By Snoink and Grif
~
Characters:
Snoink
Griffinkeeper
Bella
Edward
Incan
Craig Ferguson
Teague
Author
PenguinAttack
Random Kittens
Bulbasaur
Plot: Edward and Bella come over at Snoink and Grif’s house for Halloween.
Scene: Inside Snoink and Grif’s house. Snoink is passed out on the floor in a sugar-induced hysteria. Grif watches, helpless.
GRIF: I hope that Edward and Bella don’t...
<The doorbell rings. Snoink giggles uncontrollably. Grif goes and opens the door. >
BELLA & EDWARD: TRICK OR TREAT!
GRIF: Sorry, Snoink ate all the candy.
<Snoink has another giggling fit. Grif quickly changes the subject.>
GRIF: So what are you?
EDWARD: I’m a vampire.
GRIF: You don’t look like a vampire. You need a better costume.
BELLA: I’m a ballerina!
<Bella trips over herself.>
SNOINK: I’M A LIZARD!
<INCAN randomly appears out of nowhere>
INCAN: I am CHIA PET!
EDWARD: That’s... very... nice.
BELLA: I’M CLUMSY!
<An elephant falls on Bella.>
EDWARD: I MUST PROTECT HER!
SNOINK: I MUST PROTECT... YOUR FACE!
GRIF: WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?
INCAN: WE’RE NOT SHOUTING, WE’RE TALKING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
GRIF: How does that all work out?
SNOINK: Manatee rhymes with Humanity!
<Craig Ferguson materializes into the scene.>
CRAIG: Does that remind you of anybody...
TEAGUE: OMG! CRAAIIIG!
<Epic flail. TEAGUE trips over BELLA.>
BELLA: I’M CLUMSY!
<An anvil falls on Bella.>
BELLA: OUCH!
SNOINK: I SPEAK IN ALL CAPS!
GRIF: Wait! What’s the point of this?
AUTHOR: Um...
GRIF: Wait, I’m the author.
AUTHOR: No you aren’t.
GRIF: Yes I am!
SNOINK: I’M A LIZARD!
AUTHOR: No you aren’t.
GRIF: Yes I am!
SNOINK: I’M A LIZARD!
AUTHOR: No you aren’t.
GRIF: Yes I am!
SNOINK: I’M A LIZARD!
AUTHOR: No you aren’t.
GRIF: Yes I am!
SNOINK: I’M A LIZARD!
AUTHOR: No you aren’t.
GRIF: Yes I am!
SNOINK: I’M A LIZARD!
AUTHOR: No you aren’t.
GRIF: Yes I am!
SNOINK: I’M A LIZARD!
EDWARD: This plot sucks.
TEAGUE: DUDE. This story has CRAIG FERGUSON IN IT. And it has a better plot than Twilight.
BELLA: I’M CLUMSY!
<A piano falls on her>
EDWARD: Yeah, but I scintillate.
<Edward scintillates>
SNOINK: Ooooooooh. It’s Christmas time! SHINY.
INCAN: See? Talking in all caps.
BELLA: OH MY GOSH, I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN HEART HEART LOVE LOVE ALL MY SOUL HEART LOVE EDWARD CULLEN.
<Antartica falls on Bella>
PENGUINATTACK: HAHAHA! NOW MY PENGUINS SHALL EAT YOU ALL UP!
ALL: OH NOES, A PENGUIN ATTACK!
EDWARD: Yeah... our story totally has a better plot.
TEAGUE: You suck.
BELLA: HE IS SCINTILLATING!
TEAGUE: Yeah... you suck too.
SNOINK: He is making fun of our story, Griffypoo!
GRIF: Uh... don’t call me that.
SNOINK: Avenge me!
<Grif and Edward suddenly gain the ability to fly. So they zoom around. Unfortunately, a Quidditch match is going on right near them and they both fall unconscious when a Beater narrowly avoids hitting a Spearow by crashing into them. They both have gangrene on their brains. Except for Edward. He doesn’t have a brain. Or at least that’s the rumor anyway. Charlie the Unicorn saves them both from narrow death before Charlie is sucked away by a vortex. Unfortunately, Bella is sucked away too because she trips into it.>
BELLA: I’M CLUMSY!
<A blackhole falls on her>
AUTHOR: Okay... that’s enough. THE EN--
<Random kittens come out>
RANDOM KITTENS: What did we learn on the show tonight Craig?
<Craig is too petrified to answer. But that’s okay because as soon as he opens his mouth...>
TEAGUE: ZOMG! ZOMG! ZOMG! CRAIG!
BULBASAUR: Bulba bulba bulbasaur!
TEAGUE: Shut up, you! Anyway, Craig, why didn’t you ever read my email?
CRAIG: Um...
AUTHOR: --D!
Gender:
Points: 3491
Reviews: 3821