*knock on door*
*Tom stands from table, crosses room and opens door*
*a man stands in doorway, cloaked in all black, his black hair slicked back and shining, his eyes bleach white*
Tom: Hello?
*man in black glances up from a small sheet of paper*
Tom: Oh hell, not you again.
Death: Hello Tom.
*Tom slams door*
*man in black quickly dissolves through doorway*
Death: Why do you mortals even bother?
Tom: Oh yes, right. Forgot about the whole 'free moving vapor' thing.
Death: Well, technically since I'm not specifically a ghost, I'd be more of an 'immortal entity'.
Tom: Ah yes.
*awkward silence*
Tom: *clears throat* Well...you may as well come inside.
Death: I already am.
Tom: Come inside my dining room.
*Death follows him into kitchen*
Tom: Can I at least finish my breakfast before we get down to it?
Death: *sighs* Sure. Of course.
Tom: Thanks.
*Tom picks up his toast and hurls it at Death's face. Toast floats in and disappears*
Death: What was that?
Tom: I don't know...a distraction, I was hoping. Maybe leave some crust in your eye long enough for me to escape.
Death: Well that's just plain silly, Tom.
Tom: I know. But you can't blame me for trying.
*Death shrugs*
Tom: Care for some coffee?
Death: Coffee'd be great.
*Tom snatches up coffee machine and chunks it across room. Machine flies through Death's chest and crashes to the floor*
Death: Damn it Tom, now why the hell would you do that?
Tom: Guess I figured maybe something heavier could leave a lasting impact.
Death: Why would it make any difference?
Tom: I don't know, why did toast disappear into your face while a coffee maker flew through?
Death: How should I know? I don't make the rules. Please just take a seat.
*Tom sits*
Tom: Haven't we been through all this before?
Death: That was different.
Tom: How so? Did you wear a different pair of black pants that day?
Death: That was a 'near' death experience. This is a 'total' death experience.
Tom: So you mean, that's it? I'm dead. No way out?
*Death shrugs*
Death: Well I could flip a coin, leave it up to fate.
Tom: Really?
Death: No.
Tom: You're an ass.
Death: I know.
*Tom rubs his hands through his hair*
Tom: I can't tell my family and friends goodbye?
Death: Fraid not.
Tom: This isn't fair. This isn't. My family. My mom. You'll kill her by killing me. Jesus Christ, I was going to marry Michelle...I was gonna propose today.
Death: What?
Tom: I said I was gonna ask the girl I love to marry me. But I suppose it's better you take me now rather than after.
Death: How?
Tom: How what?
*Death takes a seat across from Tom*
Death: How were you going to propose?
Tom: What?
Death: How were you going to propose?
Tom: Nothing incredibly elegant. Nothing fancy. I was going to take her out to a dinner. Ask about her work. Ask her how life was. Listen to anything she said, never interrupt. I'd take her home and I'd rent her favorite movie.
Death: Which is?
Tom: Die Hard.
Death: Really?
Tom: Michelle's amazing.
Death: Indeed. Continue.
*Tom clears his throat*
Tom: When we first met, not the very first day, of course, but like the first few days we were going out, Michelle told me about a locket her father bought her for her tenth birthday. It wasn't fancy, just some soft gold and a cheap silver, but she wore it for the next ten years. Her father died a few days after he gave her the chain, so she kept it as a remembrance. During college she had to pawn the locket. Broke her heart, but she needed the money, food and fees and taking care of mom, you know? She came to get it back after graduation but it had been sold off. Took me half a year but I finally found that sucker. Was in a pawn shop in Chinatown. Wild, right? Was gonna wrap that in a small box, brown cardboard, romantic huh? When she found the necklace the ring would be on the chain.
Death: Pretty elaborate.
Tom: I know.
Death: But well executed.
Tom: I know.
*Death shakes his head*
Death: I'm sorry.
Tom: For what?
Death: The whole 'killing you' thing.
Tom: Don't be. It's just your job.
Death: That doesn't make it any more enjoyable.
