Young Writers Society

The Mitten
Characters:
KITTEN, the tiniest kitten
BUNNY and MOUSE, Kitten's BFFs
FOX, a confused and in love fox
ROX, Fox’s girlfriend

ACT ONE
All is quiet in Ubergaladalaba.

Enter MOUSE and BUNNY

MOUSE: The snow is shiny, sun's aglow
In the sky, there flies a crow
If we could sled on the plateau
My day would be complete; let's go!

BUNNY: Oh yes! A trip to sled I know
Would be perfect. Tally ho.

Enter KITTEN

BUNNY: Kitten, please, come and join us
Our sledding trip will be the best!
And you can tag along, unless...

KITTEN: Yes?

BUNNY: Uh-oh! Where'd it go?
I'm afraid the trip will be a no.

MOUSE: But I can sled like a pro!

BUNNY: But we shan't leave without our Kitten
And Kitten can't go without her mitten!

KITTEN: looks down at her paw Le gasp!
My glove has fallen out of my grasp!

BUNNY: You'll get cold without your mitten,
And no one wants a frozen Kitten!
Not on our sleds we'll be a-sittin'
Til Kitten finds her missing mitten!

MOUSE: I'll help you find your missing mitten
Even if it's in Great Britain!

BUNNY: Yes, yes, what Mouse said.
We'll find the mitten, then we'll sled.

KITTEN: Thanks, guys, you're my best friends!
Kitten looks up at the sky
Quickly, now, 'fore rain descends.
KITTEN, MOUSE, and BUNNY all exit

Enter FOX

FOX: Man, I wish I had a robot
To do everything a butler ought
And then I'd truly lack for naught.
FOX looks around the stage and notices something in the far corner.
What's this? What's this?
Is something here amiss?
FOX picks up a fuzzy pink mitten
Has someone lost their precious gauntlet?
Or left it behind, for myself to get?
Will someone miss it and be upset?
No, it was left on purpose, I bet
For one (such as me!) to find, not fret
No harm will come if I take the glove
As a suitable gift for my lady love!
FOX exits, clutching the mitten

ACT TWO
KITTEN, BUNNY, and MOUSE are in KITTEN'S bedroom.

MOUSE: We'll never find the glove this way
Not searching all the live-long day
And I'm hungry for a cheese souffle!

BUNNY: Should we save the trip for another day?

KITTEN: No! I really want to go
Please make it so, please make it so!

BUNNY: Well, maybe you could try and remember
When you lost it - was it in December?

KITTEN: Oh, I know I had the thing last week.
Curse you, mitten, whose warmth I seek!
I'm so frustrated I want to shriek!

BUNNY: No, no, dear, that won't solve a thing.
We'll find the glove and that we'll bring
To sled atop Mount Ding-a-ling.
We'll surely find it 'fore the spring.

KITTEN: I will go and check the park.
I could have dropped it in the dark.

ACT TWO, SCENE TWO
The park.
Enter KITTEN.

KITTEN: I can't believe I lost my mitten!
I am such a stupid kitten.

Enter ROX.

ROX: Hiya, Kitten, hey! Why the crying?
Stop your tears, your eyes need drying
And instead of sighing, we could be trying
To figure this problem out.

KITTEN: My mitten is what I'm sad about.

ROX: Well hey, we can totally find it!
Using our minds and our wit.
And until we do, we'll never quit.

KITTEN opens her mouth to say something, but just then FOX rushes in. He doesn't notice KITTEN. He kneels down beside ROX.

FOX: Rox, Rox, such a gorgeous fox!
You are the key to all the locks
On my heart! Let's drink whiskey (on the rocks)
And discuss our future in bonds and stocks.
Wait, don't speak, I have a present in a box.

FOX gives ROX a box. She opens it to find one pink and fuzzy mitten.

FOX: A mitten, a mitten,
For the one I am smitten.

KITTEN: That's my mitten.

FOX: Kitten?

KITTEN: On it, my name's written.
On my paw, it's a-fittin'!

ROX: Oh, I told you so, Kitten!
Fox, thank you for finding her mitten.

KITTEN: Yes, Fox, you are a dear.
You deserve a cheer: hear, hear!
And from my eye I wipe this tear
For I thought it had disappeared.

FOX: Uh...Yeah. Right!
I have indeed resolved your plight.

ROX: You are such a charming knight.
Come, while the stars shine bright
Let's get married. Yes, married, tonight!

FOX: 'Tis a dream of mine, on a midsummer's night,
To marry my love, and now it's in sight.

KITTEN: I'm afraid, Fox, on the contrary
The month right now is February.

FOX: Fiddlesticks.

