Young Writers Society

OMIGOD!! I loved it! I liked how the whole heart break thing was setup and how he thought he was protecting her by being mean to her. I thought it was creative how you went through different time periods of their lives. I love this story, but it seems too simple to me. Otherwise I liked it.

keep it going!

-Charlotte Grace

I am a total sucker for stories like these. Gotta love happy endings. My only problem was that the end was a little cliche, I don't mean the way it ended, just the words you used. I know everyone else said this, but there is no other way to express it, it was cute.

Keep it up!

Joyce

Boys are such jerks in high school...and middle school...and most of elementry school when they push you down if they like you. I can only hope it gets better in the future. Probably won't, but a girl can hope.
Okay, the story. You said you didn't want a lot of grammar corrections, so (yes!) I won't give many. I saw some things that needed to be capitilize or not capitilized, and some punctuation issues, but I almost always see that.
The only thing that bothered me with the story, aside from how nothing can ever go right in high school, and it's all about being cool, and...and...just tell her you love her already, Ryan! (bursts into hysterical, gushy, romantic sobs and chows down on a pint of ice cream) was that he becomes a lawyer by 24. Now, I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure lawyers have to go to years upon years of college, and no one gets really sucessful until after they're 30. But maybe he was so bright he skipped some classes and graduated early. I just wasn't sure how realistic that was.
And may I say again, boys are jerks and trying to be popular is stupid.
Keep writing! Just because I went on a rant doesn't mean I don't like it!

Awwwwwwwwwwww!!! This was too cute!! And pretty good for a story made up on the fly, A little bit of grammar mistakes you can fix but other than that I liked it.