z

Young Writers Society


Metal Hearts (starting, not accepting)



User avatar
84 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5736
Reviews: 84
Tue Jan 25, 2011 11:36 pm
fictionfanatic says...



Gia:

"Hey!" He said, I showing me his arm. "Do you know what I'm capable of?" He said, trying to sound menacing, but he cracked a smile and his menacing tone cracked a little.

I couldn't help but laugh. I could take him even with his gun. Besides, this was a clear bluff. I decided to call him out on it.

"Yeah, but I know you're not going to, and even if you did, you would never be forgiven. Now, are you going to help or not?" I said knowingly and expectantly.

***

We all stood there looking at all of the 'junk' we had found and tried to decide how to somehow mold it into a house big enough for us all.

Finally, I grabbed a stick and started kicking all of our household objects away from a certain spot.

I swiftly began to draw in the mud and felt people looking over my shoulder.

When I finished, I anounced "What do you guys think?"

Bree smudged out a line I made, slid the stick from my hand, and added something. It's better this way.

Kaiter then took the stick from Bree and added another section.

"There, now it's good." She said.

Enzo:

Everyone was about to start, but I anounced "Hey guys, I don't know about you, but I am absolutely starving!"

The guy, Eli I think he said his name was, called out "I saw a gas station a little bit away from the junkyard."

"Perfect!" I cheered "But, um, how on Earth are we going to pay for oil?"

We all just kind of looked at each other until someone piped in-

*and anyone may continue*
Last edited by fictionfanatic on Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
Live, Love, Laugh
  





User avatar
73 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1081
Reviews: 73
Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:18 am
DaSpetsnaz says...



Eli (I remembered!)
Gia and I had become fast friends. By the time we got all of our stuff together, we nearly fell over laughing at the thought of what I had said, trying to be threatening. We laid out the rest of our stuff, and we had a nice pile. Most of the girls pitched in on how big the house should be, but to be truthful, I didn't give a crap. Before we got started, I heard someone, I think their name was Enzo, say, "Hey guys, I don't know about you, but I am absolutely starving!"

This was my time to break in the news. I yelled above the crowd, "I saw a gas station a little bit away from the junkyard!"

"Perfect!" He cheered. He looked ecstatic. "But, um, how on Earth are we going to pay for oil?"