ACT TWO, SCENE THREE
Atop Mount Ding-a-ling, KITTEN, MOUSE, and BUNNY are getting ready to have lots and lots of fun.

KITTEN: I'm so glad Fox has found my mitten,
Now I am a happy kitten!

THE END

Don't blame me! Blame anti-pop and her ridiculous contest! (#9).

I blame YOU! For making my day.
But Mars, my dear, I truly must say
I can't review your script now, for I musn't delay
I'll be back soon, and then we may play!



~Evi

Hey, I'm back! Sorry 'bout the above little rhyme. I couldn't resist!

So, yes, I normally hesitate to review scripts. However! You're right; this is almost like a poem, which I can review! But, brace yourself; with me, the line between a 'serious' review and a 'silly' review is very blurred. Just to warn you. I'm not going to take this as a joke, even though it kind of is; I'll treat it very seriously, just as I would any other critique. *nods*

Right after I tell you I loved it and thought it was brilliant and hilarious.

There. Now, I'm all business. *straightens tie*

I think I'll mainly comment on rhythym and rhyming, since their isn't much depth to try and unravel or complicated story lines to follow. Things in bold are my additions/suggestions, of course.

MOUSE: The snow is shiny, sun's aglow
In the sky, there flies a crow
If we could sled on the plateau
My day would be complete; let's go!

I'm very sorry, you must know
To say this rhyme just doesn't flow!
The last line seems to long to me.
Although you could just leave it be.

BUNNY: Uh-oh! *insert one or two more syllables here* Where'd it go?
I'm afraid the trip will be a no.
MOUSE: But I can sled just like a pro!

The first line is too short, I fear
It needs a syllable more, m'dear

My glove has fallen [s]out of [/s]from my grasp!

To do everything a butler ought

To do all that a butler ought

Has someone lost their precious gauntlet?
Or left it behind, for myself to get?

This doesn't rhyme, I have to say
Not sure how to fix it anyway
So don't mind me, just go along
Ignore me as I ramble on.

When you lost it - [s]was it [/s]in December?

KITTEN: I can't believe I lost my mitten!
I am such a stupid kitten.

To go with such a playful air
I think 'silly' should go there
In 'stupid's' place; would that be fair?

KITTEN: Oh, I know I had the thing last week.
Curse you, mitten, whose warmth I seek

I love this part so much, you see
No words describe my ecstasy


So, that was a crazy ride
I do hope that you're satisfied
With my review, for I have tried
To show you that I haven't lied

About my love for this script here
It's all I could do to not stand up and cheer!
In fact, I love it oh so much
A GOLD STAR for an extra touch!

Your rhyming is superb to me
The plotline cute and so silly
Your rhyming just seems effortless
When it could have easily been a mess!

Ta-ta for now, 'cause I am done
This sure has been a lot of fun
I sure do hope you win the contest
For this entry here is surely best!



~Evi

ha ha awsum

Usually i get bored of reading scripts, but this one kept me entertained the whole way through.

To be honest I think all the errors were picked up in the post above, not that I really spotted any, was too busy enjoying reading.

Well done.

Good luck with the contest.

Oh, Mars, Mars, I won't be harsh. Just to give you some gold stars.

Well, okay, one.

I absolutely adored this. I wish the best luck in the contest – which I might be entering, too –, and if you don't win, it's a disgrace. This was, to quote thunder_dude7, pure awesomeness. Your rhyming worked brilliantly, except I felt that everything that Fox said was out of rhyme. Maybe it's a part of characterization? I don't know about that, but yes, maybe pay more attention to Fox's words.

I was laughing softly and femininely throughout the poem/script, until I got to that Mount Ding-a-ling part, in which I majorly cracked up. You wouldn't have wanted to see it.

KITTEN: I'm afraid, Fox, on the contrary
The month right now is February.

FOX: Fiddlesticks.

Oh my gosh, you're killing me!


"No one wants a frozen kitten"... hilarious.

Yes, there were a few parts where the meter and the rhyming was off, but I'm sure you'll find those parts when you read this out loud one more time.

This was such a feel-good piece. Thanks for the read.


Demeter
xxx

Good Job! You certainly put your rhymes into place. But.... some of them didn't rhyme.... but no big deal. This is certainly a good script, although, I don't really feel this was meant to be a script at all this is meant to be a children's story, or a poem. So, using this script, try to pursue that type of writing. It would be better. also...

What's this? What's this?

somehow I think you had just watched The Nightmare Before Christmas right before you wrote this. No huge issue, just try to write Orginially. Still, this is well done, and I think you're a good writer. Keep writing!!!!!!!