Most of the invitees were blissfully unaware of the scandal taking place at the wedding.
We all have moments of desperation, but if we face them head on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are. - Mary-Alice Young, Desperate Housewives
"I’m usually that guy who violently kicks off his shoes at the front door because there’s something about fake wooden kitchen linoleum that appears inviting to the feverish socked footsies." - Adam Young/Owl City
10/10 I'm going to go read this tomorrow. I'm too tired to read it today. Here's mine: The coffee shop, Esnatzen, was empty when Seres walked in; the moss green carpet shocking his feet.
reminds me that I still have to read the rest and that sentence has just always been my favorite. XD well after I read it of course. It has tons of imagery and it captures me.
Again only one thought was running through her head, pain.
I liked the imagery you created, but I'm not awfully keen on openings that begin with descriptions. It looks pretty interesting though.
(I'm aware that this isn't just one line... but there's only an extra 3... xD)
Austin told me that I’d forget about it. He said that it didn’t matter. That rainy October night, he told me that I had to run; running would stop my mind from crashing. Austin lied.
9/10 loved it all except for the rainy October night part it just seemed, I don't know, out of place.
And because you did I am going to do two sentences (this is from the short story I am writing to submit to the YWS newsletter. It is mostly just tongue and cheek humor.) :
When I swim in the pool Mom can’t make me take a bath, because I will get squeaky clean in the Doreen water. Doreen is my Grandma; I don’t think she can swim though.
2/10 Far too vague. There's a bit of twist and conflict at the end, but it is so unrelated and makes me go "what in the world" too badly for me to really bother reading.
"I don't see why we should lose a daughter when guards can do a perfectly good job."
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo
Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
7/10 Ehh... it's good, not remarkable, but good. It would certainly draw me in a bit. Better than anything that I could come up with definitely.
Well, here I go (I'm awful at grabbing people): "Death's a b***h, especially when you have go through it about 5 times a day. But by now it had become a commonplace and mundane thing, much like brushing your teeth, checking your e-mail, or hearing about anorexic hotel heiresses on the news. "
Hajimari no yokan ni, soro soro to orotoki no, doki doki suru kimochi, wasurenai yo!
Gender:
Points: 12193
Reviews: 275