*Tom nods*
Tom: Tell me, why is my mind suddenly being flooded by memories of my Uncle Buddy?
Death: Oh yeah, it's just a sudden realization. Everyone gets a few.
Tom: I used to think my dad was a hard ass. Uncles Buddy was the cool one. Always there to play catch, take you to football games, any time, day or night. I now realize he had time for all that because he never worked. He was a loser. A bum. Always drunk. Huh. Seems like a somewhat mediocre final realization.
Death: Maybe you led a trivial life and didn't learn anything.
Tom: Harsh.
Death: *shrugs* Then again, maybe you had a happy existence, one free of secrets and lies. You humans get so pent up with so many false perceptions along the road you travel, it's nice to meet someone who's partially clean.
*Tom blushes, coughs once*
Tom: Oh jeez.
Death: Bit of an embarrassing realization coming up?
Tom: I'd rather not talk about it.
Death: Understood.
*Tom sighs, tapping his fork against his plate*
Tom: You got any family?
Death: Oh yes.
Tom: Really?
Death: Swear to God. In fact, you've even met one of them. Course you wouldn't remember that. You didn't have memory back then.
Tom: Who?
Death: My brother Life.
Tom: Life?
Death: Yep. He's there at every birth. Sometimes our works cross paths. That's never a good day.
Tom: Never a good time for a reunion when it involves someone dying.
Death: Nope.
Tom: What's your brother like?
Death: Nice guy. Quiet. Doesn't talk nearly as much as I do.
Tom: Wouldn't picture that.
Death: Most people can't.
Tom: *smiling* I remember when I first saw you.
Death: Bet you thought that was all a hallucination.
Tom: Well I did have a major concussion.
Death: But you knew better.
Tom: If I was gonna hallucinate it certainly wouldn't be about you.
Death: It'd be about Michelle, right?
*Tom nods*
Tom: Could you do me a favor?
Death: Depends what that favor involves.
Tom: Could you tell me how I die?
Death: *shakes head* You won't be able to avoid it. You'll forget everything that happened back to before I knocked. You'll be back eating breakfast, oblivious.
Tom: I know. I'd just like to know.
Death: It won't matter.
Tom: I know. I'm just curious.
Death: Curiosity kills.
Tom: So I've heard.
*Death sighs, drawing the small sheet of paper back from inside his pocket*
Death: Ok. Let's see. Looks like you...I don't believe this.
Tom: What?
Death: I don't believe this.
Tom: What? You're starting to freak me out. Is it that gruesome?
Death: No. It's just...I don't believe this.
Tom: Just tell me!
*Death shakes his head, rubbing his hands through his hair*
Death: You know that hunk of toast you threw at me?
Tom: The one that mysteriously dissolved?
Death: Yeah.
Tom: What about it?
Death: Turns out you were supposed to choke on it.
Tom: So you mean...
Death: As long as you avoid toast this morning, I'm pretty sure you're gonna live a happy life.
Tom: You're kidding me.
Death: Do I look like I have a sense of humor to you?
Tom: No, but I know for a fact that you do.
Death: You'll be ok.
*Tom snatches Death up in a bear hug*
Tom: Oh my God. Oh my God. This is insane!
Death: *struggling to breath* I know. Could you put me down?
Tom: Oh yeah.
*releases Death*
Death: Good thing those folk tales aren't true.
Tom: About the 'touching you' thing?
Death: Yep.
*Tom stands still, smiling away*
Tom: So this is where we part.
Death: At least until tomorrow.
Tom: What?
Death: *laughing* Just joshin' ya.
Tom: *sticks out hand* Thanks a lot, man.
Death: Don't thank me. Thank the big man for making me unable to touch wheat-based products.
*the two shake hands*
Death: See ya, Tom.
*Death's eyes swirl a moment, turning to a shining blue*
*Tom stares into his eyes. Everything goes white*
*Tom opens his eyes. He's sitting at his breakfast table. He sits still, staring down at his plate*
Tom: Where's my toast?
FIN
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