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Tue May 18, 2010 3:43 pm
deleted3 says...



This post has been deleted
Last edited by deleted3 on Mon Jun 07, 2010 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Love to Live, Live to Love <--- My Motto
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Sun May 23, 2010 3:59 pm
eldEr says...



Woah... nice! Did not see that one coming at all!
I really liked this last scene, it was really good!
I don't have anything to point out... That whole twist was an amazing ending. Very, very nicely done! Sad it's over though... I loved reading this!
Thanks so much for keeping me up to date!
Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl.

got trans?





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Mon May 24, 2010 3:38 pm
Sins says...



This isn't really a review; sorry! It's just that I can't really find much to critique here at all. Especially not something that I haven't already mentioned before. Your grammar was great and so was your spelling.

I agree with Isha, I didn't see that coming. That's something you're really good at, creating twists in your scripts. I really do congratulate you for that. Your characters are also very interesting and unique. I also applaud you for that. Sorry I'm not much help at all... :|

Keep writing!

xoxo Skins
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.





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Tue May 25, 2010 2:42 pm
borntobeawriter says...



Sorry for the delay! Hey Ember!!

Okay, well, that was definitely unexpected but it was a great end to a great play.

Now, for an overall review. I'm not familiar with screenplays but I'll give you a review as a story writer. Certain things I would have liked to know like: Was Mark 'in on it' the whole time or had Vivica recently recruited him?
I also would like to have a few transitional chapters/scenes between those for some explainations. I understand that Vivica was all Andrea had but how could she have hidden the immence wealth from her? Were they living in poverty or well?

Well, that's about it. I can say that I absolutely loved this whole play and would have loved to have seen it played. You did a great job creating very vivid characters, great work!!

Hope this helps, keep more screenplays coming!!

Tanya :D








A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language.
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