The Girl, the Serviceman, and The Boss: Act 1
Parts: Girl; (also says Girl’s Thoughts) Serviceman; The Boss
Girl’s Thoughts: I didn’t know that the computer would blow up on me, not at all. And when I had just gotten it the day before, too. I definitely didn’t enjoy that. But I had to have it fixed or there would be no more laptop fun. So I got on the phone and called a – supposedly— known electronics shop.
Girl: Hello? Hello? [Sighs in frustration while holding phone] Is anyone on the phone? My stupid laptop just blew up and I need some help...
Serviceman: [Gruffly and with a ‘hobo’ accent] yeah, there’s someone here. Whaddaya want? I can’t listen all day to some stupid account of a blown-up laptop, ya know. Peeps have tried in the past, but it never works, geesh. And who cares about the serviceman, huh? Nobody, that’s who; and those peeps expect me to be kind to trash like ‘em!
Girl: [In an annoyed tone] well, sorr-eee, but this is real. My parents are gonna lick me when they find out. They’re gonna think that I visited a website which had a virus which caused the laptop to blow up. So you’d better help me out, or I’m gonna… gonna…
Serviceman: [Interrupts the girl quickly and with a soothing tone] now, now, it’s all right. I’ll help ya, as long as ya agree to a condition. Only one condition ya have to agree too, all right?
Girl: [Sighs again] oh, very well. But wait— actually, that depends on what the condition is. If I accept the condition and I do whatever is needed, you fix my laptop. If your condition is not worthy of the task to be done on your part, I’ll find someone else. Agreed?
Serviceman: OK! Anyway, the condition is: ya need to work 2 hours each day at the shop from Monday-Thursday. (I’ll tell you the location of the shop later.) The times don’t matter as long as they’re two hours each day— the times can be different for each day if you want—and that they don’t disrupt either of our schedules. Agreed?
Girl: Alright! Agreed! I accept!
Serviceman: It’s so nice that ya agree to the condition for once. All the other peeps absolutely de-nied having anything to do with the condition when they’d agreed to the condition before. Seriously, those peeps were that bad. They were way out of it. But then again, do ya know much about fixing electronics? I doubt it. Anyway…
Girl: [Interrupts serviceman with an indignant voice] Of course I’ve had training on fixing electronic objects. My father was and still is the famous Dave Jumpser, the world leader in fixing computers, iPods, you name it! So you’ve got to be the stupidest, most idiotic object in the world if you think I haven’t received training from Dad. So there!
Serviceman: [Again with a soothing voice] Now, now, miss; there’s no need to fret. I just assumed that since ya was a gal that ya didn’t have training. That’s all, miss. I swear, honest-ta-goodness, I’m not lyin’. So please believe me here. Please! Ya gotta believe me!
Girl: [In an annoyed tone] actually, no. I don’t think so. No more Mr. Nice Guy. No way! If you think I’m gonna do those hours after what you said…no. I’m done with you. There are a lot of other actual real and nice servicemen and servicewomen that are totally unlike you. Good-BYE!!!!! [Girl hangs up phone]
Serviceman: [Also in an annoyed tone] ah, great. Now what? And I was hopin’ for a business opportunity here… [Continues to grumble as the phone rings again]
Girl: [With a wicked tone and smile on her face] heh. How’s this, Mr. Wise Guy? This is my answer to the condition you have, which changes any and ALL previous transactions and deals, etc. with you: no, no, and no. Did I mention— no. Ah, I just remembered— no. OK, I gotta go soon, but before I leave, I must say: no, no, no, and no. [Continues to say ‘no’ while Serviceman hangs up]
Serviceman: [Quickly hangs up and starts breathing heavily, ranting under his breath] that no good, mangy, stupid…
The Boss: [Suddenly appears at the door to the shop and has apparently been listening in on the whole conversation; with a stern, bossy voice] what’s that, Herbert? What did you say?
Serviceman: [Guiltily and with eyes darting about] n-n-nothing, Mr. Boss, sir. I didn’t say nothin’ at all. I swear to Gawd I didn’t say a-an-anything.
The Boss: Oh really? It seems to me, the High and Mighty Boss, that you’re lying. And do you remember what happens when someone lies to me?
Serviceman: [Laughs nervously and still glancing about, hoping for a distraction] ah, y-y-yes, Mr. Boss, sir. The rules in your Rule Handbook s-st-state clearly t-th-that anyone who l-lies to the High and Mighty Mr. Boss, sir shall be severely punished with torture, lashings, and removal of privileges.
The Boss: [Grins evilly from cheek to cheek] that’s right, Herbert. And what rule number is that again? Surely if you can recite it you know what rule number it has. I give you 10 minutes to think about it. When I come back, you must have the rule number completely memorized from heart with no hesitation or any other kind of pause except to breath, etc. Do you hear me? [Starts glaring at Herbert]
Serviceman: [Starts shaking under The Boss’ glare] y-y-yes, Mr. Boss, sir. As y-you wish, I will h-have it memorized w-with-within 10 minutes. Thank you. [Bows to The Boss]
The Boss: Yes, of course, Herbert. I believe you shall be perfectly ready when I’m done. [Leaves room, muttering under his breath that he hates the name Herbert]
Serviceman: [Starts panicking the instant The Boss leaves room and closes door behind him] now what am I gonna do? I don’t have the Rule Handbook with me, even though it says if ya don’t bring it with ya to the shop Mr. Boss will throw ya out of the shop, literally!! And if that happens— [Gulps loudly] I’ll have nowhere to go.
TO BE CONTINUED IN ACT 2
Gender:
Points: 890
Reviews: 2