Young Writers Society

Act one, Scene One
SONG OF THE CENTURY
ACT ONE, SCENE ONE

(Curtains draw and lights rise to a dim glow revealing a city at sunset. 11 teenage girls (The Disciples of St.Jimmy) are scattered on the corner of Shame Street and East 12th Street. D1 looks around before calling out)
D1: Sing us the song of the Century
D2: Louder than bombs and eternity
D3: Era of static and contraband
D4: Leading into the Promised Land
D5: Tell us a story that’s by candlelight
D6: Waging a war and losing the fight
D7: Sing us a song of the century
D8: Panic and promise and prosperity
D9: Tell us a story into that goodnight
D10: Sing us a song for me
(All girls look around before pulling up their hoods, covering their faces, becoming The D1-10)
D11: Clear!
(A girl in her early twenties enters walking from Stage Right. This is Whatsername.)
W: All rise and be silent for St.Jimmy.
(A character walks onstage from SR, dressed in a floor length black leather trench coat. They have a ski mask on and all you can see are their eyes and mouth. On top of their head is a crooked Pope’s hat in black and red. This is St.Jimmy. The disciples all bow then stand in a semi circle around St.Jimmy (Sj) and Whatsername (W). Christian (C) follows them onstage, but stands off to one side, away from the group.)
*Exited improv chatter from the D’s*
(Sj snaps and they all get silent.)
W: Does anyone have any new news or plans for the utter destruction of The Facility?
(D’s shake their heads then talk in pantomime to each other, Sj stays quiet, and if they need to speak they do so through W. Enter Cop 1 SL (stage left). He starts to walk downstage but notices the disciples and talks into his radio. Enter Cop 2 SR. C yells and D1-5 run away SL, knocking down Cop 1. D6-10 flee SR but Cop 2 gets out of the way. C and W start to pull Sj SL and D11 starts to follow, but is shot in the chest by Cop 2. Sj tries to help.)
W: No we have to go, now! (Pulls Sj)
W: C’mon! (Sj reaches out, W spins to face Sj)
W: She’s Dead! There’s nothing you can do! (Defeated, Sj gets pulled offstage left.)
Cop 1: (Sighs and pulls back D11’s hood) She looks like she’s only twelve.
Cop 2: “St.Jimmy” is more of a beast than a Saint.
Cop 1: He deserves to die.
(Both Cops tend to D11 while curtains close and lights fade)

Hey there,
I'm going to start out by saying that I loved this! The beginning was deep and drew me right into the story. The only thing I will mention is a 'take it or leave it' thing that isn't going to hinder my enjoyment at all. I found the way you did character names (like D1 and such) got a little confusing even though I know why you did it. Just seeing a bunch of letters all over the place kind of made me a bit confused as to what was happening. Again, this doesn't mean you should change it or anything I will leave that up to you. Just my opinion.

All-in-all a very good set up for a play!

So American Idiot huh?

Well Bouton your imaginative ideas with dressing of your cast seems...promising. The idea behind the disciples or what not of St. Jimmy is something, though I wonder if this is too small of a sample to really show us depth. Right now you've given us a song more or less, yes, and it's blunt. The point is clear most definitely.

However there is an essential element in musicals and plays that calls for subtly, a reserved understanding for your audience's attention and the control of your work. It's fabulous if it is boisterous, absolutely. But it can't hit us with so much variety that we've not formed a relationship to the components of the work: our characters, the cast, the staging, etc.

Take a moment and divide your act here. What you have are a number of distinct climatic moments that could be acts or scenes themselves. What's unique and interesting about these moments. What's interesting in that, how am I drawn in and made to connect with what I see? Natural progression of plot and action will lead to your characters developing and will create sensical moments for drama and song. Pay attention to the soul of your work.