z

Young Writers Society


The Pheligian Falcon: Prison Break [OOC]



User avatar
440 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6836
Reviews: 440
Tue Oct 06, 2020 6:49 pm
View Likes
Wolfi says...



THANK YOU <3 sorry it took so long!!

I was thinking Neyti could potentially play a role in the escape plan since they're a wealth of database knowledge. And because they're always being tinkered with, their personality will probably be different every time Gena runs into them. She might catch them on a good day when they feel like helping her out, and then the next time they might try to report her xD
John 14:27:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.
  





User avatar
174 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 3255
Reviews: 174
Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:51 pm
View Likes
soundofmind says...



OOOO i love that idea, Netyi being both helpful and unhelpful lol
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.

  





User avatar
378 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Other
Points: 3775
Reviews: 378
Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:55 am
View Likes
Omni says...



I'm a bit behind on posts, so I will read them this week, hopefully catching up by this weekend :D
This account proudly supports lgbtq* rights.

sass levels loading




[he/him]
  





User avatar
378 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Other
Points: 3775
Reviews: 378
Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:39 am
View Likes
Omni says...



Heya! I'm so sorry I was not around. I'll be catching up before the new year and formulating a post :D
This account proudly supports lgbtq* rights.

sass levels loading




[he/him]
  





User avatar
174 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 3255
Reviews: 174
Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:57 am
View Likes
soundofmind says...



OH BLESS!!! I look forward to it @Vincian!! :)
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.

  





User avatar
590 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Nonbinary
Points: 1234
Reviews: 590
Fri Dec 18, 2020 1:40 pm
View Likes
Mageheart says...



Welcome back, @Vincian! I can't wait to see your post. <3 <3
mage

[ she/her, but in a boy kinda way ]

roleplaying is my platonic love language.

queer and here.
  





User avatar
174 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 3255
Reviews: 174
Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:13 am
View Likes
soundofmind says...



OK ok ok okokokokok hello all it has been a hot minute since this SB has seen some posting activity aaaah

@Wolfical @magebird @vincian @Oxara
Poking everyone firstly to check on interest and see how ya'll are feeling about the story. Are you excited? Tired? Do you want to keep writing?

I just figured I should be honest and tell ya'll I'm personally feeling a bit tired and I don't know if I have as much vision/energy as I thought I did to carry this SB, but if all of ya'll really want to keep going, then I'm down for us moving forward together.

Basically, I've got two questions, but the first one is the most important:

Ya'll still down to keep writing?

I honestly want you guys to be as honest as possible because I know I am trying to be asdlkfhlk. Over the last month I honestly kept thinking about maybe pulling the plug on this SB because I may have overcommitted myself with storybooks and this is the one out of the two that I'm running that I'm not as pumped about.

DON'T GET ME WRONG - I love writing with all of you guys. I'm just not sure I'm vibing as much with the story anymore.

I know Ommy/Vincian is looking to get an outline for a new post started somewhat soon, and we mentioned :,) well... hoping that it revives energy for this SB for me.

But I also have another question, if we do want to keep going...

Would ya'll be cool with writing smaller posts? Would that help with being able to post more frequently?

I noticed in LSS, having post wordcount requirements at like, a 250 minimum made it a lot easier to post more, and while we obviously don't have to post at the rate of 10+ posts a week, I wonder if it would help take off some pressure and make things a little more casual and fun. It would mean less hard planning on the front end for us - and we could still DO longer posts, but we wouldn't have to always. We could do littler posts and smaller interactions without the pressure of having to come up with a lot more?

You guys can tell me if you'd be cool with loosening up the plot a bit to add more room for just shenanigans and shorter posts. Obviously, there's still the overarching plot - these guys need to form friendships or some type of bonds and escape. But how exactly that happens and what happens in between is flexible, and I'm not too worried about the details.

I'm not saying we throw away the whole WFP outline and everything - we can still use those ideas, we just don't have to do it in as strict of an order and with word count expectations or whatever

LET ME KNOW IF I'M MAKING SENSE OR IF YOU ARE VIBING OR NOT VIBING

I am holding this SB with very open hands and I will not be heartbroken if you're like please no or please yes or whatever IDK

JUST TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT: BASICALLY - this is me trying to think of ways to breathe life back into this SB and I am open to other ideas!
Last edited by soundofmind on Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.

