Young Writers Society

Cast:
Boy - teenaged boy.
Girl - teenaged girl.

Setting:
Girl's backyard, in the trees behind her house.

Time:
Midnight.

----

(BOY walks in, looks up at the house; he bends down and picks up a handful of pebbles tossing them up at GIRL's window. She appears, beaming when she sees him. She disappears, reappearing out of a door and flinging herself into his arms.)

Boy: (smiling) Well, hi, there.

Girl: Hi, yourself.

(They walk downstage, into the cover of trees.)

Boy: (uncomfortable) I don't want to be here, you know.

Girl: (Girl's face falls.)
I should have known.
(She sighs, sitting down beneath a tree. He stares down at her, confused.)
It's all my fault, isn't it? I wasn't supposed to get attached, but I did.

Boy: No... it's...

Girl: (angrily) You said you never loved her. You said the only thing you liked about her was looks. You said...
(Starts choking up, voice breaking.)
You said you loved me.

Boy: I lied.

Girl: (thoughtfully) They never told me how hard it was.

Boy: Don't you want to know what happened? What I'm doing here?

Girl: They said it was going to be difficult, but they never mentioned this.

Boy: (frustrated) What are you talking about?

Girl: Helping someone cheat. It's supposed to be easier than this.

Boy: (Begins to pace, hands in his hair.)
God!

Girl: You can't handle a real relationship, can you? You only want someone to fool around with, don't you?

Boy: (Stops pacing.)
Jesus Christ! This is not about fooling around!

Girl: Isn't it? You took advantage of me.

Boy: (He collapses next to her, head in his hands.)
(mumbling) It sounds bad when you say it.

Girl: It doesn't sound bad when you think it?

Boy: No. It's so much easier when you can justify it to yourself.

Girl: (She sighs heavily.)
So, what are you going to do?

Boy: What choices do I have?

Girl: If you don't know, I'm not going to be the one to tell you.

(Boy looks at his hands; Girl looks at the stars. He puts his head on her shoulder. She looks down at him before taking his hand.)

What is this affair even about?

Boy: Everyone needs someone sometimes.

Girl: Sure, but I need commitment from that someone, not this undercover crap.
(Shakes her head in disbelief.)

Boy: (Boy takes his head off her shoulder and looks at her sincerely.)
I can give you that.

Girl: You're not ready for that. You couldn't do it for her; you can't do it for me.

Boy: Then why are you still holding my hand?

Girl: (desperately) I don't know.

Boy: I may not be much, but I can give you what you want. I'd be the perfect boyfriend. You know that.

Girl: (She looks down at the ground, crying.)
What do you even know about me?

Boy: Enough.

Girl: (frustrated) What's enough?

Boy: I know you cry when your mom leaves. I know you believe in ghosts, and you love John Mayer, and your bedroom smells like -

Girl: Stop.

Boy: Why?

Girl: I don't even know who you are. I don't think I ever did.

Boy: So get to know me. Would there be any problem with that? We could start all over. Just us. No one else.

Girl: (shaking her head) You don't mean that.
(She gets up, dusts herself off, and walks back towards her house.)

Boy: I - wait!
(He stands up, but she shakes her head, holding up a hand for him to stop.)

Girl: I don't need you.
(SHE goes back inside.)

Boy: (to himself) I come here to end it with her, and she ends it with me.
(Laughs humorlessly.)
Unbelievable.
(He looks up at her window before he exits.)

FINIS

Wow. That's depressing. I really like the way you portrayed the boy in the last line, for some reason that stood out to me the most. Overall though I could not see this being acted out on a stage. I think it is a great piece of writing but in my minds eye I can't transpose the image I have into flesh and blood, and that might be a bit of a problem. I don't know, maybe that's just me. I don't normally critique scripts even though I write them. Anyways, I hope what I said helps.

I'm not playwright, but here are my two cents:

-It was a little cliche. This themes has been done many times.
-I like how the girl left him in the end.
-I think at the beginning, they seem like they love each other a whole lot. It never seems very awkward until the end.
-You did a nice job at portraying the boy as a jerk (if that's what you were aiming for)


All in all, good job.

I liked this. Sure, the idea's been done, but hasn't everything?

The characters held their own in this, and the boy didn't seem girly to me, something I've always had some trouble mastering.

Girl: (thoughtfully) They never told me how hard it was.

Boy: Don't you want to know what happened? What I'm doing here?

Girl: They said it was going to be difficult, but they never mentioned this.

Boy: (frustrated) What are you talking about?

I really liked that whole exchange. It's very realistic to have them both on different trains of thought, saying them aloud but not listening to each other, and the frustration that comes along with not being heard when you have something important to say.

This was...interesting. To be honest with you I really wanted them to work things out in the end, but I suppose since he was a cheater it wouldn't work out. This script almost made me tear up a bit because I was screaming at my computer saying 'NO!NO! You fool!!!! Run after her!' , but I guess that's the rawness of this story. Love doesn't always end to well. Great job! Keep on writing! -Hailley