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Between "PILOT" part one



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Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:46 am
RoryLegend says...



So it has been quite a long time since I have posted on here! But I have religiously been working on this idea for almost two years...well not THIS idea exactly but I've been putzing around with this storyline (Fun fact in my original this was a book not a script and the main character was a chick!) Anywho, the past couple weeks I have once again changed so much about the story, the little things really, but I'm designing the storyline for a TV show. I might even use this PILOT in an application for a TV writing workshop application thing so I want to make sure it's golden ya know? So any help would be amazingly appreciated!

P.S... O.S. means off screen, so we can't see them! and CU means Close Up. OVER BLACK just means a black screen with words on it...fancy huh? You know it's a new scene when you see INT or EXT meaning inside out outside. That heading will be in all caps and the stuff after INT/EXT lets you know where your at and what time of day it is. CONTINOUS means it's still the same time and stuff is happening one after the other, it may just be from a different POV or something.

"BETWEEN"

TEASER

OVER BLACK --

MARTIN, INDIANA 1990

INT. CALEB'S HOME - NIGHT

The small farm is home to a family of three, HARRY, LILLY, and CALEB SAMUELSON.

In the kitchen LILLY is finishing up the dishes before going to bed.

Her loving husband, HARRY comes in from a long day of working on the farm and gives his wife a kiss.

HARRY Why don't you let me finish this up and you go to bed.

LILLY You're just trying to butter me up.

HARRY Maybe I am.

HARRY takes the dish from LILLY and finishes drying it.

LILLY starts to walk up the stairs then stops and turns.

LILLY CALEB and PETE are asleep so be quiet when you come up.

HARRY Alright honey, be up in a second.

HARRY continues doing the dishes while LILLY goes upstairs.

HARRY pulls a knife out of the sink and washes and dries it. He goes to put it away but then very subtle, something flashes in his eyes.

He drops the dish towel and grasps the knife then turns and runs up the stairs.

INT. CALEB'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The superman theme bedroom is dark, save for one plug in night light illuminating a home made tent inside of which two young boys are sleeping.

The night is silent until pounding footsteps can be heard bounding up the stairs.

YOUNG CALEB sits up and looks at the closed door. He nudges YOUNG PETE who rolls over and yawns.

YOUNG PETE What?

YOUNG CALEB Do you hear that?

SUDDENLY the door bursts open and HARRY is standing in the doorway, wielding the knife.

INT. HARRY AND LILLY'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

LILLY is just getting into bed when she hears a door burst open in the hall and SCREAMS.

She bolts up and yanks her bedroom door open.

She sees HARRY advancing on a cowering CALEB. Her eyes advert to the knife in his hand.

LILLY HARRY what are you doing!?

HARRY looks back at LILLY and smiles deviously before grabbing CALEB's arm and stabbing him one, two, three, four times.

CALEB screams and cries out in pain before his father drops him to the ground.

LILLY runs across the hall and falls next to CALEB, attempting to sheild him, protect him like she failed to seconds before.

HARRY drops the knife and his hands start to shake.

His eyes flash again and he takes a gasp of air.

HARRY Wh-what happened?

LILLY (crying)What have you done?

HARRY looks at CALEB's limp body, then at his wife, then at PETE who's hiding in the corner of the room. HARRY turns and runs out of the room.

INT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT

CALEB is lying bloody on a stretcher being rushed down the hospital halls by nurses and a doctor. LILLY is running behind them holding onto PETE's hand.

The stretcher pushes through a set of double doors and LILLY and PETE come to a halt, watching CALEB disappear.

In the waiting room LILLY is sitting in a chair with PETE in her lap.

PETE's dad, the town Sheriff, and his mother come in. EMILY WARNER takes PETE from LILLY and hugs her. JACK WARNER pulls out his pad of paper and sits next to LILLY.

JACK WARNER I know this is hard LILLY, but I'm gunna have to ask you some questions, okay?

LILLY nods.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO


OVER BLACK--

MARTIN HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION, 2002

EXT. MARTIN HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

The whole town of MARTIN sit in folding chairs watching the 103 graduating seniors and listening to the Valedictorian give his speech.

PETE I only have one thing left to say my fellow graduates, and that is (raises his voice) Congratulations class of 2002, kick some ass!

The procession receives their diploma and hats fly in the air.

The crowd disperses into smaller groups as families pose for pictures and friends hug.

CU on CALEB, all grown up. He smiles at someone advancing on him O.S.

PETE O.S. What did you think? Inspiring?