  





User avatar
174 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 3255
Reviews: 174
Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:14 am
View Likes
soundofmind says...



bleh forgot @Wolfi u changed ur user
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.

  





User avatar
440 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6836
Reviews: 440
Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:47 am
View Likes
Wolfi says...



When I'm thinking of what the ending of the SB is, it's overwhelming to know there's a lot left to go - Gena only just "met" everyone for the first time! With that, though, I know that SBing is all about the journey and not the destination, so just having fun and learning from each other is what's important. If we do continue, writing shorter posts would certainly relieve some stress.

To be completely honest, I also don't have a lot of energy left for this SB or YWS in general as of late. I'm taking two writing classes this quarter, and I'm still a little burnt out from last quarter, so that might be part of it. However!! If the rest of you want to keep going at a more casual rate I'd totally be down. This SB has been lots of fun, and I haven't even gotten the chance to collab with any of you yet :(
John 14:27:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.
  





User avatar
378 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Other
Points: 3775
Reviews: 378
Tue Jan 05, 2021 11:31 am
View Likes
Omni says...



I think smaller posts might help! Although I have to be honest, I am not a small post person so please just be patient with me for the near future. I am all for continuing this, though, because now that I have (finally) finished the posts, I have ideas on where things can go, and I think a conversation with Corden and Gina will be just wonderful. I mean, I was just thinking tonight about how the cast is getting a time constraint put on them with the fact that, if the guards all become robots, then no ship will ever have to come back to this desolate prison, and there goes their chances of escape!
This account proudly supports lgbtq* rights.

sass levels loading




[he/him]
  





User avatar
174 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 3255
Reviews: 174
Tue Jan 05, 2021 1:16 pm
View Likes
soundofmind says...



@vincian PLEASE SHARE YOUR IDEAS HERE BECAUSE MY IDEA WELL IS DRY

and also I SORRY I didn't mean to sound impatient ;-; I think I'm just feeling my own burnout and discouragement at the moment, but I don't mind waiting a bit longer for a long post - your posts are always TOP QUALITY and worth the wait

and aaahh @Wolfi it sounds like school has been super busy for you ;-; i totally get how that can wear you out

As for post lengths and stuff - I think really what I'm saying is I wanna keep it more casual? Like, people don't have to post 1k length posts, but if you want to, great! I know for me some of my posts might end up long because sometimes my brain works that way, but I just want to create room for people to feel less pressure and just write a little idea if that's all they got!
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.

  





User avatar
590 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Nonbinary
Points: 1234
Reviews: 590
Tue Jan 05, 2021 1:26 pm
View Likes
Mageheart says...



I know we talked a little bit about storybook burnout before you posted here, so you might already know my answer to your question. I've really enjoyed the storybook so far and would love to see its conclusion, but I think I've also been feeling burnt out lately. There's definitely nothing wrong with waiting, but my brain just isn't good with long waits in between posts - so it's easier for me to lose interest in between them. I don't have the same drive to complete this storybook that I did when I first started.

(But that's more of a me thing - I always have trouble sticking with my book ideas, too, so it's really not something specific to this storybook and its plot.)

If we do keep going with this storybook, I think shorter posts would be the way to go. I'm definitely down for longer posts if they're a result of inspiration spiking, but I think making shorter posts be possible would help me stayed involved in the story. I really love collaborating with other writers on posts, but writing long posts with other people tends to be what really drains me - so shorter, more independent posts would probably help!

On the other hand, I also wouldn't be too heartbroken if we decide to lay this storybook to rest for now. @soundofmind and I have lost some of our drive for this storybook, @Wolfi is burnout with school right now, and I know that @Oxara only just got back to the site and hasn't really been active in the DT in a bit.

I think either ending the storybook or making shorter posts would be a good call, but it does look like some of our original motivation and energy isn't really here anymore.
mage

[ she/her, but in a boy kinda way ]

roleplaying is my platonic love language.

queer and here.
  





User avatar
378 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Other
Points: 3775
Reviews: 378
Wed Jan 06, 2021 7:28 am
View Likes
Omni says...



