Aside from "aw, shutup" (I don't think a kid would bother to say "aw" before shutup) nice language for the first graders.The situation is of course too short though; they meet and 2 minutes later lunch is over? Sweet, but I would have had the end joke be that Addie was telling the truth, Addie and Bradley don't sound enough alike for an audience to get it until a few seconds have past and by tha time it will have died.
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
Go to heaven for the climate or hell for the company.
The clothes make the man, naked people have little or no effect on society.-Mark Twain
the best part i think was the ending. especially the last two lines. good stuff. i agree with some previous replies though, addy says certain words that i never used.
Awe... I'm late, I guess. Not too late, right? That was so cute I had to read it twice. The end made me giggle. ^_^
-kittykat
Our happiness here is all vain glory,
This false world is but transitory,
The flesh is weak, the Fiend is slee
Timor mortis conturbat me.
--William Dunbar
I live in England so my school life's not as exciting as American High Schools but I have to say I absolutely love this. If you don't mind I would like to use part of it in a lesson, but I would like to ask your permission first (I do a Performing Arts course) so if i could borrow it and change the names and make it more 'British' (is that the right word?) I would love to use this. My teacher likes ordinary scripts like this, not fantasy or horror, so this would be perfect. PM me please with your answer, or alternatively just answer it in this form.
Snoink, you are a very experianced writer. At least, very ahead of me, but just keep up the work. You're doing great with the characters, personnalities, and matching the perfect details to your chosen plot. Keep it up!
Kendall- The best writer is never done improving his novels.
I thought this was well good quite funny but maybe have Addie as more of a Bad girl black hair ruined school uniform. lose tie always gum chewing, something like that, it would seam more like the kind of person who would be always getting into trouble, still very funny.
Oh this was so cute and really funny! It had a great concept. I loved it a lot! Awesome job Snoink! I loved the characters, especially Addie. The whole thing was very amusing.
Peace, Love and Sugar Packets~
Forever Threnody
“One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes” ~ The Little Prince~
Haha, win. Wish my elementary school experience was that amusing =P
Oddly, I've had a similar idea to this, 'cept that instead it involved about twelve people, a dead creative writing teacher, and a locked community college building.
'Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.' - Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald
I liked it because it seemed quite real. I mean, you always have a person that distracts so the others can run away .
SomethinG I don't get; the teachers didn't even run after Addie . She seemed nicer than normal. And another thing. A geeky person in trouble? Doesn't sound good. Tut tut tut Addie!
That's just the cutest play in the world! I loved it! Great job, Snoik.
You're more than wonderful More than amazing The irreplaceable Love of my life You're so incredible In these arms tonight The irreplaceable Love of my life
Hah. That was adorable. My favorite person is Addie, she reminds me of my little cousin Hailee, who is always trying to scare my littler cousin. Hah, I think I've read your work before. It's cute. Well, glad to read this!
.
. She seemed nicer than normal. And another thing. A geeky person in trouble? Doesn't sound good. Tut tut tut Addie!
Gender:
Points: 890
Reviews: 45