"Who pays for stuff?" I said. I got eleven strange looks. "Just listen closely."

~~~~~


By the time we got to the station and everyone got in position, the sun was just starting to set. "We have to hurry, I don't feel like sleeping in the cold!" I laughed at my joke, the only one. I was the first to go in. I got to the cashier, and then everyone else came in. I pretended to go into the bathroom, and flushed the toilet for effect. I splashed some water on the floor and unrolled some of the paper towels. I came to the cashier and mentioned something about the quality of the bathroom. He saw my arm and reached for the phone, but I had Gretel cut the wire when we came in. After cursing a little he reluctantly went into the bathroom. All was going as planned. "Now!" I yelled. Before he could react I slammed the door on his face. He tried to open it, but I was much stronger than him. Everyone took all the oil they could carry and was out the door. Once I was sure everyone was about halfway back, I opened the door. The guy looked mad. I shoved him on the floor and was out the door.
"Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."

-Queen
  





User avatar
30 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1713
Reviews: 30
Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:47 am
Dragonette says...



>Sorry it's so long, but I thought I'd add a little drama<
Kaiter

We all sat around our "camp-site", sipping the oil that we had just stolen. Something about that really didn't feel right, I wanted to speak out against the plan, but I didn't have any better ideas and everyone was complaining about being hungry --especially Cy, and I had promised to take care of him-- so I went along with it. But now that my stomach was full, I was feeling guilty with what I had put in it. I hugged my knees to my chest and sighed.

"You ok?" I heard Achilles say as he sat next to me.

"Yeah," I answered. Suddenly I couldn't take it any more. "You know what? I'll be right back." And with that I zipped into the air. Flying had always helped me clear my head, and it made me feel free and problem-less. But what I saw up there didn't help the situation.

What I saw was flashing red and blue lights. Cops were surrounding the gas staition that we had just raided. "Oh crap." I looked down at my new family and my gut wrenched with worry. We had just escaped from a prison of sorts, now we would be thrown in another. My gaze traveled to Eli; he was guzzling oil and laughing about something he said. I clenched my fists as I was suddenly shot full of anger; this was all his fault!

I plunged down, through the sky and landed directly in front of him. "This is all your fault!" I yelled.

"Whoa, calm down," Eden said, "What's wrong, Kaiter?"

I jabbed a finger towards the gas station. "It was your idea to rob the gas station. We could have done something else, but you decided to break the law. Now there are police surrounded the building, and probably more out looking for us!"

"But-" Eli started, but I cut him off.

"No! I bet that cashier got a good look at your arm, by tomorrow we'll be all over the news. And more! And, now, how are we going to get food? That could have been our food source, but I bet we aren't going to that place again." When I had finished my rampage, the place was deathly quiet. I stood there and glared at Eli.

A sniffle came from Adrian and I broke out of my trance. Sudden realization of what I had just done hit me. I had just yelled at Eli for trying to help, and in front of everyone. I looked down and tried to ignore everyone's eyes. Trying to look for a way to get out of it, I said, "It's getting dark, I should start a fire."

"No, I've got it," Gia's finger became a lighter and she set fire to a pile of scrap wood.

Everyone was still and quiet, and we all just looked soberly at the flames. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer, and for the second time that night, I flew off, trying to run from my troubles.
I'm a JESUS FREAK! (but you can call me a 'Jeek' if you want :D

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

You aren't an official writer unless you're at least slightly mad.
  





User avatar



Gender: Female
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:25 am
Undertaker says...



Adrian

I sat silently around the fire and observed as we all sipped on our oil cans. That was until Kaiter suddenly took off into the air. Right after she left, I started to hear a wailing sound. I figured it was nothing, that is until she comes back down and starts to yell at Eden. Something about how they must have saw his arm, and they would look for us.

To say the least, I was not hungry anymore. I put down the drink and just listened to them argue. I really wanted to say something, when I suddenly heard something far off in the junkyard. I straightened and tried to listen better. Footsteps. They were pretty far, but they were slowly coming closer to where we were hiding and screaming at each other. I sat up and straight and tried to determine how faraway they were.

Next thing I know, someone taps my arm, it's Cy. "You okay?" he questions me. "Yeah, but there is someone coming this way." I say softly.

"Are you sure?" Cy asked me.

"Yep. They are slowly heading this way..." I say softly, still concentrating on what I was hearing.


((Sorry for the shortness, writers block...^^;))
"Show me a "first rate laugh"."
  





User avatar
73 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1081
Reviews: 73
Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:02 pm
View Likes
DaSpetsnaz says...



Eli
Gia and I were sitting next to each other, drinking the oil we had “borrowed”. I cracked a joke and we both laughed. The laughter ended then. Kaiter shot out of nowhere and landed in front of me. "This is all your fault!" Eden tried to support me, but with no luck. "It was your idea to rob the gas station. We could have done something else, but you decided to break the law. Now there are police surrounded the building, and probably more out looking for us!"

“But”- I attempted to say, but she was on a rampage.

"No! I bet that cashier got a good look at your arm, by tomorrow we'll be all over the news. And more! And, now, how are we going to get food? That could have been our food source, but I bet we aren't going to that place again!” I felt eleven pairs of eyes trained on me.

“Fine,” I said getting up slowly.

“Where are you going?!” Kaiter yelled.

“I’m going to make this right. Keep everyone safe and STAY HERE.” I said, walking towards the station.

“I’m not listening to you anymore,” Kaiter said, did she ever listen to me.

