Young Writers Society

I wrote this with 2 friends of mine, in maybe about 40 minutes. No offense to Hannah Montana fans or Twilight lovers, we just wanted to have a little fun with them. We don't know if it's worth writing Act 2 or if it's really funny, or if I have the right format since it's my first script. So let us know on both and we'd really appreciate it! Thanks so much and enjoy!

-Irish
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Characters:
Irishfire- Main character
Urface122- Other main character (also Irishfire's friend)
Hannah Montana - Airhead everyone wants gone
Edward Cullen - Just.....Edward what more can you say?
Bella Swan - Edward's love =3
Everyone else - Just random people we know and love (except the girls...them not so much..)

ACT 1
Hannah, Edward, and Bella all in one room.

Edward: Where are we?

Hannah: Is this where I'm supposed to warm up for my big concert?

Bella: Edward, I’m scared! Hold me!

*Bella runs into Edward's arms but trips over his foot and slams into a wall*

Edward: Oh Bella...

*Bella starts bleeding, somehow,magically......*

Edward and Bella: What the heck?!

Hannah: Well that’s more blood than...a really bloody thanger has!

Edward:...What?

*A portal opens and Harry Potter steps through* Ello, I'm Arry Potta!

*Voldement comes through the portal* I KILL YOU! AVADA KADAVRA!

*They jump back into another portal across the room*

Everyone else: .........Well that was odd…

*Urface112 and Irishfire appear in room*

Urface112: Ok we are NEVER going to ask him for advice again!

Irishfire: *screams* HANNAH MONTANA!

Hannah: Well hello there, I'm person who acts like a sweet person who is really an airhead who can’t sing at all!

Irishfire: KILL HER!

Hannah: Ok never mind I lied, that’s him! *pushes Edward in front of her*

*Bunch of other girls from Urface122 and Irishfire’s school show up as well as Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper Cullen*

Girls: EDWARD!!!

Irishfire: CARLISLE!

Urface112: JASPER!

Emmett: No one likes me.....

Hannah: I like you Emmett. *Tries to be flirty*

Emmett: ..........I suddenly think I like being alone!

Rosalie: WHAT DID YOU SAY EMMETT????

Emmett: .....ROSE I-*runs for life*

Rosalie chases after him, followed by Carlise and Jasper

Edward: AHH AHH GIRLS AHHH!! GET AWAY FROM MY DAZZELING-NESS! AHH AHH! I'M TOO HANDSOME!

*Bella sits on floor*

Bella: OW MY BUTT BROKE!

*Hannah starts to “sing” thinking she’s about to have a concert, Edward tries to fight off crazed girls and Bella screams about her now-broken butt*

*Irishfire and Urface112 watch the chaos*

Irishfire: Should we do something about this?

Urface112: ........Nah.

Irishfire: Those girls from our school are getting annoying though.

Urface112: Yea... Hey girls, Jacob Black is at our school!

*Girls poof out of the room*

Edward: Oh sweet Lord, for once I am thankful Jacob is on this earth!

Bella: MY BUTT IS STILL BROKEN HERE!

Urface112 and Irishfire: SHUT UP BELLA NO ONE CARES!

Edward: I DO!

Urface112 and Irishfire: SAME FOR YOU BUCKO MCDAZZLE

*Edward hisses*

Irishfire: Aww who’s a pretty kitty

Edward: …What is wrong with you?

Urface112: WRONG! YOUR FACE!

Urface112: SEE BELLA HE ISN'T ALWAYS RIGHT!

Bella: I think my butt is swollen....

Irishfire: Bella it was always like that.

Hannah: Ok…

Irishfire: Hannah, what are you doing?

Hannah: I’m looking for my brain; I think it fell out when I bent over to get my earring

Irishfire: a) Its defiantly small enough to do so, and b) That happened a long time ago.

*Dumbledore appears*

Dumbledore: Take my hand.

Irishfire: *looking from Dumbledore to Hannah* Here take her! *pushing Hannah toward him*

Hannah: Are you Santa Claus?

Dumbledore: .....uh...No... Just take my hand

*Hannah takes his hand and they both disappear*

Everyone: THANK YOU!

Urface112: No!

Edward: You’re not glad she’s gone?

Bella: Does no one care about my butt?

Irishfire: By George I think she’s got it!

*Harry appears again*

Harry: Was Dumbledore here a second ago??????

Everyone: Yes.

Harry: Oh my God! HES ALIVE!

*Harry disappears*

Everyone: …still odd.

Bella: I feel woozy! I think I'm internally bleeding now!

Irishfire: YAY! MAYBE YOU’LL DIE! *Gets attacked by Edward*

Irishfire: EDWARD, EDWARD, IT WAS A JOKE! JOKE FUNNY HAHA!
STOP TRYING TO KILL ME!
URFACE HELP! QUICK! *Screams*

Urface112: YES! EDWARD! KILL HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Irishfire: NOT WHAT I MEANT!

*Irishfire knees him in the stomach and rolls away as he writhes in pain*

Irishfire: To be honest I didn’t think that would work!

Edward: *grabs Irishfire* It didn’t.

Irishfire: Oh no…

*Another portal opens and Edward pushes Irishfire in before they can see who it is*

Bella: MY BUTT! OH MY GOD IT HURTS!

*Urface112 picks Bella up and chucks her in too*

Johnny Depp: OW!

Urface112: Oh my God ITS JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edward: Bella! NO WAIT I CAN CHANGE! DON'T GO!

*But before anything else can happen Johnny Depp disappears into the portal with Bella and Irishfire*


*Jacob Black appears and stares at Edward and Urface122*

Jacob: I lost… *begins to pick nose*

End Act 1
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Want to see act 2?