Well, I do have an outline for a small post done! @Wolfi this post is basically just interaction between Gena and Corden. I know you're feeling burnt out, so I can go ahead without you but it's just a small interaction and I would like your input on the outline (and hopefully it's an easy to understand interaction because my outlines are weird sometimes) and how Gena would react in the exchange. I have a lot of what Corden would say in my outline, so I'm gonna go ahead and post it below ^^ please let me know what you think when you have time <3

Spoiler! :
6. Corden gets a few more liberties than the rest of the prisoners and tries to talk with their guard about getting a cell of his own, or getting moved back to his last cell block. They get to talking about the others (Kaz, Lode, Oz) and Corden maybe gets more info on them that me might not find out otherwise. (The goal here would be for both guard and Corden to grow more in trust w/each other but also maybe more in empathy/understanding for the others so they have more motive to help in an escape plan, even if it's just a small step in that direction). @Omnom (Corden's POV) and @Wolfical

  • Shift Change
  • Corden's alllllll alone in the cell
  • The others have gone to eat, Corden refused for some reason.
  • Corden did this on purpose. He knows that's when shift changes happen. And he's
  • looking to make an alliance with the newbie
  • Sure enough, there she was. She looked downtrodden. Perfect
  • He let's her make one pass by the two cells before he announces himself, like "Rough day?"
  • She jumps, she didn't think he was there. Perfect.
  • She clears her throat, trying to get that tough demeanor and is like "why aren't you in the cafeteria?"
  • He brushes it off. Says something like "oh that's neither here nor there". What little power he has (the power of withholding information) he keeps and hoards.
  • He's like "you didn't answer my question"
  • She's like "neither did you." TOUCHE, GUARD, TOUCHE, he won't make that mistake again.
  • He reveals his hand (partially)
  • Okay, you got me. I knew you were going to be here during din din.
  • You're not a face I've seen before, and I didn't think you would last.
  • She's like, how so?
  • He's like "im a lot to handle, and don't even get me started with mr eldritch abomination."i
  • She shrugs this off. That's the in that he needed.
  • "Today /was/ a rough day, then."
  • She doesn't say anything.
  • "Okay, let me just ramble for a bit, and we'll see if i get anywhere close."
  • "Let's paint a picture."
  • "It's later in the day, so let's say you were catching up with some old friends, whatever that looks like on this fricking place."
  • "You wanted some glimpse of your former life here, because they don't just bring in a new guard directly to the top top; you've been here before."
  • "Shocker! It's not what you remember. In fact, people don't see you the same anymore."
  • "Hot shot got too hot and burned those around her."
  • "Am I close?"
  • I'd like input from Wolfical in here, I'd want this to somehow get to Gina actually lowering her guard (heh) a bit and then accidentally spilling that robots are planning on taking over all guards.
  • Corden reacts to that. It's obvious his demeanor changes, if only just for a moment.
  • Corden switches tactics.
  • He has to tread delicately here
  • "You look like you could use an ally here. I might not be a good friend, but to have someone watching your back is important." He's not just talking about her here.
This account proudly supports lgbtq* rights.

sass levels loading




[he/him]
  





User avatar
440 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6836
Reviews: 440
Wed Jan 06, 2021 8:57 am
View Likes
Wolfi says...



That's a wonderful outline, @Vincian!! : D

For the specific part you wanted my input on:
Spoiler! :
She finds it painfully ironic that the only person who seems to understand what she's going through is an inmate. Even though he struck a nerve, at that point she'd probably turn away and force an eye roll. She knows she's not supposed to engage with him and she doesn't even want to. Opening up to a prisoner is always a bad idea, and on the first day? Highly unlikely.

Corden probably sees right through that eye roll, or maybe reads something from her body language. He sees that he was very close.

Maybe he keeps heckling her or taunting her. When she's had enough, she wheels on him and says something to the effect of: "You should be grateful that I'm your guard. Soon they're gonna have androids running this place and they would never take this kind of shit." Something like that??

Feel free to message me on discord if you need to!
John 14:27:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.
  





User avatar
174 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 3255
Reviews: 174
Wed Jan 06, 2021 10:43 pm
View Likes
soundofmind says...



ok so maybe all i needed was a littol collaby and outline-ness to make me go awe ;-; ,,, story

i just want 2 collab das all I want

yes this means I'm more down w/the story than 48 hrs ago lol
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.

  








Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
— Chinese proverb