z

Young Writers Society


The Bully's Angel



User avatar
182 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 37408
Reviews: 182
Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:14 am
AspiringAuthorA..M. says...



This is a play that I wrote last year in my Theatre. It was for a musical project that the teacher assigned for the class. She had us break up into groups. (Not my favorite thing)
So what we were supposed to do is write a script, choose a minimum of two songs, and make our own choreography to go with the music. Back then I was able to do that Matrix thing that Nero, (Keanu Reeves) did in the movie THE MATRIX. I never got to do it on stage, because my group was too stupid to go on with the entire play. It would have been easier done than said, if my group wasn't so immature. I wouldn't even have to act like I was about to walk them all to the stair rail and toss them over the edge. :P

The performance turned out terribly. The kids simply had no reason to even be in a Drama class. Anyway, I played the role of Mirk. Below you will see the list of characters I created.


The stage directions, which are in italics in my original version, did NOT transfer to here.
:(


The Bully's Angel
Characters:
Theodore: Theodore is an amazingly gifted child, despite his mental disabilities he strives to accomplish his dream of becoming an astronaut. He spends hours upon hours learning material that is above the level of even people of average intelligence understanding. Theodore never knew his mother since she died giving birth to him, and he is often haunted by thoughts of the mother he never knew. But, Theodore's greatest conflict is with the Bully Mirk, who enjoys taunting Theodore about his dream of going into space.

Dad: A single parent who has raised Theodore all by himself for the last 14 years, he doesn't look at his son Theodore as a slow child, but as an equal, if not more so for Theodore has the gift of seeing the beauty in others even if they don't see it in themselves. He only works during hours when Theodore is in school, he makes sure to get home before Theodore's bus makes it's stop in front of his house. Mr. Norris has no idea that his son is being bullied at school, though he does suspect that something is definitely going on in Theodore's life that he should know about.

Mirk Myers: Is a ruthless High School bully who along with his gang inflects fear upon his peers, especially Theodore who he particularly takes a liking in tormenting. Mirk has a broken relationship with his family. His father Anthony Myers is in prison for killing a pedestrian while driving while intoxicated. Mirk's mother Samantha Myers is constantly getting onto Mirk about his behavior at school and his habit of coming home late at night and never telling her where he's been. She is also one of the seven astronauts of the Alaska 202 to be sent into space May 7, 2009. Mirk is suffering deep down inside, and in a way his knack of bullying other people is a way of running away from confronting his emotions.

Roberto,"Sonic": Is Mirks best friend, him and Mirk often cut school and go and hit the arcades, grab a bite to eat, or just for the sake of not going through the rest of the school day as neither is really planning to pass school this year anyway. Unlike his friend Mirk Roberto isn't comfortable with Mirk's seemingly routine torment of Theodore.

Leprechaun: Is another one of Mirk's friends, he was given the nickname Leprechaun because of his red hair and his fondness of wearing green clothing. He is the rebel among Mirk's gang because unlike the others he has plans to make it through High School and actually do something with his life. His real name is Patrick King.

Newsman: A minor character who gives brief announcements about what is going on in the world.

Tom Thumb: Toby Wells is a minor character who makes only one appearance, he is the first kid in the story to be bullied by Mirk.

Setting: Modern day mid-2009



SCENE 1: Theodore is in the living room watching a news flash about the Alaska 202's mission to the moon tomorrow May 16, 2009.

Newsman: Tomorrow May 9, 2009 the Alaska 202 will be taking seven heroes to the moon making this the shuttles seventh mission into space...

Suddenly the television turns off, and Theodore's father comes into the living room holding a remote control.

Dad: OK Teddy, it's about time you get to bed.

Theodore: (Using a tone) Oh, come on dad, can I please watch the rest of the show I think it's about to be over anyways.

Dad: It's a news program Teddy, and I suppose it wouldn't hurt to briefly delay your bedtime.

Theodroe: Dad, what does briefly and delay mean?

Dad: Well, briefly means for a short time, and delay means to stop.

Theodroe: You mean like when you stop at a stop sign?

Dad: That's a way to sum it up.

Theodore: Thanks for dad, now can you turn the T.V back on?

Dad: Oh yes I almost forgot.

