

Father (in a hillbilly accent): Oh, honey, that's just a figment of your i-maj-er-a-shun.

Little girl: *Looks confused* Daddy, I thought Mommy told you to stop using your hiwll-biwlly accent!

Father: *Looks worried* Oh, you're right, she did. Please don't tell her I said that. So, let's get this drawer closed up, shall we? *Closes drawer and catches finger in it* Dangflabbet!

Little girl: *Gasps* I'm telling Mommy!

Father: No! I beg of you! *Drops to his knees*

Little girl: I'm telling...

Both exit the room bickering.

Sock-ee: Phew. That was close!

Billy: *Chirps four times*

Sock-ee: Aww, man! You got out, too?

Billy: *Chirps five times*

Sock-ee: Fine, you can come, but you have to be good.

Billy: *Chirps twice*

Sock-ee: Don't insult me! That's it; I'm leaving you here.

Billy: *Chirps seven times*

Sock-ee: Billy, don't beg. That's degrading. Now, hop along. I need to find my way back to my home.

Billy: *Chirps six times*

Sock-ee: Billy, just leave!

Billy hops off into a corner.

Sock-ee: Now, where should I go?

Sock-ee hops to the door, which is opened by a woman.

Woman: There you are. I knew my daughter's sock was somewhere! Let's wash you; you're pretty dirty.

The woman picks up Sock-ee.

Sock-ee: No!

Woman: Did the sock just...? Clarice, get a hold of yourself. You want to stay out of the crazy house, don't you? Maybe I don't... Maybe I do! Shut up! Quit arguing with me!

The woman walks to the washing machine and drops Sock-ee in it.

Sock-ee: No!

Woman: There. Now let's go make some dinner. No, I don't want to! Yes, you do!

Woman walks off, talking to herself.

Sock-ee: Huh? The washing machine... It's not moving! I'm safe!

A few chirps echo throughout the machine.

Sock-ee: Oh, no.




This was for Meep's Laugh Fest Contest. It's probably painfully obvious that I'm trying to be funny, since I'm not that great with humor. Haha. Bye!

Hey there, music_lover!
Just wanted to inform you, that I've noted your entry, and also I'd advise you put a spacing between the dialogue,
So that it's easier on everyone's eyes.

~Thanks!
Have a nice day!
Meep(:

Socks are amazing.

hey

Pretty good dialoague between the characters... you made it actually interesting to listen to a sock named sock-ee (very original by the way ) talk. My favourite 'character' was the cricket, I liked how we never knew what he was saying but find out due to the response of the person he was talking to!

xx mimi xx

Hola.
I liked it. I don't know about some other people around here, but I think it's funny.
Like Mimi, my favorite was the cricket.

I must seem like a totally new person here on YWS, (hah, thats because I am!) but what is 'Meep's Laugh Fest Contest'?


Peace. Love. Dearie.

Oh I forgot; Gold Star!

-Dearie

Dearie wrote:
I must seem like a totally new person here on YWS, (hah, thats because I am!) but what is 'Meep's Laugh Fest Contest'?

I'm Meep(: and that is my contest, Dearie

For someone who was trying to be fun that was awesome. Billy and Sock-ee were hilarious. I also love how you gave Sock-ee a name that wasn't 'lost sock' or 'sock', bland names like that. Names like Sock-ee add character. Billy's chirps were cute also.

Hey Music! How are ya? ^^

So you're entering Meep's contest too? Good luck then.
But you won't need it, because this is awesome.

Socks and crickets (not all just Billy) rule!

Haha that was great! I loved the interaction between all of the characters. Like most others Billy and Sock-ee were my favorite but I don't think it would have been the same without the others!
Great job, good luck with the contest!

Hehehe! I love this! I can't help wondering what Billy said.

Sockee and Billy were my favs.

I have no doubt you will win.

-Jesus Freak!

It was pretty entertaining. A bit all over the place, but that's the intent.
As much as I enjoyed all the witty dialogue, alot of it just wasn't that funny. I'd wished it'd actually be longer, a bit more going on, and I the father and daughter really were more random than humorous.

That said, it's not a bad piece. You got a great story, its structured perfectly, and I didn't really find any noticable errors in grammar, etc, etc.

It's a good piece, with a few touch ups, it could be even better.
well done, keep up the good work.

Hey there!

This was really cute.

Sock-ee: I'm lost!

Drawer: The sock can talk!

Hahaha!

Father: Oh, honey, that's just a figment of your i-maj-er-a-shun. *Says in hillbilly accent*

In places like this, I think you should have: "Father (in a hillbilly accent): Oh, honey, that's just a figment of your i-maj-er-a-shun." I think it's what script-writers usually do.


Hmm, I was kind of wondering, why was the sock lost? Should he (I feel so weird calling a sock 'he') have been somewhere else? Or was it just because he was in the wrong drawer or something?


Anyway, good luck in the contest! If the judging has not been done already, that is. Well, good luck anyway!


Demeter
xxx

Love it Especially here:

Sock-ee: Huh? The washing machine... It's not moving! I'm safe!

A few chirps echo throughout the machine.

Sock-ee: Oh, no.

And here's a mistake I found:

Footsteps vibrate the wooden Drawer. They are nearing it.

*Is confused*
But it's awesome, and I'm entering the contest too. Also writing about a lost sock. But I have to say, I like yours better.

Since I have never reviewed a script before, and am probably terrible at it since I can't find a thing to correct with all dialogue, then I will just tell you what I liked and didn't like.

Yes, I do agree with you that it looked like you were trying to be funny. Don't worry, I'm not that great at humor either. Yet! You did make it funny! The cricket was funny, though, I would have a little less chirps in the whole thing. It seemed a little much for the poor little crickets voice- box!

Also, the flow was off. It didn't really seem to be as fluent as it probably should. I would try having there be less of unimportant time fillers and more of the story's actual structure. Sorry if the 'time fillers' are the story's structure, but they sound a bit like you are just trying to kill time.

If I was harsh or anything, or said something offensive, them PM me. I don't mind. Like I said, I'm not all that great at reviewing scripts. Also, I hope this helped a little!

(I'm rambling, aren't I?)