FADE IN
INT. KIM’S HOUSE - KIM’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Kim is sitting on her bed and hugging her pillow tightly to her chest. She is crying, mostly silently, but with her entire body quaking.
TED (O.S. through the door):
Knock knock!
There is a thump and he abruptly stumbles in through the door, having pushed it open with his shoulder.
TED:
You’re slipping, Kimmy. Door wasn’t even locked this time.
He notices her condition.
TED:
Hey, you’re crying.
He says this in a way that is half-gloating, half-confused.
KIM:
Go away.
TED:
As if. What’s your problem?
KIM:
I don’t want to talk to you.
TED:
And I’m amazingly persistent and persuasive. What’s the matter with you, partner?
KIM:
You ate them.
Ted rolls his eyes.
TED:
Not this again.
KIM:
So what happens to everyone else? All those people that worked with them? That knew them? It’s only been a few days since you guys were out. How did they get jobs? Coworkers?
Ted sighs and sits down on the bed next to Kim.
TED:
In case you haven’t noticed, dreams can be very convincing. It just takes a bit of persuading. People will believe anything if you tell them in the right way. Notice how you believed me with minimal explanation. It’s like innate dream knowledge…
KIM:
So what happens to them now?
She breaks down into sobs again.
TED:
Are you really crying over complete strangers? You are such a whiny baby. They’re fine, okay? You wake up from a dream, you continue normally, right? Same dif.
He watches her cry.
TED:
Seriously, why are you still crying? It is so weird-looking.
She continues crying. He fidgets for a moment.
TED:
Look, I’m sorry, okay? Huh? Stop crying. I don’t know how to deal with people who are crying. Hey?
He puts a hand under her chin and lifts her face.
TED:
Stop crying? For me?
Kim looks up at him. He leans his face closer and there is a moment as they stare at one another. Ted brushes his thumb under Kim’s eye, wiping away a tear.
TED:
See, I’d kiss you now, but you’re still crying.
Kim blinks, then takes a shot at his head, but he’s already off the bed and making a mocking bow.
TED:
Next time, next time. Don’t be so impatient.
He ducks out the door, leaving it cracked open behind him. Kim just rolls onto her side, staring out into space with a cold expression.
INT. KIM’S HOUSE - UPPER HALLWAY - NIGHT
Ted has not actually left, but is instead still standing at the door, looking in through the crack and wearing an expression that is possessive, worried and uncomfortable all at once.
ACT 1
INT. KIM’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
The dream cat is sitting on the back of a chair, starting to fall asleep. Kim’s pet cat, Bubby, is sitting on the back of another chair, staring at him. The dream cat blinks, looks over at Bubby and stares for a moment, then looks away. There is a moment’s pause, then the cycle repeats. Another beat, then the dream cat speaks.
CAT:
Would you quite staring at me? It’s freaking me out.
Ted walks in just then.
TED:
Quit flirting, you two.
Bubby jumps down from its perch and darts off into another room. Ted sits down in the chair vacated.
TED:
She’s quicker than I thought.
CAT:
Oh?
TED:
Seems you can’t judge a book by its cover. Or by the first two hundred pages either. You’d think, being her dream, I’d know her better, know how to handle this all better.
CAT:
Is she on to us?
TED:
Not exactly. It’s just that she’s questioning things a lot sooner than I had planned. I didn’t think I’d slip so fast. Had to make her forget using my masculine charms.
He pinches the bridge of his nose.
TED:
I was hoping to knock out at least fifteen or twenty before she started to ask questions. That fatso today really screwed it all up.
He rubs his hand down his face and sighs.
TED:
I’m tired. This sleeping thing is so stupid.
CAT:
Kim asked earlier, but you didn’t answer: Do you dream?
TED:
Why?
He looks over at the cat as he stands up.
TED:
Do you?
There is a moment of uncomfortable silence as they both wait for the other to confess. Neither speaks again and finally Ted walks out of the room. The cat shifts uncomfortably.
CAT:
Bastard.
INT. KIM’S HOUSE - GUEST ROOM - NIGHT
Ted walks into the room, rubbing at his face in exhaustion and exasperation. He sighs and collapses on the bed, staring angrily but absently into space.
INT. KIM’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
The next morning, Kim is drinking her coffee and the cat is eating a plate of food. Kim seems distracted, staring out into space as she sips at her mug. Ted walks in then, still dressed in his clothes, all wrinkled and disheveled from being slept in. His hair is ruffled and his eyes are bleary.
CAT:
Good morning, sunshine!
Ted just grunts wordlessly.
KIM:
(not looking at him)
Coffee’s in the pot.
Ted grunts again, but pours himself a cup of black coffee.