Theodores dad points the remote back at the T.V and turns it back on, but the newsman has already moved on to a different story.

Newsman: The swine flu that has spread overseas is cause for great concern as it may...

Dad turns the television off this time to call and end to the day.

Theodore: Thanks a lot dad I messed the stuff about the spaceship!

Dad: Don't worry there'll be more news about it tomorrow I'm sure. You sure are interested in space travel huh?

Theodore: Of course dad, you know I want to be a astronaut he when I'm all grown up.

Dad: And that you will be. Now off to bed space ranger you don't want to miss the yellow space shuttle to school tomorrow.

Theodore exits, his father looks in his direction and when Theodore is finally out of sight he lightly says:

Dad: I know you will be son.

The stage goes dark as lights go out.

SCENE: 2 Theodore is going through the hallways on his way to class. Mirk, Roberto and one other bully who Theodore does not know the name of are posted up on the wall busily in conversation. Suddenly Mirk gets a mischievous glint in his eye as a short Freshman walks by. Theodore hides behind a trash can.

Mirk: Hey guys look it's Tom Thumb! Grabbing the Freshman by his shirt.

Tom Thumb: Stop it, let me go I'm going to be late to class!

Mirk and his friends laugh.

Roberto: So how tall are you little man? Sarcastically

Tom Thumb: I'm tall enough, now let me go!

Mirk: Sonic, do you recon this fellow is as tall as Tom Thumb?

Roberto: I think he is Tom Thumb! As if he just scored a hundred on a quiz. Meanwhile Leprechaun is simply just posted up on the wall with his arms crossed.

At this point the Freshman is starting to show fear. Teddy is still crouched behind the trashcan fighting the impulse to make a run for it knowing the bullies would catch him if he did make a break for it.

Tom Thumb: Please let me go, I promise I won't tell on you!

Mirk: We could care less if you tell or not, now where were we...

Roberto: We were trying to decide what to do with our little fable buddy here.

The Freshman begins to thrash violently truly scared now, and begins to scream. His screams are quickly muted as Mirk covers his mouth.

Mirk: Alright this Fairy-Tale needs to have a bad ending to it.

Roberto: Lets just toss him in that trash can over there, that'll make for a messy ending.

Mirk: Perfect!

Theodore begins to shiver as Mirk approaches the trash can he is hiding behind.

Tom Thumb: Aghh! He screams as Mirk puts him in the trash can. Mirk's friends laugh so hard they have to catch their breath.

Mirk: Well look who we have here it's the Special Astronaut! Mirk discovers Theodore behind the trash can.

Theodore: Please Mirk you don't have to do this.

Mirk: Wow wow wow, hold your tongue buddy! Mirk suddenly pauses in thought like he is actually thinking about letting Theodore go. But his moment of thought is interrupted by Leprechaun.

Leprechahn: Mirk, you oughta steal his lunch money that's always a classic!

Mirk: Why would I want his lunch money? Mirk glares at Leprechaun.

Theodore: I don't have any money with me anyways.

Roberto: Do you want Mirk to let you go man? Asking Theodore with genuine sympathy in his voice.

Theodore: I, I... I guess so. Timidly

Mirk: Oh, you guess so! Laughing

Theodore is still crouched down behind the trash can trying to make sense of what is happening.

Theodore: What's so funny?

Mirk: Whats so funny? You're what's funny!

Leprechaun: Yeah, you should totally forget your dream of going to space and became a funny guy instead.

Theodore finally gets up off the floor.

Theodore: No, becoming an astronaut is my dream, and I will never give up!

The three bullies howl with laughter. As they are laughing Theodore makes a break for it, but is suddenly grabbed from behind by Mirk.

Mirk: Thought you'd get away this time huh?

Roberto: How about you cut the kid some slack man you can't keep treating him the way you've been treating him lately.

Mirk: I never knew you had a sensitive side Roberto, guess I learned something new about you today.

Leprechaun: Hey dude you know how he wants to go into space and all?

Mirk: Yeah.

Leprechaun: How about you launch him into orbit? Pointing to the petrified Theodore.

Mirk: You hear that Theodore you want to go into space? Nodding toward Theodore.