CALEB Are you allowed to say 'ass' in a graduation speech?

PETE slings his arm around CALEB.

PETE What are they gunna do? Expel me?

CALEB I guess you're right.

CALEB ducks from under PETE's arm.

CALEB I think I'm gunna head home.

PETE Oh no you don't!

CALEB Aw, come on Pete!

PETE No, you are coming with me to partake in the ever so delightful event of posing while our mom's take pictures and smiling until our faces fall off.

PETE looks at his mother, sister, and father and CALEB's mother standing a few yards away, cameras at the ready. His mother is already snapping pictures.

He waves.

CALEB My head is already killing me.

PETE How many times do I have to tell you to go see a doctor?

CALEB About as many times as I have to tell you it's just stress, I'm fine.

PETE See, you just said you're fine, picture time!

Beat.

CALEB Fine! (he sighs) Let's get this over with.

PETE That's the spirit. Hey, don't forget this is our graduation, it's their big day!

The two walk towards their awaiting families.

CALEB Bitter.

PETE Well my dad did manage to make six phone calls, two of them during my speech. Call guiness, we've got one for the books!

CALEB He is the Mayor.

PETE Yeah and the entire town is here at the graduation. Who could he possibly need to talk to?

They arrive at the group.

LLLY Look at you two! God I remember when you two were running around in the back yard playing cops and robbers.

She reaches up and fixes CALEB's hair, nostalgia glinting in her eyes.

PETE Yeah, I was always putting CALEB in his place.

CALEB And I was always escaping.

PETE We were under-funded! The jail cell was made out of old fence pieces.

PETE slugs CALEB in the arm.

EMILY WARNER Alright you too, enough goofing off, picture time!

CALEB and PETE stand next to each other. PETE flashes a well rehearsed, award winning smile and a thumbs up. CALEB hates taking pictures but manages a half smile for his mom.

FLASH.

EXT. MARTIN HIGH SCHOOL - CONTINUOUS

CALEB and PETE are trudging across the field to the parking lot. PETE is toting MADISON on his back.

Their parents are trailing behind. LILLY and EMILY are chatting and looking at the photographs while JACK is attempting to get reception on his cell.

PETE What are you doing tonight?

CALEB I don't know. Nothing probably.

PETE Wrong. We're going to a party in the city.

CALEB No, I don't want to, no.

PETE Yes! Come on CALEB! This party is like the party to end all parties. Not that you would know because you've never been to one.

MADISON I thought you told MOM and DAD you were going to Uncle Carl's house for the night.

PETE lets MADISON down off of his back and leans down until they are eye to eye. PETE is a tall guy with nice 'football player' build.

PETE I am, after the party. MOM and DAD don't have to know about this party do they?

MADISON No they don't have to.

MADISON sticks her hand out.

PETE sighs and reaches into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. He opens it and shuffles around pulling out a crisp twenty dollar bill.

He hands it to her.

MADISON 20 dollars? You know there is this pair of shoes I want and I'm sure dad would be happy to fund my shopping trip for a little insider information.

PETE nods his head and reaches back into his wallet pulling out another 20.

PETE A snitch and a crook. I've taught you well.

MADISON takes the money and spots some friends O.S.

MADISON It's been a pleasure doing business with you. See ya later.

PETE Bye brat.

MADISON Bye. Bye CALEB.

CALEB See ya.

MADISON runs over to her friends O.S.

CALEB You are such a push over.

PETE I feel bad for her. She has four more years of...(looks back at his parents)This.(beat) Anyway, party, tonight.

CALEB No.

PETE Come on!

CALEB No, Pete, no!

PETE Kailey's gunna be there.

CALEB (beat) Fine. What time?

PETE Woo ~hoo!(he pumps his fist in the air) Eight o'clock (beat) Ish.

INT. CALEB'S ROOM - NIGHT

CALEB is darting around his room looking for a clean shirt. He grabs a plain white v-neck from the floor and looks up to see a figure in his door.

He takes a step back, figures in the doorway remind him of something he just wants to forget. But it's just his mom.

LLLY Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.

Her eyes fall over the four scars on his torso. His gaze follows hers and he quickly pulls his shirt over his head to cover up the reminders of the past.

CALEB It's fine, I just didn't see you there.

LILLY You going out?

CALEB Yeah, PETE and I are going to his Uncles.

Beat.

LILLY I am so proud of you. Your father would be too.

A dark look falls over CALEB's face.

CALEB What makes you think I care if he's proud?

LILLY CALEB he loved you.