CAT:
Fastest case of caffeine addiction on record.
Ted ignores him and sits down to glare daggers into his cup.
KIM:
Do you have any other clothes? I think you’ve been wearing those for four days, haven’t you?
Ted looks up at her grumpily.
TED:
You’re lucky I have any clothes at all, Miss Oblivious. Do you know how much effort it took to manifest with clothes, period? I figured I had to bend to sensibilities just a bit. The comments are not appreciated.
He drinks his coffee down in one gulp, then slams his mug down on the tabletop.
KIM:
Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Ted just glares, then gets up and pours himself another cup of coffee.
END OF ACT 1
ACT 2
INT. KIM’S HOUSE - LAUNDRY ROOM - DAY
Kim is standing outside a door near the washer and dryer. She is blushing bright red.
TED (through the door):
Someone did not think this through, did they?
KIM:
(stammering)
Shut up and give me your clothes.
TED (through the door):
Do you want me to come out there, or -
KIM:
No! Just open the door slowly -
The door starts to open from within. Kim takes a frantic step backward.
KIM:
-Slowly!
She averts her eyes as the doors swings all the way open. Ted’s hand taps her on the shoulder and she peeks, only to whirl around in anger.
KIM:
You bastard!
Ted, fully clothed, stands in the doorway, grinning madly.
TED:
Whoa, Kim, I was just going to say that this isn’t such a big deal, but if you’re really that excited about seeing me nude, I can see what I can do -
KIM:
No! Now either give me your clothes or just forget the whole thing.
Ted grins and starts to pull off his shirt, but Kim shoves him back into the room.
KIM:
In there, damn it!
She closes the door, then leans against it, taking a deep breath. She looks down at the floor.
KIM:
(to herself, silently)
What is my problem?
There is a moment of silence.
TED (through the door):
Kimmy!
She straightens and whirls on the door.
KIM:
What?
TED (though the door):
I can’t work the zipper! Can you come and show me how?
KIM:
You’re disgusting.
Ted laughs.
TED (through the door):
Seriously, though, why are we doing this again?
KIM:
(primly)
It was suggested that I was not aware of your needs.
The door opens again. Kim covers her eyes, then peeks just a little, then drops her hands. He is wearing her pink housecoat.
TED:
Seriously, Kim, if you’re trying to see me naked, I can-
KIM:
That’s my-
TED:
And if you’re really that concerned about my suggestions, I’ve got a few more you could -
Kim snatches the bundle of clothes from his hand and throws them into the open WASHER. She closes the lid and hits the button to make it start. Ted grins at her, but she ignores him, folding her arms in front of her chest and staring at the washer.
KIM:
So what about the next dream?
TED:
Right. Actually, I don’t know what this next dream’s about.
KIM:
How do you know what any of these dreams are about, anyway?
TED:
If you actually pay attention to your neighbors, I’m sure you’d find out a whole lot about them -
KIM:
(interrupting)
Too bad they don’t pay attention to me. Maybe they’d notice my hobo nightmare and call the cops.
TED:
(archly)
Anyway, this dream’s just really hard to watch. Not to mention freakishly powerful.
Kim just stares at the washer for a moment, processing. Finally she nods and turns on her heel. Ted starts to follow her.
KIM:
(firmly, without turning around)
Watch your clothes. When they’re done, put them in the dryer and hit “start”.
TED:
(meekly, but grinning)
Yes ma’am.
Kim leaves. The dream cat comes in, looking back to watch Kim exit.
CAT:
This is her, isn’t it? The big one. I thought we were going to wait…
The cat turns around and sees Ted.
CAT:
What are you wearing?
TED:
(ignoring the question)
We were going to wait. Kim-kim’s screwing stuff up.
CAT:
How?
TED:
By being Kim-kim.
He looks out the door after her and sighs.
INT. KIM’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Kim is sitting at her table, holding her phone. She turns it on over and over again, but every time all she gets is silence. Ted enters then, clean and straight. She looks up and he poses.
TED:
Admit it. I’m sexy.
KIM:
You cut my phone cord, didn’t you?
TED:
I hate cops.
Kim slams the phone down on the table.
KIM:
Bastard.
Ted grins and smoothes his hair back in an exaggerated motion.
TED:
Sexy bastard.
The cat comes in then and jumps up on the table, surveying Ted.
CAT:
You shaved.
TED:
Yes, I did. Nearly took all the skin off my face too, so I hope you appreciate it, Kimmy.
KIM:
Don’t call me that.
Ted claps his hands together and rubs them eagerly.
TED:
Righto. Let’s go catch us a dream.
END OF ACT 2
Gender:
Points: 42011
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