Theodore: No Mirk, I want to go to class now!

Mirk: Three, two, one, blast off! Twirling Theodore back and forth like the pendulum of a grandfather clock. Upon saying blast off Mirk throws Theodore off the stage. Looks like the Theodore IQ45's launch came crashing back down to Earth.

Roberto: You really need to stop messing with him I(stammering) just can't believe someone can be so cold blooded.

Mirk: What, so I threw the kid. Turning around and pointing to Theodore as he gets up and walks off looking unhurt non the less( The audience doesn't see Theodore). See he's fine, no broken bones, he might have a bruise or two though.

Roberto: Even if you don't at least feel a bit of pity for the kid know that if he tells about the way you've been treating him it could mean juvenile hall and a big fat ticket for you ,me, Leprechaun here, and the rest of our boys.

Leprechaun: Well it may only mean juvenile for us, but for Mirk being eight-teen it could mean prison. And hasn't your mother suffered enough grieve because of you?

Mirk: Hehe, who cares she won't even be on this planet for who knows how long.

Roberto: Oh right she's going into space today isn't she?

Mirk: Yeah, and that means it's party time!

Leprechaun: But what will your daddy think? Sarcastically

Mirk: I've told you, he doesn't have to do anything with my life anymore!

Roberto: So you've never gone to visit him?

Mirk: For all I care he can rot in his little jail cell for eternity.

Leprechaun: That is cold man, you can't seriously mean that.

Mirk: This chats been nice, but how about we go skip first period by going to the weight room.

Leprechahn: You guys go ahead I have a presentation about global-warming I'm supposed to be giving this period.

Mirk: What are they going to give you a life time supply of Lucky Charms for giving a measly presentation?

Leprechaun: No I'm just planning to graduate with my class, something you two should be planning on doing to.

Roberto: We have too many absences, we won't be getting credit for this school year anyway.

Leprechaun: Well see you guys later, perhaps. Walking off.

Roberto: Hey, you think that camera up there saw what you did? Pointing upward.

Mirk: If you look closely you'll see I covered the lens up with tape.

Roberto: And so the master-mind always plans before hand. Sighs

The two friends walk off stage.

SCENE 3: Theodore enters his house his father is there to greet him as always.

Dad: Theodore, how nice to see you!

Theodore: You called me by my full name.

Dad: Why of course, Teddy was becoming a bit dated don't you think?

Theodore: Yeah, it was a pretty stupid name.

Awkward silence.

Dad: So how was your day?

Theodore: It was fine. Coldly

Dad: Is their something your not telling me?

Theodore: No dad, everything was good at school today. After saying that Theodore holds his breath hoping his dad won't ask any further questions about school.

Dad: Well, OK lets head on to the kitchen.

Dad Turns his back to Theodore and begins walking toward the kitchen. Theodore breathes out lightly the air he was holding in and follows his dad walking without enthusiasm.

Dad: So Theodore you hungry for anything?

Theodore: No I'm still full from lunch at school. I'll just head up to my room to study.

Dad: OK but, be sure and be down for supper, I've finally mastered how make enchiladas that actually taste like enchiladas.

As he starts to head to the stairs Theodore says...

Theodore: That's what you said last week dad. Lightheartedly

Dad: Just you wait Theodore.

Theodore: OK Dad, I hope this time you did make enchiladas that don't taste like feet and pepper.

Dad: Feet and pepper, good one Theodore.

Theodore exits the stage and the scene ends.

SCENE 4: This scene takes place in Theodore's room and is the first time music is used. The song played is Behind Blue Eyes, since I'm not really into music I just looked up some videos on youtube that had music in them that would probably work for this musical play. The following characters are in it: Theodore who is the singer, and as the chorus are all the other characters except dad and the newsman. Theodore is the sad man, Mirk (Me) is the bad man, Theodore is the first to do the "L" "I" "M" "P" using sign language leg movement and a final pose followed by Tom Thumb, Mirk, Roberto, and finally Leprechaun. The scene is about Theodore and his emotions. Theodore's room is full of drawings of space shuttles and planets, and a couple of other space travel related symbolism. (The choreography at this point has not been fully implemented in my groups mind yet).

SCENE 5: Theodore meets up with his dad in the living room.