CALEB Yeah, to death.

LILLY I can't explain what happened that night, no one can, but you have to let it go.

CALEB I don't want to talk about this, not today.

LILLY I worry about you, that's all. You keep it all inside, you never let me in. I don't even think you let PETE in.

CALEB It's just better that way.

LILLY Better or easier?

CALEB Mom!

LILLY I just want you to be happy.

CALEB I am happy.

LILLY It'll be better when you get out of this town.

CALEB grabs his leather jacket from the end of his bed.

CALEB I've been thinking about that. I don't have to go.

LILLY CALEB we have already talked about this.

CALEB I talked to JIM, he said he'll give me a job at the garage. I can stay around and help you take care of this place.

LILLY I don't want you to! I want you to go to school, and meet a pretty girl, get a nice job and a nice house and give me some grandchildren. Okay?

Headlights flash in the window. PETE's there.

CALEB I'll see you tomorrow?

LILLY Yep. Have fun. I love you.

CALEB I love you too.

CALEB gives his mom a quick peck on the cheek before heading out the door.

EXT. CALEB'S HOME - CONTINUOUS
CALEB cuts through the lawn and jumps into PETE's beat up old Chevy, slamming the door closed.

PETE Jesus Christ, easy there pal.

PETE rubs the dashboard in a loving, tender way.

PETE He didn't mean it baby.

CALEB Get a room.

PETE Hey don't throw your teen angst at me!

CALEB I'm sorry. It's just my mom. (beat) She started talking about my dad.

PETE throws the car in reverse and pulls out of the gravel driveway onto a country road. He flips his high beams on. PETE's dispostiton changes, darker.

PETE Oh.

The same dark look that spread over CALEB's face at the mention of his estranged father now spreads over PETE's.

CALEB Yeah. She went on about how he loved me and would have been proud of me.

PETE He probably did and he probably would have been. We'll never know.(beat) Enough doom and gloom my friend, we are out to enjoy ourselves tonight!

PETE fiddles with the tuner before finding a classic rock jam, an R.E.O. Speedwagon jam and he rolls the volume dial all the way up.

EXT. THE PARTY - THE CITY - NIGHT

PETE and CALEB park at a house set on a lake. The house is secluded, far away from anyone else, but huge. Mansion like even.

Cars are parked at every angle outside the house. The house is throbbing with some rap song and bursting with drunk teenagers.

Dancing, drinking, drugs...it's the party to end all parties.

INT. PETE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

CALEB waits while PETE checks his appearance in the rear view mirror.

CALEB gets a sudden pain in his head, another head ache.

PETE Dude, what's wrong?

CALEB Just another headache. Don't say it!

CALEB is referring to the fact that PETE was just about to advise him to see a doctor. PETE's mouth clamps shut and he reaches into the back seat.

He shifts things around until he returns with a prescription pill bottle in hand.

PETE Here you go.

He dumps two pills into CALEB's palm.

CALEB What are these?

PETE They're for migraines. I swiped 'em from my dad. He takes one every time my mom starts to talk. It's probably why they're still married. Well that and keeping up appearances of course.

CALEB Why do you have them?

PETE Because you constantly arguing with me gives me headaches now shut up and swallow.

CALEB shrugs and tosses the pills in his mouth.

EXT. THE PARTY - THE CITY - CONTINUOUS

The two friends walk towards the house. PETE looks up at it wild eyed while CALEB seems bored.

CALEB Who's house is this?

PETE BAILEY's. It's her family's summer house.

CALEB BAILEY STEVENS?

PETE No, that's virgin BAILEY. I'm talking about BAILEY from Physics.

CALEB Oh. That BAILEY.

PETE Yes.(smiles deviously) That BAILEY.

INT. THE PARTY - THE CITY - CONTINUOUS

CALEB and PETE squeeze through the vibrating crowd of celebrating teenagers attempting to reach the kitchen door.

A girl, SERENA, is headed in the opposite direction of the boys. She presses past them making flirtatious eye contact with CALEB. Her scarlet hair is eye catching.

CALEB stops and watches her disappear into the crowd. He feels a connection to her.

PETE grabs the collar of CALEB's leather jacket and drags him towards the kitchen.

PETE Come on, were getting drinks first.

INT. KITCHEN-THE PARTY-THE CITY - CONTINUOUS

The kitchen is stocked full of cases of beer and a half dozen kegs are hiding in the pantry. The classic red plastic cups are scattered all over the counters, some half filled, some toppled over.

PETE What do you want?

