Young Writers Society

Righty-oh. I'll take that into consideration. Thanks!

~*Syd*~

Wow. At first I was like 'what's so bad about her mom?'. Then the end part about the whip, I begin to see. Creepy, but I like it. PM me when you get back to this piece, its really got potential.

I sure will, Madame Vampire! ^_^ Thanks for your comment.

~*Sydney*~

OO, well done so far, this could be a very good piece. I like your tense and pace, they fit together very well, and as far as writing is going, great!

I really like the way your character devleps too.

Keep working, good luck

Mark

Thanks bunches, Mark! Character development was one the hardest things for me to work on in this, so hearing that makes me feel accomplished. ^_^ Thanks again!

~*Syd*~

Hey,

I absolutely love this. Can't wait for more. I exspecially like how you ended it. Maria seems so nice and sweet to her younger daughter and then she turns all cruel..
I wouldn't want to meet that woman in the dark.

Keep it up
~Kalliope

Hey! This was a good start, though I didnt get much out of it. I'm sure the next will be better!! But it was a great start!!!!
Kelsi =)

Hey!
I am offical in love with this!! Lol. You are doing such an exellent job with it!
Keep it up!!
Kelsi =)

I enjoyed reading this, and your language is fine. I can't find anything to say that others already haven't, though!