~~~~~


I had changed into clothes way too large for me, but I needed them. The cops were everywhere. By the time I got to sherif, he was mad. “Hey!” I said. “Call your men off.”

“And why would I listen to you!” he said.

“Now don’t get your mustache in a knot,” I said, grinning. “Tell your men that you found your man, or better yet, that your man found you.”

>Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan to get him free.<
"Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."

-Queen
  





User avatar
49 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 922
Reviews: 49
Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:54 pm
MilkNCookies says...



Lily

I refused whatever oil they offered. I just wasn't hungry now. I sat by Cy and Adrian. I see them whispering.

"You hear it, too?" I whispered to them. Cy nodded. "Don't worry. it'll be alright." i said to myself as much as them "They won't blame three kids."

"But they'll blame everyone else." Adrian whispered.

"They'll get out of jail somehow. Then they'll find us." I put an arm around both of them and squeezed. "I promise." Cy and Adrian nodded. Kaiter still wasn't back. Most of us were probably sleeping outside; only one or two could fit in our tent-thing. That ism if the cops didn't get us.

"Show yourself!" A voice thundered. A cop with a K-9 unit emerged. His eyes widened when he showed himself. Someone used his fear as an advantage.

"Go away if you want to live." replied a mystery source. The cop just stumbled away, the dog following quickly after.

"Let's hope he doesn't get any of his friends." Eli mumbled.
"Fantasy is a way of looking through the wrong end of the telescope."

"The writer who breeds more words than he needs is making a chore for the reader who reads!"

~Dr.Seuss.
  





User avatar
30 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1713
Reviews: 30
Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:47 pm
Dragonette says...



Kaiter~

When I started flying back, I saw that I should have never left. A group of cops were heading towards our hide out, and it looked like they would get there any minute. I sped up quickly and beat them to the campsite. Then I dropped down silently in the night. I landed behind the three younger ones just as the police got there and called out, "Show yourself!" in a loud voice.

I put my head next to Cy's and whispered in his ear, "Cy!" He jumped but I put my hand on his shoulder. "You and the girls need to get out of here. Go, hide behind that pile, but be quiet. I'll distract them." I thought I saw him nod his head, and I flew up once again. Then I landed on the other side of the police. Trying to be as loud as I could, I ran through the junk yard, purposely tripping over the junk. "Over here! I think I heard something!" I heard a cop yell. Quick as lightning, I flew up and around behind on of the tall piles of junk. When they got to the spot where I had just been, I sprinted down the hill, making sure to make as much noise as I could. Again, they took the bait. I flew from place to place, making sure they didn't see me, but at the same time being sure that they heard me. It was like a game, and it would have been fun, if it hadn't been so important.

Finally I got to the outsquirts of the yard and I flew off, leaving the confused cops behind. On my round trip back, I caught sight of Eli at the gas-station, talking to the Sherrif. What was he up to now?
Last edited by Dragonette on Wed Jan 26, 2011 4:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm a JESUS FREAK! (but you can call me a 'Jeek' if you want :D

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

You aren't an official writer unless you're at least slightly mad.
  





User avatar
36 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1664
Reviews: 36
Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:48 pm
AllyGrLxOX says...



Bree:

I sat inside our tent structure just waiting, Kaiter was right. We really shouldn't have stolen from the gas station, I mean we had metal plastered onto our skin! That makes us clear to anyone and everyone who we are, and what we'd done.

The voices outside the tent were making me axious, I wasn't a fan of just waiting around. I exited the tent to hear Eli mumbling, "Let's hope he doesn't get any of his friends."

"You better hope so!" I exclaimed frusterated, I was about to explode about how we should've come up with another plan when someone Lily stood up shushing me,

"We heard a voice!" I wasn't too sure what she meant by a voice so I looked around exasperated hoping that someone would clarify.
HEY YOU!
Yeah you! :D

You should check out my latest novel "Part of the Night!"
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/novel.php?id=877
^Click,Click,Click,Click,Click,Click,Click,Click,Click,Click,Click,


Why haven't you clicked on the link yet!
  