CALEB looks back as the kitchen door swings open and shut. Someone else has entered the kitchen but CALEB is looking past them into the party, trying to find that girl.

PETE Um, earth to CALEB.

CALEB turns back to PETE.

CALEB Sorry, I'm good actually.

KAILEY Hey PETE, hey CALEB.

PETE Hey KAILEY, fancy seeing you here.

KAILEY Yeah, I wasn't going to come but pretty much everyone else is here so I figured why not? (she glances up at CALEB)

PETE Yeah, us too. Isn't that right CALEB?

CALEB is obviously distracted, his eyes glued to the kitchen door.

CALEB What? Yeah? (he turns back to PETE and KAILEY) I'll catch ya later, okay?

PETE(flabbergasted) Catch ya later? Where could you possibly be going?

CALEB isn't the social butterfly type.

CALEB I'm just gunna look around.

PETE Look around?

CALEB Are you going to repeat everything I say?

The kitchen door swings open again and PETE takes the momentary distraction to scoot closer to CALEB and lowers his voice.

PETE Correct me if I'm wrong but you're telling me that the girl that you've had a crush on since the 3rd grade is right here, obviously interested and you're going to look around?

CALEB Uh, yeah.

CALEB catches the door before it swings closed and slips out into the party.

PETE turns back to KAILEY.

PETE So, you're going to what school again?

INT. DANCING-THE PARTY-THE CITY - CONTINUOUS

CALEB looks around, scanning the crowd for a glimpse of the girl. He's really not himself, but the connection he felt when he saw her was enticing.

He spots a glimpse of red hair rounding a stair case and disappearing.

CALEB pushes through dancing couples until her reaches the staircase, stopping at the base.

The only light is the strobe lights of the party and a faint, eerie light up at the landing.

CALEB takes the stairs one at time, cautious.

He reaches the landing and see's that the faint light is moonlight, pouring in through a set of French doors that lead out onto a balcony.

But the hallway is long and dark, the music has muffled only slightly and he takes the journey down the hallway just as cautiously as the stairs.

He reaches the doors and slowly pulls them open, a burst of fresh night air hits his face and ruffles his hair.

CALEB steps out onto the balcony and leans against the smooth, white rail daring a glance down at the still water that the balcony is situated directly above.

He lets out a low whistle.

GRIFF Nice night.

All of CALEB's senses tighten and he turns to see in the dark corner, where he failed to look, is a figure.

The man is about his height but bigger, more muscular, and his face is still in shadow, but only for a moment.

GRIFF steps into the moonlight and gives CALEB and almost convincing smile.

GRIFF Didn't mean to scare you.

CALEB You didn't.

GRIFF It's crowded down there. Were you looking for someone?

CALEB (shakes his head) No, not really.

A voice comes from behind. It's the girl he'd been looking for.

SERENA Well, that just hurts.

But before CALEB can turn to look at the source of the voice a bullet rips through his heart.

Blood splatters onto GRIFF's face and shirt and a look of annoyance sweeps over him.

CALEB slumps dead over the rail revealing the fiery red hair and enticing face CALEB had been searching for, gun in hand.

GRIFF You know I liked this shirt?

SERENA You'll get over it. Was it really necessary for me to shoot him?

GRIFF Yes it was.

GRIFF tosses CALEB's body over the rail and into the water, it hits with a soft splash.

GRIFF He'll be fine.

END OF ACT ONE

copyright RORYLEGEND 2010

Okie dokie! Thanks for reading that, I know it was long! I hope it kept you entertained. This is just the TEASER and ACT ONE, so that's about two commerical breaks! (Yes lady's and gents I did my research on formatting!) I'm supposed to leave you with cliffhangers! I haven't quite finished it all yet but if I get some people interested in reading more I'll definately post the next two acts for disection! And hopefully I'll finish soon (why do I do most of my writing at 2 am??) BE BRUTAL!
Thank you bunches friends!!

Love and stuff,
Rory
Last edited by RoryLegend on Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, and I promise you something great will come of it.

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16 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 16
Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:05 pm
alwaysbeininspired95 says...



HOLY MOLY. this is INcredible. I loved it, and had an extremely clear picture in my mind all the way through. The only thing that confused me at first was all the different characters, because there were so many at first, but that's probably just my A.D.D. or something ;) anyways, I really enjoyed how you mixed light and dark themes together so well, like humor with horror. I'm pumped to read more!! :)
"I thought we'd be dead at step one, so this is going great."
  








That, sir, is the most frightening battlefield in the world: the blank page.
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