Check it out! : topic52381.html

Your story was very creative and funny, it was a random play but an interesting one which complements both features of it, good job.
Hope to see more written pieces from you,

Twilightzoner85

.....whoa....your thing was SICK!! its cool that you put Johnny Depp in it, and how did you come up with those names? it was AWESOMMEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHA!! Awesome. That was wicked cool!! you should right some more about it, it's so awfully funny. great parody!!! YOu've got a cool imagination.
Write some more about,plz. (if you wish)

pudin.juni

Hey Irish!
As random as this was, I have to say I Loved this!! It was well thought of and the humour was nicely done! Hey I hate em too, you know.
I love the mocking drama, but don't go too far with Harry Potter .
I also liked the way your character rules the story. And Bella and Edward's yuckfest was off the hook. Maybe you could have made it bigger. Since there aren't much to say about the characters, I'd suggest you should add more of the made-by-you ones, than the ones you mocked. But overall, I'd say, way to go!

Quote
"Starts to pick nose"
Haha! That was a good one!

I love your work Irish, it's awesome. Great job, teammate.

I loved this! Even though Twilight used to be my favorite book, I'm really starting to see why people hate those books so much. But, though this was absolutely hilarious, there are some things that I found to nit-pick.

*Bella starts bleeding
Somehow
Magically......*

I don't really get why this is separated into three lines; or why somehow and magically are capitalized. It would work way better if it was all one line and those words weren't capitalized.

Hannah: Well hello there, I'm person who acts like a sweet person who is really an airhead who can’t sing at all!

You should put 'a' or something between I'm and person.

Rosalie: WHAT DID YOU SAY EMMET????

Should be Emmett. Also, I saw that you put a lot of the script in all caps. It doesn't really help and it would be just as easy to type something like *Screams angrily* here as acting instructions. This just makes it look more professional, and caps can sometimes be a bit annoying if used too often.

Urface112: Yea... Hey girls, Talor Lautner is at our school!

*Girls poof out of the room*

Edward: Oh sweet Lord, for once I am thankful Jacob is on this earth!

I'm a bit confused here. Are these the actors or the real characters? If it's Taylor Lautner who they say is at their school, why does Edward say that he's thankful Jacob is on this earth?

Urface112: WRONG! UR FACE!

Never use chatspeak in writing. Ur should be Your.

All in all this is an awesome script, though it should probably be looked over more thoroughly for all punctuation and grammar mistakes. I can't wait to read more! Make sure you PM me if you post another act.

*Bella runs into Edward's arms but trips over his foot and slams into a wall*

Oh, Bella, how you cease to amaze me with your ridiculous clumsiness.

*Irishfire and Urface112 watch the chaos*

Irishfire: Should we do something about this?

Urface112: ........Nah.

Urface112: Yea... Hey girls, Talor Lautner is at our school!

Who is this guy, and when can I start to dread it when girls bring him up in conversation?

Bella: MY BUTT IS STILL BROKEN HERE!

Sorry, Bella, butt no one cares.

Bella: I think my butt is swollen....

Irishfire: Bella it was always like that.

*dies*

Bella: Does no one care about my butt?

No one.

*Jacob Black appears and stares at Edward and Urface122*

Jacob: I lost… *beings to pick nose*

Don't even want to know what he lost...

AMAZIN!

Hi irishfire!

This was awesome, and totally worth a second act.

Just a few things though,

Edward...What?

In some parts, you seem to forget to put punctuation in, so revise the lines and see where they are, because I noticed there were a few of them.

Jacob: I lost… *beings to pick nose*

Watch out for those grammar typos.

And that's about it! The only small confusing was the use of Edward and Taylor Lautner (fictional character and actor). Also, I loved how you threw Hannah Montana in there. I haven't read a parody script with her in it. So, funny! I loved it. Keeping an eye for that second act

-Kat-

hahaha.
you're awesome[:

loved it ! !

This is so, so funny. I could not stop laughing. You seriously did make me lol!!! xD Great work! I'm in a not picky mood right now so no proper review.

Some parts confused me a bit, but it seems to me like that was what you were going for.

By the way, for the title it should be; A vampire, a clutz, a REALLY bad singer, and two random girls. (You forgot the 'S')
~Mo.

P.S lol!
P.S.S I like random stories.

, nearly laughed my head off reading this, a job well done, all three of you are great at this!!

*A portal opens and Harry Potter steps through* Ello, I'm Arry Potta!

Nearly fell off the chair, especially when one knows what 'Potta' means in my language.

Irishfire: Should we do something about this?
Urface112: ........Nah.

Yeah, i agree, i laughed when i read this too but its kinda been use like about a hundred times before... one of these days I'm gonna get over laughing over this

Urface112 and Irishfire: SHUT UP BELLA NO ONE CARES!
Edward: I DO!
Urface112 and Irishfire: SAME FORI think it should be to here YOU BUCKO MCDAZZLE

Edward: …What is wrong with you?
Urface112: WRONG! YOUR FACE!
Urface112: SEE BELLA HE ISN'T ALWAYS RIGHT!

I'm confused, honestly confused here...

Irishfire: Bella, it was always like that.

Comma after Bella.

Irishfire: a) Its defiantly I think its definitely small enough to do so, and b) That happened a long time ago.

Dumbledore: Take my hand.

Creepy o.O

Harry: Was Dumbledore here a second ago??????
and
Harry: Oh my God! HES ALIVE!

Where's Harry's weird accent gone to?

Urface112: YES! EDWARD! KILL HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha, laughed a lot reading this!

I'm really sorry for the proper review but when i was reading it the second time whilst tying to stop laughing out load, these... points caught my eyes, But hope my critique was good!!

Brilliant! Keep it up!!