Dad: I guess you were right Theodore my enchiladas are still proto-types.

Theodore: Proto-type like an original invention?

Dad: You've really been doing your research huh?

Theodore: Yes dad no matter how much I feel like giving up I never do.

For a moment dad seems to be in complete awe about how dedicated his mentally handi-capped son is in his research about a dream he may never achieve, he is so touched that he has to fight the impulse to shed a few tears. Instead he just hugs his son. Suddenly the house shakes immediately dad grabs Theodore and pulls him under a table. (Someone backstage will be clanging boards together, and dropping objects)

Dad: Get down under the table!

Theodore: Whats happening dad? In complete fear.

Dad: I think it was an earthquake.

At this point there are no more tremors, at the complete stillness dad ponders on why an earthquake would end so abruptly. The kid backstage stops making noise.

Theodore: Is it over? Theodore starts to get out from under the table, but he is pulled back under by his dad.

Dad: Get back down here there might be after shocks!

Theodore: There's going to be lightning?

Dad ignores Theodore's question instead he just waits there with him for a couple of more seconds and then mutters...

Dad: Goodness, I hope that wasn't the space shuttle.

Theodore: What? Quietly

Dad gets out from under the table, Theodore quickly follows.

Dad: Theodore I don't mean to cause concern, but I feel you must know... he pauses in mid sentence.

Theodore: Know what dad?

Dad: That the space shuttle Alaska may have crashed on it's way to the moon.

Theodore: You mean like the Columbia? Are all the astronauts dead? In a weak choking voice.

Dad: Maybe, but we aren't sure are we? Maybe it didn't

At this Theodore regains his composure.

Theodore: So what made the house shake then?

Dad: I don't know, but I'm going to go check how it is outside.

Theodore: Can I come with you?

Dad: It's best if you stay here and wait can you do that?

Theodore: Sure.

Dad: That a boy, I'll be right back.

Dad walks off the stage, Theodore sits down on the couch and waits patiently. After a few moments dad comes back in with a grim look on his face.

Dad: Mr. Lincoln across the street just informed me that he just saw a flaming object drop from the sky a couple of miles east of town... says he has no doubt it was part of the Alaska.

Theodore: Those people didn't die for nothing, their work will live on.

Dad: I know Theodore, and I'm going to help you every step of the way. He goes up to Theodore and embraces him. After They loosen their hug something suddenly dawns on Theodore.

Theodore: Dad, one of the astronauts was the mother of a kid at my school!

Dad: Well tomorrow be sure and give him your uttermost respect and sympathy, be sure others do the same.

Theodore: See dad... he's a bully and...

Dad: Just more the reason to show him some compassion.

Theodore: But dad...

Dad: Kindness is contagious son, and no one is immune to it.

Theodore: Hey dad?

Dad: Yes?

Theodore: Can we go to Mirk's mom's funeral?

Dad: Mirk huh? I'll see if I can arrange that.

Scene 6: It is a couple of days after the crash of the Alaska 202 and the death of it's seven crew members one of them Samantha Myers Mirk's mother. The scene starts with Mirk approaching his mothers tombstone he crouches down by it and weeps. Soon Theodore walks up behind Mirk he tosses a rose onto Samantha's tombstone and he lays a hand on the sobbing Mirks shoulder.

Mirk: Theodore?

Theodore: I'm here for you friend.

Mirk: After all I've done you can still call me a friend? He is truly touched that he begins to sob again.

Thedore: I know how it feels like to lose your mom.

Mirk: But you got to know yours! I had been taking her for granted every day of my life!

Theodore: I never got to know my mom either Mirk, but I do know that she wanted to see me with all her heart.

Mirk: How did you ever get over your pain?

Theodore: For years I would cry almost every night just thinking about her until my dad told me their would be a day when I would see her again.

Mirk: That's what that preacher at my mothers funeral said. Brushing Theodores hand off his shoulder.

Theodore: So now all you have to do is believe.

Mirk: But I just can't!

Theodore: Yes you can and I'm going to help you.

Mirk: Nobody can help me. Mirk gets up on his feet.

