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Valentine's Day Sucks: 6/6



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Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:13 pm
roxythekiller says...



Sorry for the long wait! I got bogged down due to schoolwork :(
Here is the last part of the saga. But I gave this some thought, and I'll begin posting the (completed) sequel on February :D!



When I wake up, there’s something warm and fluffy pressed against my face.
I swat it away with both hands, and squint my eyes open.
Ethan’s face blurs into view, and I hurl the fluffy thing at him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Toby.” He laughs.

I sit up and glare at him, but then I notice with horror that the thing I just threw at him was the teddy bear I stole the other day.
He holds it up and raises an eyebrow, “Does this look familiar?”

“Yes.”
I don’t recognize my own voice, and I feel my cheeks burning.
I’m a thief, caught red-handed.

“Well? Say something, Toby.”

I pull the blanket over my head and hope the hypothermia kicks in soon enough.
To my surprise, he pulls it down. I probably look like shit, but he looks like a Greek God in the morning. He’s naked from the waist down, my jacket hanging loosely over his shoulders. He’s as cold as I am, but the smile on his face could warm up even the coldest room.

“You’re craftier than I thought. I shouldn’t have underestimated you.” He tosses the bear back to me, “Happy Real Valentine’s Day.”

I look down at the overpriced, brown-eyed satin bear and blurt out,
“…what? I don’t get it.”

He stands up and his blue eyes shine down at me, “Read the tag, stupid.”
I sheepishly glance at the heart-shaped tag on the bear’s ear:

To Toby, who I loved since freshman year.
PS: I love your eyes. Don’t ever get contacts.


I look up at him incredulously, “What about Tiffany? You sent her that gram---”

Ethan laughed, “I didn’t send her anything. She sends herself a gram every year. You can ask her, it’s only a secret to those who don’t ask.” He puts his hands on my shoulders, and I can’t help but glance at him, “These last few years been shit, Toby. I loved you since freshman year, and I only dropped you because I couldn’t handle what I was feeling at the time. It took me a while to accept I was gay, and that I loved you. I planned to give this to you and explain it after sixth.”

All this time… I thought…

“I… Thank you. I never got something like this before, from anyone.”
I look back at the bear, and realize that I’ve never been this happy about a stuffed piece of fabric before. I passed a million teddy bears on store shelves, I see a million different people with a million different teddy bears every valentine’s day. But this--- this one’s mine. No one else’s, mine and mine alone.
So many emotions are running through me at the same time. For once, I don’t know what to say. All this time… if only I knew.

“I… I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

When I glance up at him again, he smiles and pulls me into a kiss.

“I already have what I want.”

Valentine’s day is still my least favorite holiday.
It’s a day of overpriced goods and commercialized crap.
But it’s also a day I can spend with Ethan… and any day I spend with Ethan is a day I end up loving. And if you don’t like that, fuck you.


The End

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other parts:

1/6
topic22979.html

2/6
topic23061.html

3/6
topic23356.html

4/6
post282923.html

5/6
topic24261.html

6/6
topic24931.html
Last edited by roxythekiller on Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.
  





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Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:25 pm
chayonz says...



Haha.

What a kicker. Lol.
I've read all of these stories and they're all pretty good.
I've got no complaints.

Sorry my reply isn't that helpful.

but Congrats!!

~chayonz
h a y o n :)

nobody is perfect. thats why pencils have erasers.
- unknown
  





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Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:55 pm
SASSYLADY333 says...



Hahaha! That was awesome! I absolutely love your characters, and I can't wait for the sequel. :).
"Show us, don't tell us!" They say, but sadly I realize I'm a storyteller. When I cross over and accept maturity, when I want to change then maybe I'll be willing to show people my prose and not tell them. As a writer I have to grow. :)
  





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Mon Jan 21, 2008 11:33 pm
MidnightVampire says...



