Lola looks hesitant as she approaches my desk, like she already believes this is a bad idea. I lift my head and shake out my hair, so that none of the blonde curls cover my vision. When she stops at my desk, I look straight up into her eyes. We both wince at the eye contact and she drops her gaze to the floor as she trails a light finger over the corner of the brown table.
"Do you mind?" She nods towards the chair at my side. I shake my head and she seats herself beside me. She stares down at her lap and everything's quiet for a few seconds. However, this is Lola - she can't keep quiet for long. "Why'd you do it?" At first I'm confused and then I realise she's making a reference to our last argument, when we stood in the parking lot, yelling swear words as each other. I struggle to recall what she said.
My heart stops, then continues. You broke Timi's heart. I chuckle to myself and her head shoots up. The first thing you should know about Lola is that when she's curious, she's vulnerable. When she's in that state, you have to step lightly."Is that what this is about? Timi? God Lola - you haven't spoken to me in four months because I broke Timi's heart?"
She raises an eyebrow and I realise that I've hit the nail on the head... however, a little to the left. It's not the complete truth. It also looks like Lola isn't going to divulge any more information though. "Look Lola, I'm not going to play guessing games with you. I'm meeting Dean." I throw my books into my bag and sling it over my shoulder as I push my seat back. Lola's hand wraps around my wrist. I stare down at it for a few moments, as does she. It's like she's trying to convince herself she's not doing this. Confronting me.
"Why are you dating him? Do you feel sorry for him? Did you want to get back at Timi for... for..."
I know exactly what she's thinking. Timi's brother is the ex of my older sister. He's currently in prison for domestic abuse. Even if I hated Timi's brother, I would never seek revenge on Timi. It wasn't her fault. I just... don't do revenge.
I think back to the other night, when I lay at Dean's side. I think of how hungrily he'd kissed me, how I'd been so... ready and how then, he had told me he loved me. I struggle to hold back the small smile that wants to flit across my features at the feeling of the memory.
"You don't know me very well, do you, Lola?" I sober up, pulling my wrist from her clasp and dropping my bag back at my feet. I continue standing up, so that I'm above her. It's nice to feel a sense of comfort by doing that. "Timi is my friend but I love your brother."
"Well then... are you doing this because you feel sorry for him? Because he's dying?"
Time stands still.
A sob catches in my throat but I refuse to cry. Have you ever had that feeling of losing control, where you simply cannot find the words you want to say? No, that's wrong. I know what I want to say; I simply cannot speak the words. It's like my voice box won't obey me because deep inside, I don't know if by denying it, I'll destroy myself if I later find it's true.
I stare up at Lola with watery eyes and open my mouth. For a few seconds, I cannot speak. Then the words come to me."You're lying. He'd have told me."
Gender:
Points: 1353
Reviews: 16