The second musical segment starts and "Apologize", by One Republic plays. Mirk is the singer accompanied by the following characters as the chorus Theodore, Roberto, Leprechaun, and a shadowy grim reaper like figure. At a point in the song the shadowy figure takes off it's black robe and underneath he a bright figure in white.

After the song ends the chorus members go off stage leaving only Theodore and Mirk.

Mirk: I just wish I could have told her I was sorry for all the grieve I've caused her. His voice comes in choked sobs.

Theodore: You still can.

Mirk: I wish I could believe you.

Theodore: You already believe you just don't know it yet.

Mirk: Please, Theodore stop it your not helping...

Theodore: You don't just have me to help you, you have your friends and your father.

Mirk: My father is in prison he can't even help himself. I'm pretty much an orphan now! But, I suppose I can manage living on my own.

Theodore: My father went to visit your dad he says he doesn't know what a man like him is doing in jail.

Mirk: My father deserved what he got...

Theodore: It was only because your dad made one wrong choice, but now he has truly seen what he has been missing.

Mirk: Which would be what?

Theodore: You.

Mirk: Me?

Theodore: My dad told me all your dad did was ask how you were doing, and that he couldn't stand missing you grow up.

Mirk: Impossible, my dad never cared about me before.

Theodore: Here he wrote this letter for you. Theodore pulls a neatly folded letter out of his pocket and hands it to Mirk who gingerly unfolds it and reads it.

Mirk: Love always...Dad. Theodore.... ?

Theodore: Yes, Mirk?

Mirk: Thank you.

Theodre: Nods his head.

Mirks cell-phone begins to ring he answers it.

Mirk: H-hello? Pause

Mirk: Are you serious. Ecstatically, with a hint of his previous sadness. Pause

Mirk: Only on one condition. Pause

Mirk: Can I bring two people along? Pause

Mirk: Well I want my father Anthony Myers and my friend Theodore Norris to accompany me into space. Pause

Mirk: So we have to go through some basics before we go through some basic training you say? But hey will it matter if my friend is how should I put it to you... not up to our level of intelligence. Pause

Mirk: And how about my father who has been locked away for the last three years? Pause, Theodore notices a crushed expression on Mirk's face.

Mirk: It would mean everything for me and him if you could reconsider. Pause

Mirk: Sir!Pause

Theodre: Mirk, don't get angry. Soothing voice.

Mirk has a relived expression on his face.

Mirk: I will find a way there this instant if I have to,(pause) thank you. Mirk closes his phone and directs his attention to Theodore.

Mirk: Theodore, if it's OK by your dad you are going into space! At this news Theodore's face lights up with excitement.

Theodore: Yes, I'll be sure and let my dad know.

Mirk: Hey I should have asked if your dad come come along.

Theodore: You really think he can come along?

Mirk: I know he can.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26
  





User avatar
425 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 11417
Reviews: 425
Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:40 am
Nate says...



If you want to work on this, you need to spend a lot more time on it. I'm just going to address a few points, but you need to proofread this and really work at it.

You say that Theodore is a pretty smart kid, but he comes across as extremely stupid. A three year old knows what briefly and delay means. And while a kid may not know what an after-shock is, I'm pretty sure no kid would ask if it was lightning, especially since I'm guessing it's a clear day outside (otherwise the neighbor would not have seen the shuttle come down).

None of the bullies sound believable. Roberto suddenly has a change of heart for no reason. The Leprochaun guy is a bully, but tries really hard in school - those two things do not go together. Mirk is a bully who will not graduate from high-school, but has a mom who is an astronaut. Not only is his mom an astronaut, but he's invited to go on a shuttle mission himself despite having no chance of graduating high-school. It's good to make your characters unorthodox, but you have to make it believable as well.

The ending also doesn't match up. Are they just inviting anyone into space these days? Becoming an astronaut means decades of hard work; it strains belief that Theodore, a kid who doesn't know what delay means, could be invited as an astronaut.

I do like the general idea of the piece, but more time needs to be spent on it.
  





User avatar
182 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 37408
Reviews: 182
Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:07 am
AspiringAuthorA..M. says...



Nice, well I did write the piece in a matter of minutes. :D
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26
  








Poetry is like a bird, it ignores all frontiers.
— Yevgeny Yevtushenko