Kate had sent Eric a message an hour after dinner telling him to meet her downstairs in the parlour. At first he'd wondered whether she'd changed her mind about telling him what was going on in the family, but when he entered the parlour to see the furniture pushed to one side and strange music reverberating around the room, he realised he was in for something else entirely.
“What is that noise?” he asked Kate, who was standing by the vinyl record player.
“That’s not noise, sweetheart. It’s waltz music.”
Eric winced. “I feel like my ears are bleeding.”
“It’s a lot better than the racket you listen to,” Janet commented, walking into room holding a glass of wine.
Eric feigned offence. “The music I listen to is not racket.”
"Then what would you call music about girls, cars and blind?"
"Girls, cars and bling, Janet," Eric corrected.
Just then Lauren rushed into the room. "Have I missed it?"
"Missed what?" Eric frowned.
"No, you haven't," asnwered Kate. "In fact, you're just in time."
"Can someone please tell me what I'm doing here?" Eric asked.
Kate clapped her hands in excitement. "You are here for your first dance lesson."
"Dear Lord."
"Come on, it'll be fine," Kate assured him, grabbing his elbow and manouvering him to the centre of the room. "It might be a long and occasionally frustrating process but with enough practice you'll pick up the steps in no time."
Lauren scoffed. "This is Eric, you're talking about."
"Can it, alien," he glared.
"Lauren, hush, or else you'll have to leave," said Janet, before turning her attention to Eric. "Listen to nothing but the music."
"The music is shi-"
"Shh!" Kate silenced him. Grabbing his right hand, she placed it on her waist.
"What are you doing?" Eric asked.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm putting your hand on my waist."
Eric could feel the tips of his ears turn pink. "Yes, I can see that, but why?"
"This is the position for the Waltz."
"Warts is the worst," he grumbled.
"Waltz," Kate corrected, before taking his other hand in hers. "Now, I will be leading so you need to focus on my movements. If I move backwards you have to move forwards, if I move forwards you have to move backwards. Understand?"
"No," Eric answered honestly.
But Kate appeared not to hear him. "Janet, please play the next song."
The music changed to something louder and more more horrendous. Before Eric could gather himself, his sister-in-law already began the countdown.
"In 3-2-1."
Eric's body then moved without him even knowing it. Kate began slowly, taking a few steps back, but her grip was so firm that Eric moved forwards automatically. They did that for a few seconds, taking a few steps back, then a few steps forward, their feet moving in unison.
"Perfect," Kate smiled. "Now, we're going to move side to side. It's the same principle as before: if I move left, you move right. If I move right, you move left. Got it?"
"Easy," Eric said aloud. He'd managed to go backwards and forwards so far without causing any injuries, this should be just as easy.
Unfortunately, it wasn't.
“No, not my left, you’re left! No Eric, your other left –”
But Kate's words seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Eric's co-ordination was so off, he may as well have been drunk.
Lauren, who'd been standing by the window recording all this on her phone, provided running commentary. “Ladies and gentlemen; my brother the klutz,”
"Lauren," Janet said warningly.
"I'm sorry, but this is just comedy gold-"
"What's going on here?"
The music stopped and all four of them froze to see Marcus standing by the vinyl recorder.
“Would you care to explain why you have your hands on my wife’s waist?” he asked Eric with a stern frown that reminded him of their dad's.
Eric gulped. “I swear to God, Marcus, it was her idea –”
“Relax," Kate smirked, "your brother’s kidding.”
Eric noticed the frown on his older brother relax, and his mouth pulled into a smirk of his own.
"Jeez, Marcus," he said, releasing a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. “I thought you were gonna kick my ass.”
“Who says I’m not?” Marcus frowned once again, his smirk disappearing as quickly as it had formed.
Eric swallowed.
“I’m just playing,” he chuckled.
“Marcus!”
All three of the women in the room laughed along with Marcus, who moved to stand beside Lauren. “Mind if I watch?”
Eric frowned in annoyance. “I already have an audience in case you didn’t notice,” he shot lasers at Janet and Lauren.
“Well, you’re gonna have an even bigger audience when you do the real thing,” Kate pointed out. "Now stop moaning and groaning, and let's get back to work."
Another fifteen minutes passed of Eric being taught to move side to side, and no matter how hard Kate tried, he was no closer to learning it than when they'd first started.
“My God, you’re a klutz,” Marcus marvelled, when they finally decided to call it a day.
*
The next morning, Eric was enjoying a rare and very peaceful lie in. His head was underneathe his pillow, his sleeping form buried under a heavy quilt and throw. Unfortunately for him it was a Monday.
“Eric!” his step-mom's voice suddenly boomed from behind his door. “Your friends are outside!”
Eric woke with such a start that he fell out of his bed.
“Oof,” he said stupidly, as he met the floor with a loud thud.
“Eric?” came Janet's voice again.
“Yes?” he croaked.
“Did you just fall off the bed?”
“No,” he lied, rubbing his forehead.
Still bleary-eyed from sleep, Eric heaved himself up from the floor and opened his balcony window to see a very angry looking Reese parked outside his driveway.
“Hurry up, E!” he called, horning.
“Alright, chill, let me put a shirt on!” Sighing, he closed the doors and and hurriedly pulled on his uniform, not bothering to do his tie or gel his bed hair. Grabbing his backpack, he headed out of his door, almost bumping into Janet on his way out.
“Eric, please don’t forget your pills!” she said, following him down the corridor.
Eric scoffed. “That’s impossible now that you and Lauren passed over the schedule to my girlfriend.”
“She seems like a lovely girl.” Janet mused out loud as they headed down the stairs. “Am I ever going to get to meet her?”
No, thought Eric as they reached the landing. “I’ll be home late tonight,” he said, artfully changing the subject. “Football practice.”
“Okay, but please remember not to overdo it. Your body still hasn’t recovered yet and if you push it too far too fast, you’ll only cause more damage –”
But Eric was out the door before she could even finish her sentence. Outside, Eric rushed down the steps and headed straight for Reese's car.
“Cheers for making me wait an hour!” his friend barked through his open window.
“It was a minute actually,” Eric corrected.
“Just get in the car!” roared Reese, clearly in quite a foul mood for some reason.
“Jeez, you’re such a drama queen …” Eric huffed, before jumping into the car.
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