Loved it! Happy happy, I was waiting for this. Interesting thing with the tiffany thing.
I've got no complaints, couldn't have any.
-MV
I realized that I said I'd be gone for only two weeks...but I was gone for much longer.I hope to stay on this time. :)
  





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Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:41 pm
GingerLizzy says...



Phew, that is one sexually filled story; it was really good!

I just read all six parts and can I just say, bravo dear. You added a lot of emotion into the story and you generally captured what it's like to be a teenager; gay or not. I liked how funny it was, that was a real bonus to the whole thing and some of the things that you wrote about, such as thing from Texas being big, really made me laugh so much.

I once read a book based on a gay boy, by a French man. It was a really good read, I even did a review about it. I think you might enjoy it.

Overall, I really liked this, although I do think it was a little extreme with the language in some places.

GingerLove
:)
Worship the ginger monkey :) aaand join my new group!

Oh, and enter my new contest!
  





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Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:49 am
Bella says...



I really wish I could give some advice, but I've got none. I really loved these -- I just read all six of them in about ten minutes, because I didn't want to stop. Bravo!

MERRY WRITING!
~Bella~
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) <3

Please review my performance poem?
  





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Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:49 pm
PerforatedxHearts says...



What I especially loved was the emotion. And I absolutely LOVED the beginning on this, very catchy and simply mainstream-contemporary fiction-wonderful. :] If you know what I mean.

Try to make these longer, though. Stretch the moments out. Of course, right now you have plenty of conveyed emotions anyways, but still. :]

Good job. Pretty good job.

--seree.
"Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills, and listening to repetitive electronic music." --anonymous/banner.
  





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Sun Jan 27, 2008 2:17 am
Loose says...



I actually didn't like this part. It seemed too convieniant. Like if the guy I like was to suddenly turn around and say that everything he ever did to anyone else he really meant to do to me... It seems too cliche and cliche is boring.

I think this would have gone much better if Ethan wasn't gay for Toby the whole time but in fact decided it was worth investigating on Valentines Day. Or better yet, if he felt nothing for Toby and Toby decided to get over Ethan.

My opinion, but I felt that this was too typical.
  





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Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:54 am
maiko_koto says...



Wow! Awesome Story! I just read all 6 parts, and I have to say that you did a really nice job! I really like your characters! I can't really critique you on much, but I hope you continue with this story!

I was a little surprised at the ending because it seemed a little unrealistic which was something that the rest of the story definitely was...........but still, I really liked your writing. Please continue!
  





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Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:45 am
Gwenevire says...



Love it!
Super good. Its so well done I can't say anything but.... Keep writing and add more description!
Good work!
  





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Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:24 pm
chick_with_a_pen says...



omg so qwesome you realy dont expect the ending i was so suprised! sorry this ist very helpful.
  





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Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:26 pm
chick_with_a_pen says...



omg so wesome you realy don't expect the ending i was so suprised! sorry this int very helpful.
  





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Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:48 pm
lakegirls says...



Wow, I never read a story about two gay guys before. I think when two guys are in-love it's totally sweet. I really did and truly like this story.

One thing I did notice though is that when Toby is thinking to himself you put it in quotes as if he is talking to someone. Where it is in first person point of view you can get away without putting it in quotes. It is up to you though.

Can't wait for the sequel!
Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
-Gloria Steinem
  





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Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:10 am
moon_fleur13 says...



i really enjoyed the first five parts but the 6th seemed too happy sitcom ending to fit the rest of the story.
other than that i loved your writing style and can't wait for the sequel!
  





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Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:22 pm
keirab says...



This was a really cute story! It was really funny and sassy...the sixth part I could have lived without, seemed rather cliche what with Ethan suddenly being like "Oh Toby I've secretly loved you for years too!" It seemed a little like you just tried to end it conveniently and in a hurry. But LOVED the first five installments!

Happy writing!
Sgt: Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.
Palin: What if he's got a bunch?
  








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