User avatar
84 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5736
Reviews: 84
Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:18 pm
fictionfanatic says...



Okay, I'm a little confused, so I hope I get this right

Gia:

I couldn't stand to let Kaiter do this all herself. No way. Fighting is my thing.

I looked around at everyone. Usually, I wouldn't risk myself for people I had only known for a day, but somehow I have a feeling that I've known them much longer then just one day.

As Bree began talking, I jumped up and ran after Kaiter and the cops following her.

As I ran, I grabbed a piece of cloth.

Opening the poison in my finger, I dripped a few drops of the red liquid onto the rag. Closing the poison, I jumped on someone's back and pressed the cloth to their nose and mouth. Slowly, he dropped.
Live, Love, Laugh
  





User avatar
85 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1464
Reviews: 85
Wed Jan 26, 2011 10:23 pm
Eniarrol says...



*deleted becuase it didn't seem to fit*
Last edited by Eniarrol on Thu Jan 27, 2011 1:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
A hero isn’t defined by winning. Loads of heroes die in the effort. Most of them never get any recognition. No, a hero is just somebody who does the right thing when it would be far, far easier to do nothing.


~Previously SweetMoments
  





User avatar
73 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1081
Reviews: 73
Thu Jan 27, 2011 12:21 am
DaSpetsnaz says...



Deleted
Last edited by DaSpetsnaz on Thu Jan 27, 2011 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."

-Queen
  





User avatar
30 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1713
Reviews: 30
Thu Jan 27, 2011 1:01 am
Dragonette says...



>I'm sorry, DaSpat, but I'm going to ask you do delete your last post. This is E rated and that's too much blood. <
Kaiter

I watched as Eli handed himself in. The officer told his men to stop looking for us, and shoved Eli in his car. As angry as I was with the kid, I was worried about what happened to him. I bit my lip and hoped he didn't squeal about the rest of us, I couldn't go back to the scientists; I don't remember much, but that much I know.

I followed the car from the air. Suddenly the line of police cars screeched to a hault. Cops poured out and I heard the captain say, "He's gone! Look everywhere! He couldn't have gone far." Escaped? I've watched the cars the whole time, no one had slipped out of the car, and I was sure I saw Eli go into the car.

When all of the cops had gotten out of their cars and spread out, I silently floated to the ground. I crept up to the car that I had seen Eli get into and peeked through the door.

All I saw inside was a metal ball, sitting on the seat. My eyebrows furrowed and I leaned closer to the ball. Suddenly the ball started transforming and started growing rappidly. I gasped loudly, and almost screamed, but a hand shot out of the jumble of mechanical parts. A face pieced itself together, a face that turned into...Eli! I pushed his hand away from my mouth, "Eli!" I whispered, "What in god's name-?"

"Shhh!" he hushed me, and I noticed that he was sweating and he seemed scared; this was a first. "Can you help me get out of here?"

For a split second I wondered if I really should help him, this was all his fault. But it was only there for a moment and was quickly pushed away. I should be ashamed!

I nodded, "Fold into a ball again. It'll be easier to carry you that way." He did what he was told and I picked him up and flew into the night sky.

*********************************************************************************************************************************************
>I'm going to speed things up a bit and get out of this scene, it seems to be confusing everybody.<
Cy

I must have fallen asleep while hiding, because when I opened my eyes, the sun had started to rise. I looked around and saw Lily and Adrain sleeping on each side of me. "Hey guys, wake up!" I said shaking there shoulders. They blinked their eyes opened and yawned.

They must have realized where they were, because I saw a hint of fear enter Adrian's eyes. "Are they gone?" she whispered.

"I don't know," Lily shrugged, "I'll check, you guys stay here." Lily snuck around the corner and was gone. Me and Adrian waited in silence. Suddenly, Lily was back again, peaking her head around the corner and making us both jump. "Cost is clear. And Kaiter and Eli are back."

