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Derek had just remembered and ran across the streets, trying to look for me. I watched carefully from my fortress, examining his every move. He knocked, pleaded every neighbor, having forgotten where I had lived.
I had waited for him last night, telling myself he had heard me when I had asked for him to come by the next day. He would remember, was all that passed through my head. He hadn’t though. He had been too drunk to remember me. Too drunk to even recall the promise he had made.
I had forced myself to forget his features. His loving eyes traveling over me, sweet lips murmuring to me. Lips that I should have touched before dying.
I cried, it rained. The water was dripping down his hair, clinging to his eye lashes. He didn’t seem to notice or care that he was soaked. He was whispering my name, eyes drifting around the houses, scanning the memories he had of the nights we had spent together. The night I had told him my meticulously planned suicide. The nights we had drank and cried ourselves to sleep. All these blurred memories of days that weren’t enough for me. He didn’t show up, and I carried on, my heart aching too much to wait one more day for him.
I watched again as he finally came across my home, or what used to be. Knocking ferociously, he knew he had finally arrived. Ethan, the guy living in the basement flat, opened the door.
“Where’s Alyssa?” he asked, voice carrying all the way up to where I was up in the sky, caressing my skin.
“She’s not here anymore...” Ethan didn’t finish his sentence, but I knew Derek had figured it out. He pushed a hand onto his face, rubbing his forehead fiercely like he always did when he was thinking. He didn’t look up and turned around, not saying another word to Ethan. He walked aimlessly through the streets and I followed him, pushing the fog and clouds that were obscuring my view of him.
He stopped eventually, brushing away tears that were concealed by the rain. I stretched out a hand, almost touching him. I cursed myself. I cursed him. Why hadn’t he been able to stay sober at least for one night? Just one night to remember me, to stop me.
He took out a ring, sparkling in the practically nonexistent light. We were both falling down, unable to catch ourselves. He was on his knees, sobbing even harder, forgetting his dignity. I was beside him, pushing through air, trying desperately to touch him, comfort him. My heart was beating hard, my throat closing up. I honestly thought I would be happier up here, in the havens. I also had waited for him to change that, make me see the beauty in living. It had taken him too long.
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