The Mitten
Characters:
KITTEN, the tiniest kitten
BUNNY and MOUSE, Kitten's BFFs
FOX, a confused and in love fox
ROX, Fox’s girlfriend
ACT ONE
All is quiet in Ubergaladalaba.
Enter MOUSE and BUNNY
MOUSE: The snow is shiny, sun's aglow
In the sky, there flies a crow
If we could sled on the plateau
My day would be complete; let's go!
BUNNY: Oh yes! A trip to sled I know
Would be perfect. Tally ho.
Enter KITTEN
BUNNY: Kitten, please, come and join us
Our sledding trip will be the best!
And you can tag along, unless...
KITTEN: Yes?
BUNNY: Uh-oh! Where'd it go?
I'm afraid the trip will be a no.
MOUSE: But I can sled like a pro!
BUNNY: But we shan't leave without our Kitten
And Kitten can't go without her mitten!
KITTEN: looks down at her paw Le gasp!
My glove has fallen out of my grasp!
BUNNY: You'll get cold without your mitten,
And no one wants a frozen Kitten!
Not on our sleds we'll be a-sittin'
Til Kitten finds her missing mitten!
MOUSE: I'll help you find your missing mitten
Even if it's in Great Britain!
BUNNY: Yes, yes, what Mouse said.
We'll find the mitten, then we'll sled.
KITTEN: Thanks, guys, you're my best friends!
Kitten looks up at the sky
Quickly, now, 'fore rain descends.
KITTEN, MOUSE, and BUNNY all exit
Enter FOX
FOX: Man, I wish I had a robot
To do everything a butler ought
And then I'd truly lack for naught.
FOX looks around the stage and notices something in the far corner.
What's this? What's this?
Is something here amiss?
FOX picks up a fuzzy pink mitten
Has someone lost their precious gauntlet?
Or left it behind, for myself to get?
Will someone miss it and be upset?
No, it was left on purpose, I bet
For one (such as me!) to find, not fret
No harm will come if I take the glove
As a suitable gift for my lady love!
FOX exits, clutching the mitten
ACT TWO
KITTEN, BUNNY, and MOUSE are in KITTEN'S bedroom.
MOUSE: We'll never find the glove this way
Not searching all the live-long day
And I'm hungry for a cheese souffle!
BUNNY: Should we save the trip for another day?
KITTEN: No! I really want to go
Please make it so, please make it so!
BUNNY: Well, maybe you could try and remember
When you lost it - was it in December?
KITTEN: Oh, I know I had the thing last week.
Curse you, mitten, whose warmth I seek!
I'm so frustrated I want to shriek!
BUNNY: No, no, dear, that won't solve a thing.
We'll find the glove and that we'll bring
To sled atop Mount Ding-a-ling.
We'll surely find it 'fore the spring.
KITTEN: I will go and check the park.
I could have dropped it in the dark.
ACT TWO, SCENE TWO
The park.
Enter KITTEN.
KITTEN: I can't believe I lost my mitten!
I am such a stupid kitten.
Enter ROX.
ROX: Hiya, Kitten, hey! Why the crying?
Stop your tears, your eyes need drying
And instead of sighing, we could be trying
To figure this problem out.
KITTEN: My mitten is what I'm sad about.
ROX: Well hey, we can totally find it!
Using our minds and our wit.
And until we do, we'll never quit.
KITTEN opens her mouth to say something, but just then FOX rushes in. He doesn't notice KITTEN. He kneels down beside ROX.
FOX: Rox, Rox, such a gorgeous fox!
You are the key to all the locks
On my heart! Let's drink whiskey (on the rocks)
And discuss our future in bonds and stocks.
Wait, don't speak, I have a present in a box.
FOX gives ROX a box. She opens it to find one pink and fuzzy mitten.
FOX: A mitten, a mitten,
For the one I am smitten.
KITTEN: That's my mitten.
FOX: Kitten?
KITTEN: On it, my name's written.
On my paw, it's a-fittin'!
ROX: Oh, I told you so, Kitten!
Fox, thank you for finding her mitten.
KITTEN: Yes, Fox, you are a dear.
You deserve a cheer: hear, hear!
And from my eye I wipe this tear
For I thought it had disappeared.
FOX: Uh...Yeah. Right!
I have indeed resolved your plight.
ROX: You are such a charming knight.
Come, while the stars shine bright
Let's get married. Yes, married, tonight!
FOX: 'Tis a dream of mine, on a midsummer's night,
To marry my love, and now it's in sight.
KITTEN: I'm afraid, Fox, on the contrary
The month right now is February.
FOX: Fiddlesticks.
ACT TWO, SCENE THREE
Atop Mount Ding-a-ling, KITTEN, MOUSE, and BUNNY are getting ready to have lots and lots of fun.
KITTEN: I'm so glad Fox has found my mitten,
Now I am a happy kitten!
THE END
Don't blame me! Blame anti-pop and her ridiculous contest! (#9).
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