I followed her back to our camp site and saw that she was right. Everybody was sitting in a circle, seeming to talk about important stuff, probably the house, which was still not built.

I budged into the circle and loudly announced, "I'm hungry!"

Everyone looked at eachother and then burst out laughing. Kaiter put both hands on my shoulders, "I bet you are, Cy. Why don't we get some food."

"But where? We can't go back to the gas station, right?"

Kaiter shook her head, "I think we can, the cashier didn't see anyone but Eli, so we're good to go." she said, but then she looked teasingly at Eli and added, "But this time lets keep Eli out of the plans." Eli's cheeks got red and he looked down. Everyone laughed cheerily.
Last edited by Dragonette on Thu Jan 27, 2011 1:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm a JESUS FREAK! (but you can call me a 'Jeek' if you want :D

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

You aren't an official writer unless you're at least slightly mad.
  





User avatar
49 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 922
Reviews: 49
Thu Jan 27, 2011 1:22 am
MilkNCookies says...



Lily (is it just us there? I'm confused...)

"For once, I am hungry!" I admitted. "Are we being legal? Because I have a ten in my pocket."

"I think so." Katier dug into her pockets. "I got... a five."

"Ten cents." Cy admitted.

"Sorry." Adrian remarked.

"I have... two dollars and fourteen cents." Eli mumbled.

"What do we do? We can't use it all now. What about we split a gallon?" I asked. "I don't need too much." I waited for Katier's decision.
"Fantasy is a way of looking through the wrong end of the telescope."

"The writer who breeds more words than he needs is making a chore for the reader who reads!"

~Dr.Seuss.
  





User avatar
30 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1713
Reviews: 30
Thu Jan 27, 2011 1:31 am
Dragonette says...



>Yep, we're alone. And btw, they can eat dry food, like chips and stuff, things that don't have to much mooisture, they just can't have water.<
Kaiter

"Awesome, let's get something to eat," I said. The dude who had owned these pants must have been careless to have left a five dollor bill. But who am I to judge? It was just fine by me.

Even though we had all managed to scrape up some money, we would need more later. I wonder if somebody could get a job at the station....

"Ok, guys, lets head out. I'm sorry Eli, but you'll have to stay here, we'll bring some back for you." Eli looked disappointed, so I added, "If someone could stay with you...?" I looked around for a volunteer.

>Sorry it's short, but I just posted.<
I'm a JESUS FREAK! (but you can call me a 'Jeek' if you want :D

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

You aren't an official writer unless you're at least slightly mad.
  





User avatar
49 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 922
Reviews: 49
Thu Jan 27, 2011 2:01 am
MilkNCookies says...



Lily

I'll stay. I don't mind." I admitted, handing over my ten.Cy glanced back at me, but eventually kept going with Katier.

Eli and I stood in an awkward silence. i didn't know what to say. I was about tobegin sleeping, when he spoke suddenly.

"I'm sorry about all the commotion." He admitted.

"It's okay. I don't really mind."

"How old are you?"

"12." I couldn't really see the point of that question, though. Age was just a number; what does it matter?

"That's young."

"Now as bad as Cy and Adrian."

"I guess." He looked at me. "Do you speak Spanish at all? French?" He asked.

"Hablo español, Je parle français." I replied. "我说中文, Μιλώ ελληνική..." I spoke.

"Wow." He mumbled. "What were the last two languages?"

"Chinese and Greek. I can speak any language you can think of."

"We're back!" Cy cried from behind.

"Has it been that long?"

"No line,'' Kaiter explained. She grinned and passed me $6.50, along with a bag of chips. "Your change."

"Thanks." I mumbled. We began to eat slowly, each of us trying to preserve each bite.
"Fantasy is a way of looking through the wrong end of the telescope."

"The writer who breeds more words than he needs is making a chore for the reader who reads!"

~Dr.Seuss.
  








Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
— Abraham Lincoln