Young Writers Society

I would, but i'm still waiting on others to post and move the story along with my character. I can't post because I have no idea what's supposed to happen

and move the story along with my character.

No no. See, this is the problem. (And this goes for everyone, BTW) YOU have to be the one who moves the plot along. If you rely on others to "push your character around" then you aren't writing a protagonist (A protagonist) you're writing a cardboard cut-out background character. Action+Conflict=exciting story. And hopefully that's what we're here for.

I'll probably post tomorrow just been kind.d of stressed out.

@EloquentDragon, You misunderstand my meaning. What I mean when I say that is I have no idea what's supposed to happen next evolving my character or anyone else's. I'm not relying on anyone to "push my character around" so don't assume that's what i'm doing.

AlmondEyes wrote:@EloquentDragon, You misunderstand my meaning. What I mean when I say that is I have no idea what's supposed to happen next evolving my character or anyone else's. I'm not relying on anyone to "push my character around" so don't assume that's what i'm doing.

See here's the problem, THINK, you have Akiza in such a way that she could act as the Secondary Antagonist @EloquentDragon was talking about. Problem is you have her to romantically interested to do so, all you care about is having her interact with @AdventurerDaniel character.

You could have her get ambitious and want to take over the club; by having her use her ability to create doubt in peoples minds about Andrea's leadership of the club. Saying she hates Andrea simply because she's an authority figure is lame and unrealistic in my opinion.

Avalon wrote:

AlmondEyes wrote:@EloquentDragon, You misunderstand my meaning. What I mean when I say that is I have no idea what's supposed to happen next evolving my character or anyone else's. I'm not relying on anyone to "push my character around" so don't assume that's what i'm doing.

See here's the problem, THINK, you have Akiza in such a way that she could act as the Secondary Antagonist @EloquentDragon was talking about. Problem is you have her to romantically interested to do so, all you care about is having her interact with @AdventurerDaniel character.

You could have her get ambitious and want to take over the club; by having her use her ability to create doubt in peoples minds about Andrea's leadership of the club. Saying she hates Andrea simply because she's an authority figure is lame and unrealistic in my opinion.

And now there you go assuming too. it was your idea to have Akiza be the second antagonist in the first place, and you keep getting this notion that Akiza hates Andrea because she's an authority figure, which is wrong. I don't know where you're getting your logic from, but you should rethink it. Akiza doesn't hate Andrea, she doesn't like her much or trust her, which is different from hating her, and that's all there is to it as far as i'm concerned.

You don't even bother to give a reason why she distrusts her, you won't hesitant to have her trust Daniel. But with Andrea it's just "Oh yeah, I don't like her." No reason to explain why exactly, which should be the complete opposite since Akiza, was raped by her father and should have a heavy distrust of all Men and feel more comfortable around other women.

I do believe we talked about why Akiza doesn't trust Andrea, and if you don't remember, then that would be your problem, and as for her distrust of Men, don't you think she would be able to work move past what happened to her and know how to tell when and when not to trust, even if she wasn't an Empath? Hell, even some women who haven't been assaulted sometimes have a heavy distrust of Men.

AlmondEyes wrote:I do believe we talked about why Akiza doesn't trust Andrea, and if you don't remember, then that would be your problem, and as for her distrust of Men, don't you think she would be able to work move past what happened to her and know how to tell when and when not to trust, even if she wasn't an Empath? Hell, even some women who haven't been assaulted sometimes have a heavy distrust of Men.

My problem ha! Whatever reason it was, it was months ago, and I don't have a photographic memory. So why not remind me? Anyways, I don't have time to bicker anymore with you, my opinion is, get out if your not even going to contribute anything creative or interesting to the story besides some stupid love interest crap.

I didn't know we were bickering, and you're the one who brought up the whole romance thing in the first place, but you're the one who can't make up his mind whether to stay or go, so maybe you should take your own advice.

AlmondEyes wrote:I didn't know we were bickering, and you're the one who brought up the whole romance thing in the first place, but you're the one who can't make up his mind whether to stay or go, so maybe you should take your own advice.

I only stayed on because I was persuaded into staying here. My point is that you've contributed nothing besides stupid romance, no plot, no ideas, no nothing. Your characters are stale and boring, the only thing that changes about them is there name and appearance. That's it

So i'm supposed to do all of those things? I'm sorry. I didn't get the memo. I'm just doing these SBs for fun, and you're being pretty rude and ruining the fun for me, but then again, that's kind of how you've always been towards me and criticize when there's no need, so i'm not surprised.

I'm the last to post in the SB, so somebody's gotta take their turn.

Guys, please don't argue. I know I haven't been here long, and I wasn't part of the older SB, but disagreeing with everything each other has to say isn't going to help. If @Avalon thinks @AlmondEyes posts too much romance and not enough action or whatever, then mention it as a suggestion? And if AlmondEyes doesn't know how to move it forward, ask for suggestions. Solves both problems without getting upset with each other!

Yes yes, @Avalon and @AlmondEyes... everyone just calm down and take a deep breath. Let's try and set our feelings aside here, and view this thing as objectively as possible.

Here's some ideas I have that could help resolve this:
@AlmondEyes, Dante was being a bit harsh there, but he/she did have a point to make. I know you've only done one post so far, so there is a lot that remains to be seen as to how things turn out on this SB. Here's my suggestion. As Clarity stated, it would be nice to have Akiza more involved with the main plot itself, as opposed to just a romantic subplot with Daniel. This takes a lot of brainstorming, understand. And is what I was sort of talking about earlier. Your character needs to be PROACTIVE, as does everybody else's character, otherwise the SB will end up flopping again. So I'm here to encourage you, and to challenge you. Maybe you should re-work Akiza a little bit, round out her character some more and identify what it is that makes her tick. For every action, there should be an equal and greater motivation.

@Avalon, (I've already discussed a lot of things with you, so I'll be brief here.)
I know that, in the past SB, I mentioned a few times that Eli did not trust Andrea either. (Staring at the wall paper and such.) Silas vividly imagined murdering another mind-reading in his mind, etc. It seems that a telepathic would be someone who is naturally prone to being mistrusted by others. I mean, I don't know about you but I would hate to have some random person digging around in my brain. And that leads me to...

DA DA DA!

Plot idea (This goes for Janika as well): What if Akiza is unwittingly influencing the emotions of the rest of the SBC (since she's an empath and all) and setting them up for mistrust and unease, since maybe that's what she's feeling about being a new-comer. That could exasperate, and the club could start to feel that Andrea (as the leader) is letting them down in some way. They don't trust her. (There would probably need to be one, singular event that codifies all those feelings into blatant avoidance.) Andrea would be on her own, no one would be listening to her, and that would be a problem because, say, she finds out what Silas' next move is going to be or something. Conflict, suspense, all the mustard and pickles.